I love my minivan. I do. I don’t understand why people diss on them so much. Last year I wrote Mama’s Pimp Wagon as an ode to my minivan. Maybe I like it so much because it’s a Honda Odyssey that I’ve had for 10 years- DID YOU HEAR THAT HONDA? Yeah, 10 years! Dear God let this not jinx it (knock on wood). It takes me where I need to go, it has heated leather seats, the kids are comfortable. If anyone out there is considering purchasing a minivan- here is why I think they are cool:
- They rarely get stolen
- There’s 3 rows of seats. Depending on how many kids you have, you can spread them (the kids) out as far as possible.
- You can fold the 3rd row seat down very easily and have a picnic back there, or take a spontaneous trip to IKEA and see how many Ulv bookshelves or Torg chairs you can fit.
- It has 11 cup holders. With 11 cup holders I own the Starbucks drive thru like a boss. Although I’ve never actually ordered 11 drinks at once. But knowing I can, is joy enough.
- I love pulling up to a valet at some swanky place and handing them the keys and saying, ‘take care of her, she’s my baby’, and then also saying, “don’t mind the cheerios and gold fish crumbs everywhere, or the empty juice boxes, or that subtle but funky puke smell.”
- You can impress people with your parallel parking skills. Really.
- At stop lights you can crank up Kidz Bop or Veggie Tales and take on those teeny pecker wagon Preludes with their over-sized mufflers jamming to Li’l Wayne.
- It’s like having your own party bus, but without the stripper pole and chauffeur.
- 3 words- Automatic sliding doors. I repeat- Automatic Sliding Doors.
- It screams commitment and stability. It also screams, we are parents and we have no shame.
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