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25 reasons not to have sex every night. Or much at all for crying out loud.

Frugie blog- reasons not to have sex with your husband. HUMOR, Marriage, life

There was an article in Huffington Post this summer about why I should have sex with my husband every night that made me roll my eyes out of my head. Like, I think I sprained something.

Power to that woman and her husband. But gobsdangit, she just convinced about 8 million husbands that they should be gettin’ some on every day that ends in Y.

Oh PUHLEEZE.

Disclaimer- I’m a happily married woman of 17 years who gives and gets it from her hubs plenty. So there.

But here’s my list on reasons not to have sex.

1.  I haven’t showered.

2. It’s Tuesday.

3. I had to clean the cat box earlier.

4. I have gas. Again.

5. I’m constipated.

6. I’m feeling bloated.

7. I had to put the kids to bed.

8. I made dinner.

9. I did the dishes.

10. I’d rather watch Downton Abbey.

11. I had to go to our kids’ school and it was exhausting.

12. I had to go grocery shopping.

13. I just washed the sheets.

14. I ate too much bread today.

15. The dog is snuggling me.

16. Our son is sleeping on our floor again after his nightmare.

17. It’s Thursday.

18. We did it last week. Or month. Whatever.

19. You promised me a back rub and only a back rub.

20. I need to exfoliate my face.

21. I’m tired.

22. We talked about our financial situation.

23. I’m worried about a UTI.

24. I just showered.

25. I painted my nails and they’re still wet.

Well, I could go on and on. Couldn’t you? I mean, let’s not get carried away. Sex is natural, sex is fun, just like George Michael sang. But good gracious, I’ve got things to do. I’m middle aged and tired. I don’t need no twentysomething who hasn’t found her first gray pubic hair, or crows foot, telling me what to do. If he wants sex every night, he can have it. By himself. But see, even he’s too tired for that. So there you go. It’s called life.  And nobody needs to tell you what to do. So there.

 

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Comments

  1. All of the above and MORE!

  2. Kelly DeBie says:

    Everything about this post. Yes.

  3. Bravo. Thank you. I was rolling my eyes right along with you at that post. *eye roll* seriously. Oh! And you forgot “I feel fat.” And “We are out of liquor.”

  4. Love this! How about: the house is a mess, the dog is watching, I have PMS (pre or POST), I’m wearing a mouth guard and a retainer. :)

  5. Michelle says:

    Oh, sister, ALL THESE THINGS.
    (But especially #s 13 and 19!!)

    LOVE. THIS. Will share!!

  6. Hahaha this is funny. I shared to Ahalogy, thank you for creating a pinnable image .;)

    I actually love sexytimes right after a shower. But my favorite excuse for NOT having sex is, “the kids drove me crazy today and I don’t want anyone to touch me.” =)

  7. Amen, sister!

    “So there.” Cracking up!!

  8. Carrie says:

    I NEED TO EXFOLIATE MY FACE?!?

    Ahhhh hahahah!!! Dear Lord there are quite a few on here I can agree with and then there are quite a few on here I just might need to use!

    It’s Tuesday. Yeah…=)

  9. Teri says:

    Only 25?? And why is it that when they’re falling asleep and we rub their back it’s okay but if we want a back rub it’s an automatic request for sex?? NO I just want a back rub, dammit!! Rub my back and THAT’S ALL.

    Just me?

  10. Meredith says:

    Cracked me up the first I read this and cracking me up now. Too true! And you know how I feel about Downton 😉