I wrote last year on Emma’s journey with chronic pain due to endometriosis. It’s still a journey. Since then, she has been doing an amazing job of coping, thriving and overall being an awesome young lady.
Her academic achievements and praise from faculty and random folks not only make me proud, but put me in awe how she can handle so much at such a young age and still come through it with a sense of humor and strength.
She was given a writing assignment in Language Arts to write a poem about an emotional pain. She chose to write about her physical pain and put it in the context of the emotional strain and anguish the pain of endometriosis puts on her.
All I can say is, she broke my heart and made me even more proud of her all at the same time.
I’m sharing this with her permission so that anyone else struggling with the same condition can feel a sense of compassion from a fellow comrade in suffering.
Nothing is more frustrating to a woman with endometriosis when a doctor or even friend says something like, “It can’t be that bad.” ; “Have you tried such and such.” ; “Maybe you should do meditation or yoga.”
Sure thing. We’ve heard it all.
We don’t know what the future holds. Our goal is to keep her comfortable today, while preserving her fertility for tomorrow.
My dearest Emma, I’m so proud of you.
You think you have felt pain
But you have not felt my pain
My pain is a fire, burning everything in its path
My pain is dark, darker than a winter’s night with no moon
My pain is sharp like the blade of a knife
The pain of hearing you may not be a mother
Your bloodline won’t be passed on
You won’t have a daughter with eyes as blue as the sky
Or a son with hair like silky corn
Your uterus is useless
Yet you don’t want to part with it
For the bright chance you may have a daughter with your sense of humor
Or a son with your freckles
This thing inside me causes such pain yet emits such hope and possibility
This organ I despise may bring me the happiest part of my life
The pain I hate may one day be insignificant because of the love I feel to my children
The love of giving birth to a baby
How strange to have this brought to me by something I hate
My pain is a burning fire
My pain is a candle lighting a dark, cold room
My pain is endometriosis
And my pain will not stop me