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Study says a study about labor pain is the douchiest dumbest thing ever

What if I said a study says that a man getting his balls chopped off isn’t as painful as men claim?

SAY WHAT?

That’s preposterous! I can’t even imagine. I mean, that would be terribly painful. Well. Now don’t get me wrong. It hurts. But ask the man 2 months later and he’ll say maybe he’ll have forgotten the pain.

Or, let’s say he pushed out the Hope diamond from his urethra and didn’t get any pain meds and he might say that it hurt like a mother fucker, but later he forgot the pain once it healed.

Where am I going with this?

Yesterday I read a ridiculous article with the headline, “Study says child birth pain not as painful as women claim.” I’m only linking to the article so you can see how shit it really is. And maybe it’s not the article so much as the study itself that is complete shit.

frugie blog and the study childbirth not as painful as women claim

Let’s look at that shall we?

Child birth pain, not as painful as women claim.

SAYS WHO??

Who the fuck says that?

Women claim? Claim? That seems to suggest doubt. We ‘claim’ to have pain. I mean, maybe just a smidgen. I claim to have seen Bigfoot, but did I really see Bigfoot? I might claim to have once been able to do a back hand spring on the balance beam when I was 15. I might claim I can sing the entire Grease soundtrack by heart.

These CLAIMS may or may not be 100% true. But I’m not ‘claiming’ I had pain during childbirth. I’m shouting it from the mother freaking mountain tops that it hurt like a beast. A mother fucking Johnny Cash Ring of Fire beast.

When you look up the definition of claim it reads:

“an assertion of the truth of something, typically one that is disputed or in doubt.”

Further in the article it reads that the purpose of the study was to see if epidurals were helpful for moms.

See, this is what pisses me off.

Why are we always having to bang down the door for our own worth? We have to fight for birth control, for pain control, for equal pay. I am sick and tired of it.

Like Dee Snyder of Twisted Sister, we’re not gonna take it anymore.

Let’s hear from my panel of experts:

“Everyone always says that childbirth for a woman is like the pain of passing a kidney stone for a man. I have passed two kidney stones and two babies. The gigantic bloody howling bowling balls passing out of my body were way worse. Just sayin’.” – Ellen from Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms (who is a retired DOCTOR by the way.)

“Illinois woman claims that childbirth felt like a flailing rhino was ripping through her body wearing her vagina as a party hat.” Kerry from HouseTalkN who birthed 4 – 10 pound babies! (Not all at once, we won’t give her that much credit.)

“I thought my uterus was going to explode from the pain. It became one giant contraction. Labor had stalled and I didn’t know if I would pass out from the pain, need a c-section, or if it was possible to actually die from pain. The baby’s heart rate was hovering at a danger zone. When they gave me the epidural, I immediately felt warm and relaxed and within 40 minutes I went from 3 cm to 10 cm and delivered my baby girl.” – Me.

Pain is a personal experience. It’s subjective. You would never tell a combat veteran how his pain ‘claims’ to be measured. Pain needs to be honored and respected. It scars us. My painful experience of labor was etched in my cortex for months and months. It brought me to dark places when I was left quietly nursing my daughter, or suffering from a sleepless night. It caused layers of underlying fears and thoughts of inadequacy that haunted me months after my initial post-partum recovery.

I’ve worked through migraines and broken limbs, endometriosis and back injuries throughout my daily life. I’ve never relied on narcotics for these. Does that make them not painful? Less painful? No. It is how I process the pain. It is how I perceive the pain. It doesn’t make it less real.

Pain is not quantifiable. Sure we ask someone to rate their pain on a 1 to 10 scale. It gives us something to measure it in order to treat what they are experiencing. But what a 4 is to one person, could be a 9 to someone else. It’s based on subjective factors like experience and emotion, mental state, fear, lack of fear. Whatever.

Studies like this don’t help women. It doesn’t help our cause for men in lab coats to  try to determine how painful we ‘claim’ child birth is.

I don’t know what it’s like to get kicked in the balls, but I believe a man when he says it’s his worst pain. Is it worse than childbirth? I kind of doubt that. But it’s a severe horrible pain.

Professional soccer players get kicked in the goody sack several times in their career, it doesn’t stop them from playing. Nor does it require 6 weeks postpartum recovery, maxipads the size of Volkswagen Beetles and perineum bottles of warm water every time they use the bathroom.

“The researchers … called the moms twice, two days after birth and again two months later, to see if they used the same pain scale and provide an overall evaluation of her labor pain. The results show the women rated the process less painful two days after their delivery than they did when the researchers asked them again two months later.” (shit study from stupid researchers)

Well gee golly whiz. We actually forget our pain. Yes, this is true. It’s our body’s coping mechanism. It’s why you need a few years between each kid for the amnesia to set in. What happens when a woman is 6 weeks post partum or 12 weeks post partum and finds out she’s pregnant? She cries. That’s what. Because it is no fucking fun.

It’s beautiful, it’s amazing and I love my babies, but it hurts. And that’s not a claim. That’s a fact.

Am I making myself clear?

 

And just for laughs- let’s watch this video and remember how funny it was to laugh at these guys thinking women exaggerated everything.

Beauty Box 5 October box

I had so much fun with this month’s  Beauty Box 5.

Have you seen the Extend Your Beauty Cosmetic Tool around your local drugstores? This little guy goes to the bottom of bottles to get the last possible bit of fantastic eye cream or Dior Capture Totale Serum (ahem that stuffs expensive!) and this way you can capitalize on those last little bits.

beauty box 5 october 2014 frugalista blog

 

This ain’t your mama’s Chapstick. Dual ended and moisturizing with sunscreen! I love it!

beauty box 5 october 2014 chapstick

 

Nanacoco nail polishes are great high-end polishes at low end prices. Great color and thick, smooth formula.

beauty box 5 october 2014 nanacoco

 

Bellapierre Cosmetics bring to the Beauty Box 5 a dual purpose product- cheek stain and lip color in a true pink. Cheek stains offer light washes of color that look transparent on the skin.

beautybox 5 october 2014  bellepierre

I always save my favorite for last – Lashem Picture Perfect is a primer to smooth and make a great canvas for makeup. It fills wrinkles and pores and gives an even finish.

 

beautybox 5 october 2014 lashem

 

Check out all the deals going on at Beauty Box 5 this month and sign up for a subscription.

*I receive my Beauty Box 5 from them in exchange for this review.

 

I Know Everything, a teen driving safety campaign #JustDrive

 

 

I Know Everything JustDrive Campaign for Teen Driver Safety Week

Young adults, teens especially, can feel invincible. Even immortal. Life is peachy. It’s a combination of freedom but without too much responsibility.

You don’t need someone to watch you cross the street, or buckle you in a car seat. You can buy your own Starbucks with your friends, go to a movie kinda late and not miss bedtime.

And when you get your license to drive- oh boy! The world is your oyster.

But let’s just remember what driving actually means.

It’s not a status symbol. It’s not your ticket to being cool. It isn’t a chick magnet. It is you moving a 2 ton vehicle along at speeds not humanly possible.

It is a means to get from point A to point B. That’s it.

And grownups- listen up- I’m talking to you too. I don’t care about your raised up chassis or your fancy rims. I just want you to pay attention when you’re behind the wheel!

I’m proud to be part of the IKnowEverything.com campaign from the Foundation for Advancing Alcohol Responsibility.

The number one cause of teen deaths in the U.S. is traffic accidents.

Let me repeat that.

The number one cause of teen deaths in the U.S. is traffic accidents.

Well that just makes the hairs on the back of my neck stand up.

I always tell my kids that I have to be paying attention while I’m driving to make up for the folks on the road that aren’t.

Please take a couple minutes to watch the following PSA. Even better, watch it with your teens.

And remember #JustDrive. Don’t do anything else behind the wheel.

 

 

Even better than brown paper packages tied up with string

Like the song says, these are a few of my favorite things.

PRESENTS!

I am not one of those folks that writes ‘no gifts please’ on an invite.

Is it because I’m a Leo? Is it my status as the baby of the family? I love presents.

And if it is a present wrapped in something beautiful, like Martha Stewart beautiful, then all the better!

However, as of late, my wrapping and gift presentation abilities of my own are sadly waning. It’s as if I’m the George Costanza of gift givers and reusing an old gift bag from Great Aunt Edna seems acceptable. Let me just disclose that Aunt Edna passed away in 2005 and she probably had kept all her gift bags from before 1987. I suppose it depends upon your recipient. Would my 18 year old nephew care if he got a birthday gift in a sad, dog-eared Christmas bag from 1998? Probably not. But would my best friend from 5th grade mind? YES.

Also, lately, I’ve become somewhat forgetful. So if I remember the person’s birthday or that it’s Father’s Day the following weekend, and I can just get myself to come up with a decent gift, the wrapping and packaging of said gift is a whole other challenge!

But not to fret. The subscription box gods have answered our calls. We not only get monthly boxes for makeup, pet snacks, or the time of the month(!) we can get gift wrap subscription packages of carefully selected artisan papers, bows, tags, cards and tissue!

Artistry Gift Wrap asked me if I would like a package of gift wrap? Uhm, would I like a package? See above. Heck yes, I’d like a package!

So I was able to try a beautiful array of papers, get this, made of limestone! I don’t know how it is done, and it assures me on the label that it is eco friendly. But honestly, this is the most amazing gift wrap paper I have ever seen. It cuts beautifully. Doesn’t tear and is sturdy as all get.

Not only that, but her package came to me back when it was my wedding anniversary, and in it, was the perfect anniversary card I gave McSweetie!

I should have let him use that card for me since he’s a little bit slacking on his gift planning. Did I tell you the time when we went to the opera for our anniversary and during intermission he said he needed to ‘go to the car’ and instead he really needed to hoof it to the corner store to find an anniversary card for me because he had FORGOTTEN up until that point? Oh, well, there. I just told you the story. That guy. What a goof. Because he needed to go through all that trouble to just sign a card that with his usual, “Love you sweetie, James”  Yes, I’ve looked through at least a dozen cards that are all signed the same way. No more, no less. HUSBANDS.

Okay, back to gift wrap.

Please check out the website- Artistry Gift Wrap. You can choose a subscription plan that suits you. Is it more than heading to Walgreens or Target for a roll of paper? Yes. BUT- it is like nothing in the stores, and you get a selection tailored to the season or your preferences. Tell her Frugie sent you and I’m sure she’ll pack your box with extra care.

How cool is that?

Here’s the products I received: (not all subscription months or paper styles are the limestone paper, just FYI.)

Frugie blog Reviews Artistry Gift Wrap, limestone papers, subscription gift wrap to your door

Frugie Blog for Artistry Gift Wrap, subscription box of luxury gift wrap to your door each month

I received product for this post in exchange for this review. Thank you.

Bronze-y eye and Bold Lip Tutorial for fall

I am loving all the fall colors and palettes in makeup right now. As rich as the salted caramel latte I ordered, so is the new palette from Sephora by MAKE UP FOR EVER.

Frugie Bronzey Eye and Bold lip tutorial for mature faces, makeup over 40, autumn looks, beauty

I dig in and throw caution to the wind, playing with shiny shades and dark lips. Ooh. Want to see?

And as always, I’ve tailored this for a ‘mature’ face, so nothing too over the top.

Check it out:

The deformity I didn’t even know I had

Ladies- you thought your muffin top was a problem, wait until you start obsessing over your banana roll.

Banana rolls are a thing by Frugie Blog

photo credit Vox Efx

What’s a banana roll? Well, contrary to what you might think it is not the latest Pinterest treat to enjoy with your pumpkin spiced latte.

Although that does sound tasty.

It is the latest body obsession that we can thank bodacious babes like Nicki Minaj, Kim Kardashian and Iggy Azalea for. In the year of the butt, which let’s face it folks, has been every year for me, (ahem) we not only want to power out our lunges but now we can surgically take our upper thigh fat and place it in our booties. Well, not ‘we’, but plastic surgeons can.

A banana roll is an ‘unsightly’ (gasp) roll of fat just under the butt cheek. Because butt cheeks are made of fat. Duh.

Let’s just sit on this for a sec. Big butts are in. That’s cool. I always have appreciated a Kardashian backside. I will watch Keeping up the Kardashians just so I can feel better about my proportionally larger posterior.

But(t) not only are big butts in, a certain kind of ass is in. A large, perfectly round ass that has no folds or flaws that sits atop skinny thighs. Because THAT’S realistic (sarcasm font). A lollipop of a butt on a skinny leg. If you tell me that all of this is obtained WITH a thigh gap, I might have to punch someone.

What’s a thigh gap? Never mind.

The problem with celebrity culture bringing out ‘trends’ in body type is people become obsessed with unreal objectives.  These objectives achieved with plastic surgery, in the form of liposuction, that could be dangerous or reverse itself over time, aren’t worth it. Y’all know that Nicki Minaj got butt implants right? That’s not even her real ass! So if you’re trying to undo your banana roll with just your normal non-bionic butt, you’re probably not going to get the results you want in the first place.

According to the UK’s Daily Mail, some surgery clinics have seen business triple when it comes to sucking banana rolls from women’s backsides.

Well, it’s comforting to know the ladies of London have just as much insecurity as the rest of us. Geezus.

What is wrong with a flat ass? There’s a whole continent of folks with flat asses.

Let’s all mourn for the poor thing that thinks her butt is ‘deformed’ that posted her question on realself.com. The picture she posts shows a perfectly formed booty in my opinion. Nothing deformed about it!

You’ve read my rantings about body image before.

I can only handle so much the media, celebrity culture, and superficial masses are dishing out.

You’re thinking, “Gee Frugie, why not just shut up about it, ignore it and go on with yourself?”

Aww, where would the fun in that be?

Folks. I will not be getting lipo for my banana roll. Sure, it’s a stubborn bump of fat that sits under my butt cheek. Guess what?
You know what else is under my butt cheek? Cottage cheese.

Not like the real cottage cheese, but the proverbial dotty clumpy cellulite cottage thigh cheese. Yes, so pretty, I know.

I have been doing lunges and squats like crazy lately. Not because I want some pop star booty, but because working my glutes is a major muscle group that burns calories and gets my heart rate up. Plus, it makes my legs strong if I have to squat over porta potties in an emergency. I got me some serious butt game, no surgery.

I like to think of my body as a buffet; from my chicken-wing arms, to the muffin top cupcake fold in the middle, the now-labeled banana roll and of course, cottage cheese thighs.

And guess what- it’s all delicious THANKYOUVERYMUCH.

 

 

Frozen Halloween Costume Giveaway

Halloween is nearly here, and I’m teaming up with Kandoo and some of my favorite bloggers on Instagram to co-host an epic Frozen Halloween costume giveaway.

Frozen IG Contest

Do your kids love Halloween? Are they obsessed with Frozen? We’re giving away three Frozen Halloween costumes and a $100 Amazon Gift card!

Frozen IG Contest Prizes

Enter Now!

Complete the form below to enter. Four winners will be chosen to receive one of the prizes. Must be 18 years of age to enter. Giveaway ends at Midnight on Saturday, October 11, 2014.

Be sure to Instagram your kids in their favorite Halloween costumes using #FrozenHalloween. We’ll see you there!

Whether you’re trying to potty train your toddler or you just want your older kids to wash their hands every time, be sure to visit Kandoo for great tips, tricks and products for naturally clean fun!

Drugstore Haul and the latest frugal finds!

Frugalista-Blog-drugstore-haul-video-featuring-Target-Rimmel-Milani-and-more.

It’s time for another round of What I Found At the Drugstore!

I am always on the hunt for goodies. I’ve got new things from Milani shadows, Rimmel lipstick, Sonia Kashuk and more.

Don’t forget to subscribe to my YouTube channel if you haven’t already done so. Let me know if you’ve found anything recently you love too.

We have a serious problem

“1 in 4 women in college today has been the victim of rape, and nearly 90% of them
knew their rapist.”

The above statistic makes me sick to my stomach. I have a daughter that will be off to college in a few years. But I also have a son. And as much as I pray for her to stay safe and smart, I’m teaching him to not be a rapist.

The statistics and numbers are staggering. Alarming. The case of campus rape and assault has been in the news a lot lately. The president addressed it in a speech. Rutger University students are creating apps to have on mobile phones to keep women safe on campus.

There’s nail polish that changes color in a drink to detect if it’s been rufied.

That’s great. But we have a problem folks.

We’re not changing the culture of our society. As brutal as it sounds, and like describing a middle eastern third world country, we are a rape culture people.

The United States of America is still a rape culture.

Why?

Because we still put the responsibility on the woman to keep herself safe. The problem is we aren’t teaching our sons to NOT RAPE.

Now while I really appreciate these apps and I will probably have my daughter download them on her own phone (You can read about the apps here.) But it troubles me when I keep hearing of all these measures for women to protect themselves and I don’t hear how we’re changing our culture and society for men to protect women instead of victimizing them. Girls are responsible to not dress provocatively. They can’t wear short skirts to school or school dances. Heaven forbid a boy would be distracted. Girls need to be responsible to not drink too much at a party. They need to stick together in a group. They need to check in with their friends. Reasonable measures indeed. But how nice it would be if men were gentlemen. Saints even.

We need to change when even fashion can dictate what’s cool for guys.

What about male clothing that promotes rape? Can you believe there are shirts with that message?

Foulmouthshirts.com (I will not offer the link, you can take my word for it) has shirts on their website, mind you, in over 350 colors and font styles, that read,

“It’s not rape. It’s a snuggle with a struggle.”

Idakoos.com sells shirts that read “I Love Motionless Girls”

People. This is war.

We have to stop this. It’s a huge battle on a steep hill, but can we please instill in our boys to respect women?

I know it’s not fun to teach our kids the birds and the bees. I know the conversations can be awkward.

But we need to be straightforward about sex, boundaries and respect. We need to talk to them about porn and not to download it. Yes. It’s degrading to women. So be up front with your boys. Tell them that is not how people have sex.

Tell them what is not okay when it comes to dating a girl.

Can we show them that the Ray Rice’s of the world and the Kobe Bryants are not heroes. Yeah. Remember Kobe was found not guilty of raping that woman in a hotel room, but I don’t believe it for a second that he’s innocent.

But let’s focus back on the campus situation. Women working together to protect each other is a great thing. Yes. Apps, buddy systems, staying sober; all of it, is important.

These are necessary since according to the Department of Justice, a college campus of 10,000 students could experience as many as 350 rapes per year.

If those numbers are unsettling (I attended the University of Washington, a campus of 50,000 students, that’s a potential 2400 rapes per year.) and make you want to bring your pitch fork to your nearest university, then listen to this:

Every 21 hours there is a rape on a college campus.

43% of college men admit to using coercive behavior to have sex, ignoring the woman’s protest.

1 in 12 college men admit to fulfilling the prevailing definition of rape, but don’t consider themselves rapists.

Only 10% of victims even report the rape.

And this is only the surface folks. There’s more stats where these came from. Shall we grab our torches now?

Do women just run around being all victimy? Or are young men predators? I’m sure most of these sons are good kids in all other areas.  Clearly we aren’t doing enough to keep them from thinking this behavior is okay. That along with teaching them to hold doors open for ladies, we haven’t pointed out it’s not okay to hold them down for a ‘snuggle with a struggle’.

What has to change? Let’s not make it the woman’s job to protect herself.

Is it some good ol’ boys club that encourages this behavior? That ‘bro code’ is more important than the safety of their girlfriends, co-eds and friends?

We need to teach our sons what rape is and not to do it. That there is no ‘gray area’. Where are the good boys? The gentlemen? Where are the young men to intervene in these frat house or dorm room situations? Because what is more important than a can of pepper spray to a woman, is a man setting an example and pulling back the curtain on his friends’ repugnant behavior.

Frugalista Blog tells us we need to teach our boys not to rape

I’m sickened after hearing even some of our senators and state representatives that still think there’s some justifiable reason to rape a woman.

No. There’s not.

What if she’s drunk? Nope. Not then.

What if she’s passed out? Nope. Not then.

What if she’s wearing a short skirt and you’re kissing her? Nope.

What if she came over when your parents weren’t home and you both got naked? Not even then.

I’m telling you moms and dads- it’s time we teach our boys about how to band together and honor women, and not just teach our daughters where to kick a guy in the groin or buy her magic rufie nail polish.

Are you with me?

For more information and sickening statistics-

http://www.crisisconnectioninc.org/sexualassault/college_campuses_and_rape.htm

https://www.rainn.org/public-policy/campus-safety

Motherhood is hard. You Have No Idea

Sometimes at the fork in the road of motherhood, you see your toddler thrashing about the floor in a tantrum, raging over a denied cookie. You think back to when they were tiny, helpless infants. That was easier right? If only I could follow that other path into a time machine, go back when it was simpler.

Oh, that’s called Mommy Amnesia. An actual Web MD condition. Okay, not it’s not. You just think it was easier then. It wasn’t. Remember the midnight feedings?

You think it’s going to be easier when they’re older. It has to, doesn’t it?

But what happens when you turn over your keys to your 16 year old? That’s as hard as crowning during childbirth!

Oh “YOU HAVE NO IDEA”.

All the stages of motherhood have been covered in this video. Tell me what stage you relate to most!

This video was created for the loving promotion of Jen Mann’s book People I Want to Punch in the Throat: Competitive Crafters, Drop-off Despots and Other Suburban Scourges

Frugalista Blog in the video You Have NO Idea