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My personal feelings on the election result

Hey guys. It’s me. I need to just say a few things to my friends out there about the election. Some of you voted for Trump. Some of you voted for Clinton. There’s a lot of reasons for both. I GET IT.

I just want to share with you, and maybe commiserate with some of my soul sisters out there, on how the election results have felt so personal these last few days.

You’ve seen a lot of people talk about grieving the results. The mourning and sadness that those of us who campaigned for a Hillary win feel. The ones of us who were so ready for our country’s first female president, that it almost hurt, we wanted it THAT BADLY. We choked up at the prospect of our daughter’s daughters feeling our pride. Of the generations of women before us that worked to be heard, we wanted to salute their efforts and achievements.

So let’s go back a few years. Like a hundred years. Women couldn’t own property. We couldn’t have a job without our husband’s permission. In some states marital rape was finally outlawed in 2013. What? 2013. Shake my head. We, along with other marginalized groups in this country, can be treated like 2nd  class citizens. We pay the same taxes, but we don’t get the same wage. We point this out, and we’re brushed off that it’s some left fringe conspiracy theory.

I think my husband learned it’s no conspiracy theory when we bought Halloween costumes together this year. Mine cost more and we were practically the same thing.

The likes of Alice Paul and Elizabeth Cady Stanton literally were beaten and some of them, literally died for the right for women to vote. When I fill in my ballot, I am forever grateful the suffering these women chose to endure for me. For my daughter. Thank you Alice.

Face it. The Constitution was written by a bunch of white guys in wigs that divvied up rights as how they saw fit. Eventually black men got more rights. Years later, women got more rights. Yet it still isn’t all fair and equal in the spirit of the land, despite what the letter of the land shows.

I need you to understand this. And here’s why. And pardon me if you’ve never been a victim of sexual harassment, assault or discrimination. If you can’t empathize with me here, then please try to at least sympathize.

The case of Brock Turner unleashed a whole lot of trigger feelings for a LOT of women and men. The number of sexual assaults on campuses in the US is one in four. When a high profile rape case has the perpetrator only serve 3 months of a 6 month sentence- I have mayonnaise in my refrigerator that has sat there longer than Brock Turner sat in prison- women everywhere are ANGRY. Do you blame us? MARTHA STEWART SPENT MORE TIME IN JAIL THAN BROCK TURNER.

Why? Why in God’s name is this possible?

If in 2012, 26,000 women AND men were assaulted in the US military, of which, only a fifth went reported, and 65% of those who reported it, received retaliation. Imagine the horror when your Commander in Chief- elect believes that ‘assault wouldn’t happen if men and women just didn’t serve together’.

The presidential campaign was fraught with quotes of Trump talking about women’s tits and pussies. A news anchor was fired for giggling along with him and yet the candidate can keep yelling things like ‘Lock Her Up’, when he has pending sexual assault charges against him. His sons think if a woman experiences sexual harassment at work they she should just change jobs. Trump’s campaign manager blames rape on the woman being the weaker sex. The candidate that said a woman needs to be punished for seeking an abortion and picked the running mate that believes condomns are too modern is now at the helm of our three branches of government.

Here’s an example of the patriarchy- more money is spent by Pharma companies on advertising Cialis, than researching Pediatric Cancer. Birth control is still considered ‘recreation’ by some insurance companies and legislators, never mind that it’s actual health care.

I’m sorry if it’s been so annoying watching the Hillary supporters cry and get upset over the election results. But it’s because when we fight and try, when we scream and shout, when we demand to be heard, to feel mattered, we were silenced once again. We thought this would be our time. Our chance to feel the sweet satisfaction of speaking out to show that yes, in fact, we’re here. We’ve arrived. We can run the free world. A black man can be president, and now a woman can too. We’ve put in the work these last few hundred years. IT’S OUR TURN!

And then, nope. A big NOPE. No confetti, or balloons. Glass ceiling- still upright.

The Trump win to a lot of women, was like a violation. It was the boss telling you that you didn’t get the job. The judge giving parole to your attacker. That if you had just been more ‘likeable’ to lead the project, you would have been promoted despite the fact that you have twice the years of experience and job training. It was the narrative we’re used to: to not wear the short skirt to the frat party, to not be so bossy when talking to your colleagues, to just hang in there- there’s always next time. As if our team lost the Superbowl. This wasn’t a sport people. This is life. This for some, was the frayed fabric of a victim’s existence to feel justice.

But feminism is a bad word. It’s angry women yelling in marches while burning bras. It’s considered a hateful position to take because it means you hate men.

Uh, no. It means we want the same things. Not more. Not less. Feminism is the radical notion that women are people

I’m sitting here writing this and I know I’ve only scratched the surface. But I hope you get the idea.

We’re used to cleaning up after people’s messes. We’re used to doing double the work for half the pay. Think of where you’d be without the backs of women to carry those burdens. We will prevail. You thought we were angry before. Just wait.

I’ve got a hammer ready.

 

break-glass

Kids, Colds and Snot

Cough and cold season is here, and I’m teaming up with Boogie Wipes and Saline Soothers to help you and your family feel better faster with a Cough & Cold Giveaway.

When Kids Get Sick

From the first sniffle to feeling downright sick, Boogie Wipes has tips, tricks and hacks to guide you through the entire cough and cold season (including great information on how to keep germs from spreading between siblings!)

Click here to read through their cough and cold survival guide and be prepared for the season.

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When YOU Get Sick

It’s bad enough when your kids aren’t feeling well, but when you aren’t feeling well, it’s downright miserable. While there’s no cure for the common cold, Saline Soothers Nose Wipes provide soothing comfort for sore noses with Natural Saline, Vitamin E, Aloe and Chamomile.

Click here to learn more about Saline Soothers and grab a coupon.

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It All Comes Down to Saline

Whether you reach for Saline Soothers or grab your kids’ Boogie Wipes, it all comes down to Natural Saline. The Natural Saline in both products dissolves mucus, while the Vitamin E, Aloe and Chamomile soothe and comfort even the most sensitive skin. Click here to learn more about the benefits of all-natural saline.

Enter to Win!

Stock up on your cough and cold supplies so you’re ready when sickness strikes this season. Complete the form below to enter to win! (Click here to enter if you do not see the form.)

One winner will be randomly chosen to receive Boogie Wipes, Saline Soothers, Burt’s Bees cough drops, Purell hand sanitizer, DavidsTea Cold 911 tea and color-changing mug, plus a $100 Target gift card.

Giveaway ends on Monday, November 21, 2016 at 11:59 pm ET. Giveaway is open to residents in US and Canada over the age of 18. If winner lives in Canada, alternate gift card will be provided of same value.

Indie Beauty Brands You Should Know About

Like any hard core beauty junkie, I love shopping at the big stores: Sephora, Ulta, Nordstrom. But lately in my constant pursuit of cosmetic scores, I find I get my real buzz from the smaller, lesser known brands. The gems of the Internet that you hear from via word of mouth, a hashtag on social media, or a fellow beauty guru on Youtube.

Well, follow my advice and check out these smaller beauty companies that don’t compromise punch for just a name, that blow your mind with pigments and ingredients over glossy packaging or advertising.

 

frugalistablog indie brands glossier

Glossier

Glossier is a company started by beauty editors that make ‘easy to use basics that form the backbone to your unique beauty routine.’ Shown above are the basics that make their brand. Although simple, it’s effective. Brow Boy is a cult favorite among beauty gurus to fill in and shape sparse browse or just add fullness to your already ‘on fleek’ brows. See that Balmdotcom? That’s a skin salve made of mostly coconut oil that will moisturize and solve any dry skin need. You want it on your lips, your elbows, your cuticles and any crazy dry patches that spring up on you. Minimal ingredients and straight forward results are what make Glossier unique. Join the bandwagon and check them out.

frugalistablog indie brands sauce box

SauceBox

You might be a little saucebox if you are rude, impudent and obnoxious. That’s the Old English origin of the moniker this Monther/Daughter company uses to call their company. Expression and no boundaries, innovation and quality without expense; this is their philosophy. The shadows above are from the Etude palette. A soft, neutral and tremendously pigmented eye shadow palette. It’s a staple in my routine. Sold out until November. I know. I’m an idiot for tempting you. But there’s other awesome shadows on their site. Cruelty free and made in the USA, I’m in love with this brand. Check out for yourself my YouTube video reviewing and demonstrating the shadows.

 

frugalistablog indie brands deciem

Deciem

Call themselves the abnormal beauty company. And they’re right. They house several brands under their roof and it’s truly like no other company out there. The NIOD Photography Fluid creates a canvas on your face of light and perfection before you put on your makeup. It’s remarkable. It has nano-prismatic blurring ingredients! I’ve featured it on my YouTube channel before and I love the invention, science and beauty that powers this beauty brand. Deciem makes me feel smart for buying their product. They’re the thinking beauty addict’s love affair.

 

frugalistablog indie brands suva

SUVA Beauty

Created by makeup artist, guru and YouTube personality, Shaina Azad. She has worked in Cairo as a journalist and makeup artist for Egyptian brides. She has worked on set in Canada for movies and developed her line to fill a need for pigmented products that didn’t compromise. Her formulas contain their own primer in the shadows. I found this line at IMATS Vancouver and I fell in love with the way the shadows go on and the color doesn’t stop. It’s crazy!  The above shadows can be worn as contour and blush shades as well. It’s multi-functional!

 

If you get excited like I do when finding new brands, then dive in to these companies. Check out my videos if you want to see them in action too! Have fun. And remember- there’s no rules in makeup!

 

A DIY Memorable (and budget friendly) Milestone Birthday Party

frugalistablog diy party on a budget

I love a lavish party. But the thought of paying for it and organizing it makes me break out in hives. I also know that my mom detests big and grand affairs but was turning the big 75 this year and wanted something special.

Brainstorming ideas gave inspiration to things like: a trip to Paris, a hot air balloon ride, a sky writer wishing her a Happy Birthday. None of these were feasible.

I kept thinking to myself, “How do I make a fabulous 75th birthday party??!!” And then the answer came to me-

What does any grandparent want? MORE TIME WITH THEIR GRAND KIDS!

So I did what I could. Emma and Owen were available. But her other grandchildren were traveling both abroad and back east. It would rely heavily on Emma and Owen. But we could do it.

First we piled on the sap.

Not the tree sap kind, but the sentimental kind.

We made a list of 75 things we loved about my mom. Our Oma we call her. She’s German. Then Emma cut the list in little strips of paper and we put it in a very affordable apothecary jar (found for cheap at TJ Maxx!). We tied a little ribbon on it.

DIY birthday parties grandparents milestones frugalista blog

I bought an amazing cake at our local bakery, found some glorious, yet not too pricey champagne at Whole Foods, and we ordered vegetarian Vietnamese food from a family run restaurant in town, which I knew my mom would love.

We took a poster board and folded it in half. We found so many old pictures through the years, scanned them and printed them and pasted them in the card.

I found a DIY banner at Michael’s that we also clipped photos too. I also picked up at Michael’s a chalk board sign that we used for the mantle. Using my coupons everything came to around $15!

DIY birthday party grandparents milestones frugalista blog

I picked out two photos of our families featuring the grand kids and printed them off Shutterfly for just a few dollars. I found 8×10 frames at Bed, Bath and Beyond and used coupons there too. This way she had some prints of her favorite people to display in her home.

In our digital age, sometimes, a good old framed photo of loved ones is just what a 3/4 centenarian could hope for!

frugalista blog, diy, birthday parties, birthday table, grandparent ideas, milestone

So without a lot of expense or embarrassing fanfare, we celebrated my mom in the best way we could. She loved the hours of hanging out at our home, listening to her family read 75 reasons why we love her, and cherishing the people closest to her.

I also picked flowers from my yard to add to the decor.

If you have a special birthday coming up for a grandparent, or loved one that you want to add some memorable little touches- feel free to borrow any of my ideas.

 

 

Uh oh. Your kid watched a scary movie- now what?

What to do if your kid watches a scary movie Frugalista Blog

I remember it a few summers ago. Owen was probably 9, maybe 10. He had been having lots of sleepovers at his friend’s house in the neighborhood. Staying up late playing video games, playing baseball in the cul de sac past dark; it was just easy to let him crash there. What I found out later is that sometimes they would watch a scary movie, something involving the paranormal. The other kids didn’t see the big deal. But Owen has never liked scary. Doesn’t like it when someone sneaks up on him, doesn’t want anything with ghosts or just that creepy factor. He watches all kinds of action and adventure films that don’t scare him. He says when they have fictional fantasy aspects, he can differentiate that it’s just a movie, it’s not real.

But in some paranormal films, the plot and storytelling are just TOO real. And you can really wonder what that sound was you heard downstairs, or are the lights playing tricks on you.

So. What do we do when our kid watches a movie that scares them and now they want to sleep with the lights on?

I have partnered with Grace Hill Media and Warner Bros. to bring you some tips on what to tell your kids and help them through this. Also, I have a GIVEAWAY for the grown ups that LOVE to see scary, intense movies with real plot lines and great story telling. The Conjuring 2 is opening Friday, June 10th and I’m looking forward to this sequel.

• The first thing you need to do is sit down with your child and give them the chance to discuss the film openly. Ask them what they saw, what they thought about it, and how it made them feel. Whatever you do, don’t make light of their fears or dismiss their feelings as silly or immature.

• Once their emotions have been aired, assure your son or daughter that this was only a story, just like the imaginary tales they may have seen in books or other action movies and cartoons. Bad things weren’t happening to real people – they were actors playing a pretend game, like they and their friends do.

• Reassure your child that you, as their parent, are dedicated to protecting them. Let them know that it is one of your most important jobs – ensuring they feel safe and are safe. Reinforce that message with plenty of hugs.

• If you are a Christian family, you can explain that God has promised to be with them at all times, even in the midst of danger. Read some Bible verses together that show comfort and protection. Pray with them about the scary movie and their fears, and encourage them to pray on their own when they become frightened at night. If it seems appropriate, you can also practice some coping techniques with them, like deep breathing relaxation exercises or visualizing a happy place.

What we did for Owen was talk to him about his fears during day time. Waiting until it was right before bed seemed to remind him of the images he saw in the film. I explained that there’s special effects and people on the set that are either waiting behind walls or in a control booth that create the images and situations for us on screen. We see the finished product set to music and it just plays with our emotions. Those people in the movie got up and laughed after the director yelled “CUT” and went to go have lunch. Also, we let him sleep with as many lights on, night lights on and stuffed animal fortresses that he wanted. I also used lavender oils and some aromatherapy and breathing techniques like mentioned above.

He is 13 now and will still not go to a scary movie. I’m fine with that. His friends also respect that he doesn’t want to watch them. I know kids even younger than his age love the scary stuff, and that’s okay. The horror and super natural movie genre is one that some grasp onto early and for some others, never enjoy.

My daughter and I love a good scary film. She and I will definitely be going to see The Conjuring 2! And we’re going to wear our T shirts from the film. Which you can too if you win my Conjuring 2 prize pack.****

In it is:

2 movie passes to see the film

1 Conjuring 2 T-shirt

1 Leather bound and embossed Conjuring 2 journal

2 Creepy tumbler cups with a movie image screened on it

1 Keepsake Conjuring 2 candle

Conjuring 2 prize pack frugalista blog

 

All you have to do is comment**** below if you like scary movies or not. And if you do- tell me which is your favorite because I might not have seen it and need to check it out!

Grab your Rosary beads and light your candles and check out the Conjuring 2 this weekend in theaters!

****giveaway now closed, thank you for your responses!

frugalista blog The Conjuring 2

 

 

 

 

How To Get Perfect Brows- On a Budget

Frugalista blog perfect brows

 

Brows, brows, brows! That’s all anyone talks about in the beauty community. Twenty years ago eyebrows were the last thing to worry about on your face while applying makeup. Ninety percent of the time, I didn’t do anything at all with them.

I didn’t even start plucking or waxing until my 20s! But now girls (and boys) are grooming brows as young as middle school. [Read more…]

Dear son- don’t rape anyone

frugalista blog dear son don't rape

Because I have to say it. I have to make sure I’ve done my part. I know the Boy to be sensitive, sympathetic and trusting. But what if that’s what other moms have said too? Other moms of rapists who date raped a girl at a frat party? Or who just saw a drunk girl passed out at a friend’s house and didn’t see the harm? What if those moms thought it was obvious and they never said anything?

So we need to say it. We need to tell boys that you can not, absolutely, CAN NOT have any kind of sex with a girl if she’s not given consent. Period. Done.

It’s weird that we even have to define the gray area. Oh, but what if you’re drunk too? What if she’s not passed out but sort of inebriated? She’s just tipsy, is that okay? No. It’s not okay. There is no gray area. It’s black and white. [Read more…]

What’s On My YouTube Channel

Hello readers. Long time no read.

As absent as I have been here on my blog website, it’s only because I have been all over the place on my YouTube channel.

It’s not that I don’t like to write anymore. I do. Sort of. Writing is hard. But I like makeup. A lot. So I’ve found my passion and I’m diving in. Like, head first. Or feet first cannon ball style.

I enjoy the thrill of finding new products. Of opening new packages of lipstick and seeing their glossy, gleaming smooth surface. Foundation excites me. It’s a little bit strange for those of you not in makeup land. I get it. [Read more…]

#A4PaperChallenge: The Internet’s Latest Dumb Trend

I came home from the gym today after dying on the elliptical and killing myself with pull-ups. Not the potty training pull-ups, the kind that you pull yourself up on a bar. I am working up to doing more of these on my own. You know, for when I happen to be on a cliff dangling and need to use my own upper body strength to save my life. I think of these things when I’m falling asleep.

I came home to get on social media and find the latest dumb ‘challenge’ called the #A4PaperChallenge.

Since you are probably unawares of this stupid trend, let me inform you. It started in China where women, girls, females of a diminutive frame stand behind a piece of copy paper, or 8.5×11 regular office paper, to show if they’re skinny enough. “Look, I can hide behind this piece of paper, I’m so skinny!” is basically what they’re showing us.

Paper Thin. Because that's a thing now. Ugh. #A4PaperChallenge

Paper Thin. Because that’s a thing now. Ugh.
#A4PaperChallenge

Since on the Internet, things are separated by seconds and not miles, this trend is finding its way to the States, Europe and God knows wherever else women need to prove themselves and how itty bitty their waists are.

 

Say it with me, “UGH”.

 

Enough with the ‘waist training’ and the paper challenges and the thigh gaps, and the concave stomachs.

We are not women in 1850. This isn’t Scarlett O’Hara days of corsets and 18 inch waists. We are more than that!

Thank you Internet for setting positive body image progress back one hundred years. Stop.

You should want a smaller waist for cardiac health, reducing your risk of stroke, diabetes, and high blood pressure. Not for an Internet trend.

Who started this anyway? Some bored office worker? What’s next? The #rulerchallenge?

I hope not. I decided to try out a few of my own random objects around the house.

 

I would like you to notice that I am mastering #Toasterchallenge

 

Thank you very much. Now go on with your bad ass selves and change the world without silly vanity trends.

Can I hear an Amen?

#A4PaperChallenge #Fail #notgonnahappen

#A4PaperChallenge #Fail #notgonnahappen

#scissorchallenge #notsomuch

#scissorchallenge
#notsomuch

 

#toasterchallenge #nailedit

#toasterchallenge
#nailedit

 

#fryingpanchallenge #likeaboss

#fryingpanchallenge
#likeaboss

 

#cuttingboardchallenge #yougotit

#cuttingboardchallenge
#yougotit

The Pain of Endometriosis

frugallistablog, endometriosis, chronic pain

I wrote last year on Emma’s journey with chronic pain due to endometriosis. It’s still a journey. Since then, she has been doing an amazing job of coping, thriving and overall being an awesome young lady.

Her academic achievements and praise from faculty and random folks not only make me proud, but put me in awe how she can handle so much at such a young age and still come through it with a sense of humor and strength.

She was given a writing assignment in Language Arts to write a poem about an emotional pain. She chose to write about her physical pain and put it in the context of the emotional strain and anguish the pain of endometriosis puts on her.

All I can say is, she broke my heart and made me even more proud of her all at the same time.

I’m sharing this with her permission so that anyone else struggling with the same condition can feel a sense of compassion from a fellow comrade in suffering.

Nothing is more frustrating to a woman with endometriosis when a doctor or even friend says something like, “It can’t be that bad.” ; “Have you tried such and such.” ; “Maybe you should do meditation or yoga.”

Sure thing. We’ve heard it all.

We don’t know what the future holds. Our goal is to keep her comfortable today, while preserving her fertility for tomorrow.

My dearest Emma, I’m so proud of you.

Love, Mom.

 

You think you have felt pain
But you have not felt my pain
My pain is a fire, burning everything in its path
My pain is dark, darker than a winter’s night with no moon
My pain is sharp like the blade of a knife
The pain of hearing you may not be a mother
Your bloodline won’t be passed on
You won’t have a daughter with eyes as blue as the sky
Or a son with hair like silky corn
Your uterus is useless
Yet you don’t want to part with it
For the bright chance you may have a daughter with your sense of humor
Or a son with your freckles
This thing inside me causes such pain yet emits such hope and possibility
This organ I despise may bring me the happiest part of my life
The pain I hate may one day be insignificant because of the love I feel to my children
The love of giving birth to a baby
How strange to have this brought to me by something I hate
My pain is a burning fire
My pain is a candle lighting a dark, cold room
My pain is endometriosis
And my pain will not stop me

-Emma Gallagher