People say nice things when I post a pic of myself with the kids or McSweetie on Facebook. They say, oh so photogenic, or, how pretty!

Well, that’s very kind, and I love hearing that. BUT, what they don’t know is that we went through several attempts to get that photo.

I do weird, spazzy shit in photos. In social situations I’m always talking or eating. So pretty much my mouth is in some strange position. I look like I’m going to vomit, or I’m about to have diarrhea, or give birth to Satan’s baby.

So I thought I would go through our albums and give you a tutorial on the worst. It’s like ripping off a band-aid. It’s gonna hurt at first. But it might feel good to reveal the truth.

If I’m ever in a social situation with you, and you snap my picture, you can expect to do a lot of cropping and retaking. Also, when I think something is going to be funny, usually captured in a picture just looks deranged. For example:

And this one is the winner. It takes the cake for, “I thought it would be a good idea but in the end, I look ridiculous.”

You’re Welcome. There’s plenty where that came from.