Follow on Bloglovin>
Ebates Coupons and Cash Back

Goodbye Christopher Robin- a movie review

“I think we dream so we don’t have to be apart for so long. If we’re in each other’s dreams, we can be together all the time.” A. A. Milne, Winnie the Pooh.

Goodbye Christopher Robin

Domhnall Gleeson as in the film GOODBYE CHRISTOPHER ROBIN. Photo by David Appleby. © 2017 Fox Searchlight Pictures

If you read the Winnie the Pooh stories as a child, or read them to your own children, then you are like millions around the world for generations. Winnie the Pooh is considered the world’s most beloved children’s story. And it’s no wonder since it’s precious and delightful. But it also has a sad and bittersweet origin.

Domhnall Gleeson and Will Tilston in the film GOODBYE CHRISTOPHER ROBIN. Photo by David Appleby. © 2017 Twentieth Century Fox Film Corporation All Rights Reserved

A.A. Milne the author and creator of the beloved bear, was a father of an actual boy named Christopher Robin. Something that I didn’t know until now!

The movie, Goodbye Christopher Robin, by Fox Searchlight Pictures, is the story of Milne and how the Winnie The Pooh books came to be. But it’s also a story on fatherhood, relationships, growing up, and the destruction of war on its survivors.

GOODBYE CHRISTOPHER ROBIN, Twentieth Century Fox 2017

A couple of things to mention; this picture is not really for children. Honestly, it’s a little bit dark and sad. Plus it might be embarrassing to have your children watch you bawling your eyes out when it pulls on your heart strings. Something that might have happened to me, maybe.

I’m a sucker for a British period film. I can name all the Merchant Ivory movies of the 80s and 90s and I will forever love any story set in an English countryside. It could be the British girl in me from my dad’s side. He grew up in the English countryside during World War 2, so I feel the pull of my Anglo roots with these stories.

Goodbye Christopher Robin is set after World War 1. Milne a playwright but sent to war to fight for England, comes home from battle with emotional scars and anguish. Shell shock, or PTSD as we know it now, was definitely misunderstood in those days. He and his wife Daphne live in London. His emotional trauma from the horrors of war and being at the front cripple his writing abilities. He wants to write, but can’t figure out how to share words that are useful and important. He decides a break from the loud clamor of the city would be good for his mental and emotional health and moves them and their son Christopher, and nanny Olive, to the countryside of Sussex.

Will Tilston, Margot Robbie and Kelly Macdonald in the film GOODBYE CHRISTOPHER ROBIN. Photo by David Appleby. © 2017 Twentieth Century Fox Film Corporation All Rights Reserved

It’s clear that the ‘English stiff upper lip’ syndrome is apparent in this family. It’s that kind of dynamic where the nanny does more the job of raising the youngster and the parents barely utter an I Love You or give a hug. Something those British are famous for. As Americans we’ve heard of this type of behavior from the Royal Family. But honestly, it’s something my father can tell you about firsthand. There was no nanny for him, but also no hugs. Sad, I know.

While Alan spends time with his son, he partners with his war buddy and fellow illustrator (E.H. Shepard) to watch his son play with his stuffed bear. We see the pages of his books brought to life in the images of little Christopher and his play time. It’s charming and delightful to see the origins of Piglet and Eeyore. But soon we see that the role of Christopher Robin the boy, is overshadowed by Christopher Robin the character in the books. As the stories become a success, he’s paraded around to tea parties, dignitaries and ceremonies. The British people of the 1920s adored not only the stories, but were fascinated with little Christopher. He was by far a celebrity of Kardashian standards, and clearly uncomfortable with the fame that went with it.

Goodbye Christopher Robin

Will Tilston in the film GOODBYE CHRISTOPHER ROBIN. Photo by Ben Smithard. © 2017 Twentieth Century Fox Film Corporation All Rights Reserved

While the people of post war-torn England and Europe embraced the adventures of the Hundred Acre Wood, the Milne family seemed to lose their compass of how to separate celebrity and family life.

As Christopher becomes disenchanted with their lifestyle, and eventually must grow up like boys his age of that time, in a boarding school, we see the effects of what stardom can do to a young person. Mostly how he just yearns for his parents, especially his father’s attention.

Domhnall Gleeson, Will Tilston and Margot Robbie in the film GOODBYE CHRISTOPHER ROBIN. Photo by David Appleby. © 2017 Twentieth Century Fox Film Corporation All Rights Reserved

The movie is gorgeous, thought provoking and surprises you with a punch in the gut and then pulls your heart to the brim of happiness. Tears flowed, both happy and sad while I watched. It was an unexpected experience I will admit. What resonates so deeply is that while Milne was suffering mentally and emotionally, he was giving the world this salve of comfort through his stories about a little boy and his bear.

Goodbye Christopher Robin,Twentieth Century Fox 2017

If you’ve quoted Winnie the Pooh, then you know his philosophy is very astute for just a stuffed bear. I encourage you to check out Goodbye Christopher Robin so you can feel for yourself the heart and mind of what those stories are made of.

 

 

 

My personal feelings on the election result

Hey guys. It’s me. I need to just say a few things to my friends out there about the election. Some of you voted for Trump. Some of you voted for Clinton. There’s a lot of reasons for both. I GET IT.

I just want to share with you, and maybe commiserate with some of my soul sisters out there, on how the election results have felt so personal these last few days.

You’ve seen a lot of people talk about grieving the results. The mourning and sadness that those of us who campaigned for a Hillary win feel. The ones of us who were so ready for our country’s first female president, that it almost hurt, we wanted it THAT BADLY. We choked up at the prospect of our daughter’s daughters feeling our pride. Of the generations of women before us that worked to be heard, we wanted to salute their efforts and achievements.

So let’s go back a few years. Like a hundred years. Women couldn’t own property. We couldn’t have a job without our husband’s permission. In some states marital rape was finally outlawed in 2013. What? 2013. Shake my head. We, along with other marginalized groups in this country, can be treated like 2nd  class citizens. We pay the same taxes, but we don’t get the same wage. We point this out, and we’re brushed off that it’s some left fringe conspiracy theory.

I think my husband learned it’s no conspiracy theory when we bought Halloween costumes together this year. Mine cost more and we were practically the same thing.

The likes of Alice Paul and Elizabeth Cady Stanton literally were beaten and some of them, literally died for the right for women to vote. When I fill in my ballot, I am forever grateful the suffering these women chose to endure for me. For my daughter. Thank you Alice.

Face it. The Constitution was written by a bunch of white guys in wigs that divvied up rights as how they saw fit. Eventually black men got more rights. Years later, women got more rights. Yet it still isn’t all fair and equal in the spirit of the land, despite what the letter of the land shows.

I need you to understand this. And here’s why. And pardon me if you’ve never been a victim of sexual harassment, assault or discrimination. If you can’t empathize with me here, then please try to at least sympathize.

The case of Brock Turner unleashed a whole lot of trigger feelings for a LOT of women and men. The number of sexual assaults on campuses in the US is one in four. When a high profile rape case has the perpetrator only serve 3 months of a 6 month sentence- I have mayonnaise in my refrigerator that has sat there longer than Brock Turner sat in prison- women everywhere are ANGRY. Do you blame us? MARTHA STEWART SPENT MORE TIME IN JAIL THAN BROCK TURNER.

Why? Why in God’s name is this possible?

If in 2012, 26,000 women AND men were assaulted in the US military, of which, only a fifth went reported, and 65% of those who reported it, received retaliation. Imagine the horror when your Commander in Chief- elect believes that ‘assault wouldn’t happen if men and women just didn’t serve together’.

The presidential campaign was fraught with quotes of Trump talking about women’s tits and pussies. A news anchor was fired for giggling along with him and yet the candidate can keep yelling things like ‘Lock Her Up’, when he has pending sexual assault charges against him. His sons think if a woman experiences sexual harassment at work they she should just change jobs. Trump’s campaign manager blames rape on the woman being the weaker sex. The candidate that said a woman needs to be punished for seeking an abortion and picked the running mate that believes condomns are too modern is now at the helm of our three branches of government.

Here’s an example of the patriarchy- more money is spent by Pharma companies on advertising Cialis, than researching Pediatric Cancer. Birth control is still considered ‘recreation’ by some insurance companies and legislators, never mind that it’s actual health care.

I’m sorry if it’s been so annoying watching the Hillary supporters cry and get upset over the election results. But it’s because when we fight and try, when we scream and shout, when we demand to be heard, to feel mattered, we were silenced once again. We thought this would be our time. Our chance to feel the sweet satisfaction of speaking out to show that yes, in fact, we’re here. We’ve arrived. We can run the free world. A black man can be president, and now a woman can too. We’ve put in the work these last few hundred years. IT’S OUR TURN!

And then, nope. A big NOPE. No confetti, or balloons. Glass ceiling- still upright.

The Trump win to a lot of women, was like a violation. It was the boss telling you that you didn’t get the job. The judge giving parole to your attacker. That if you had just been more ‘likeable’ to lead the project, you would have been promoted despite the fact that you have twice the years of experience and job training. It was the narrative we’re used to: to not wear the short skirt to the frat party, to not be so bossy when talking to your colleagues, to just hang in there- there’s always next time. As if our team lost the Superbowl. This wasn’t a sport people. This is life. This for some, was the frayed fabric of a victim’s existence to feel justice.

But feminism is a bad word. It’s angry women yelling in marches while burning bras. It’s considered a hateful position to take because it means you hate men.

Uh, no. It means we want the same things. Not more. Not less. Feminism is the radical notion that women are people

I’m sitting here writing this and I know I’ve only scratched the surface. But I hope you get the idea.

We’re used to cleaning up after people’s messes. We’re used to doing double the work for half the pay. Think of where you’d be without the backs of women to carry those burdens. We will prevail. You thought we were angry before. Just wait.

I’ve got a hammer ready.

 

break-glass

Dear son- don’t rape anyone

frugalista blog dear son don't rape

Because I have to say it. I have to make sure I’ve done my part. I know the Boy to be sensitive, sympathetic and trusting. But what if that’s what other moms have said too? Other moms of rapists who date raped a girl at a frat party? Or who just saw a drunk girl passed out at a friend’s house and didn’t see the harm? What if those moms thought it was obvious and they never said anything?

So we need to say it. We need to tell boys that you can not, absolutely, CAN NOT have any kind of sex with a girl if she’s not given consent. Period. Done.

It’s weird that we even have to define the gray area. Oh, but what if you’re drunk too? What if she’s not passed out but sort of inebriated? She’s just tipsy, is that okay? No. It’s not okay. There is no gray area. It’s black and white. [Read more…]

Don’t apologize for the music that moves you

If I had a dollar for every time lately I’ve seen the Facebook status, “I’m ashamed to admit, but I like the new Justin Bieber song”, I’d have enough to buy myself a lot of donuts.

And that got me thinking. Why does anyone need to be ashamed to like a song? Oh. Is it because Justin isn’t cool? He’s just a punk ass punk with too many dollars and Lambourghinis to care about humanity? Well, maybe. I do believe he’s coming around though. But heck. It’s music! Listen to it, enjoy it.

I’m so tired of the music police, the snobs that tell us what’s cool to listen to. “OH you like top 40??? Uh, mah, gah. That is like SOO mainstream. I only listen to music written by starving artists performed in roadside taverns.”  or

“If you don’t know what REAL rap music is, and think Macklemore can out rhyme Tupac, then you just are the devil.”

“Ariana Grande doesn’t deserve to breathe the air that Mary J. Blige breathes”

I’m making these up. But seriously. Quit it. Let people like what they like. If you like Animal from the Muppets, then GREAT! He’s a fantastic puppet drummer.

Even fellow artists seem to diss on each other. Dave Grohl is kinda famous for that. But it’s fine. He’s cool. I mean, he’s Dave Grohl. Yet, if folks think One Direction is fun to fill up their iTunes with, are they worth living? Yes. Yes they are. Kanye is the KING of dissing on folks. I mean, do I need to say more? Poor Beck. Yet, he doesn’t need Kanye’s approval. I think he’ll be just fine. And Taylor? I don’t think she’s suffered since he hijacked her acceptance speech.

And remember, One Direction was this cute collection of boy singers that blew everyone away on Britian’s X Factor. We loved them and their moppy do’s when we didn’t even know them. Oh, but once they get big- well, then it’s cool to hate on them.

Music is personal. It transcends generations. It makes us feel good. Or it makes us wallow in the self pity we want to wallow in. It’s a break-up song. It’s a first dance song. It’s a play list when you go to cross-fit class. It’s what helps you get that last mile on the trail. It’s what your grandma listened to when you came for a visit and it makes you miss her and wish for cookies and peppermint tea when you hear it again. It can be so many things.

It’s subjective. What floats your boat might not float my boat.

McSweetie is a metal head. He loves heavy metal. God. Help. Me. I tried listening to some of it with him on a road trip and got so depressed. Also, I couldn’t understand what they were singing because it sounded a little bit like Grover from Sesame Street. But I don’t put him down for it because I don’t understand Tool or Rammstein. He goes to concerts all the time. It makes him happy. Do I go with him? No. He can have his Motley Crue and his Qeensryche and I’ll just enjoy my Katy Perry and Crystal Gale.

What?? I like Crystal Gayle okay!!

Actually, I like a lot of music. Really random. Mostly show tunes. I LOVE show tunes. Give me a good soundtrack as well. Last of the Mohicans? Muriel’s Wedding? OH my gosh- classic!

Also, I like the Bee Gees, Niel Diamond, Iggy Azalea, Macklemore, Queen, Adele, Culture Club, George Michael, Cole Porter, Annie Lennox, Patsy Cline, En Vogue.

Remember En Vogue? Oh my gosh, every time I hear that song- ‘Free Your Mind’ I want to strut on some catwalk wearing a long gown and wearing my Bitchy Resting Face. I LOVE it!

Should I go on? You can tell my interests are random, traditional, maybe a little sentimental.

My point is, I like all kinds of music. There’s a lot of music I don’t like. But will I rain on those people’s parades? Nope.

Oh my gosh- Don’t Rain on My Parade- Barbara Streisand, Funny Girl, 1968. SO GOOD!! Do I work out to that song? MAAYBE. You betcha. << Sarah Palin where did you come from?

There’s a lot of music I don’t understand. But that doesn’t it make it bad. Did song writers and artists like Freddy Mercury, David Bowie, Paul Simon and so many others, write poetry that takes you places unlike some artists today who seem to just be all about their entourage and production team? Yeah, sure.

But that’s okay. Does everyone like opera? Heck no. But is The Magic Flute some of Mozart’s best work? Yes.

Is Kanye a genius? It depends. Did he write a Rock Opera like The Who did with Tommy, did he compose probably the best movie soundtrack we know in our time like John Williams did with Star Wars? Nope. But THAT’S OKAY.

I need to stop picking on Kanye! My point is, the people that like his music probably don’t like The Who or even get goose bumps when they hear Star Wars.

Remember, it’s subjective. But there’s room for everyone, and everyone’s cup of tea.

So I’ll just be hear listening to Dixie Chicks and Wham! enjoying myself.

Don’t judge.

And stop apologizing.

 

 

 

We need to stop with the ‘stop the wussification’ of America bull sh*t

If you want to start a shit storm, have a major retailer tell folks that they are changing the signs in their stores. Not the merchandise. Not their employee benefits, not even the availability of Frozen merchandise at Christmas. But THE SIGNAGE.

So Target last week changed the signs in their bedding and toy departments. Now instead of the signs reading “Girl’s Bedding” or “Boy’s Bedding”, it just says “Bedding”. Because I think we can just decide what bedding we want to buy regardless of gender, right?

Ha! Well according to middle America, this has got to stop. What has to stop, you ask? The Wussification of America. According to many comments, both on the Target website, AND my friend Stephanie at Binkies and Briefcases, if you take away gender labeling, you are pushing the agenda of the Transgender community. And this is bad. Because then we end up as he/she’s or Shims, or Herms or whatever, or also known as being WUSSIES.

NEWSFLASH- a wuss has nothing to do with the GENDER IN YOUR PANTS!! OR SKIRT!!

If you are a wuss you are weak. Because what makes things like, countries, strong? DEFINED MEN AND WOMEN! None of this gender generalness people! (sarcasm font)

The definition of a wuss, according to the Google, is

noun
noun: wuss; plural noun: wusses
  1. 1.
    a weak or ineffectual person (often used as a general term of abuse).
verb
verb: wuss; 3rd person present: wusses; past tense: wussed; past participle: wussed; gerund or present participle: wussing
  1. 1.
    fail to do or complete something as a result of fear or lack of confidence.
    “she’ll probably wuss out because she fears my mighty bowling prowess”
Huh. Well look at that. Wuss is a general term of abuse. Interesting.
Angry customers messaged Target that they would not pander to their buckling under the LGBT agenda. They are going to Walmart to buy their kids’ bikes. Because Walmart clearly labels GIRL bikes and BOY bikes. Obviously you want to shop in the right aisles and not just say to your kids, ‘oh look, bikes. Let’s pick one out you like.’
Now folks are concerned that clothing will no longer be gender specified. It’s true people. Target is going to start a revolution of burlap onesies that are so gender neutral, we won’t know who we’re attracted to anymore. It’s going to be so confusing!!
The problem I have with this term, “the wussification of America” is not just the Confederate flag in the profile picture of the person using the comment, <ahem> but the fact that strength and worth come from defined genders. And that folks are worried that if more and more people express their gender neutrality that we will become weak.
Is it because in order to be strong you have to be a predominant testosteroned male that only wears camouflage, and votes Republican, drives a truck and owns a gun? No. Because that is a stereotype people. And stereotypes, despite having truth to them, generalize a person away from what actually makes them who they are. Because we’re all different. And different is good.
Let me ask the folks that are worried about Target’s lack of labeling, is this a wuss folks?
kristin beck navy seal transgender
That’s Kristin Beck, the Navy Seal who served for 20 years and then retired and transitioned to female. I wouldn’t call her a wuss. How many death threats do you think she’s gotten? She stands up for others that want to transition because she knows they are harassed, threatened, and even murdered based on their gender preferences.
Was Matthew Shepherd a wuss when he was tied to a fence post and beaten to death for being gay? He was such a small-framed young man. His attackers were angry with his lack of masculinity, his gayness, so they killed him. What kind of wusses were they?
Stop it America.
Stop calling people weak based on how they prefer to dress, wear their hair or who they love.
Standing up for what you believe in without putting down others is what makes a strong person. Defending the weak is strong. Facing adversity with courage against the odds is heroic.
The labeling of department store aisles is a progressive move, not as an agenda the ‘Libtards’ (I hate that word) have forced upon our society but as a way to open our horizons. To let boys and girls be kids and play with dolls, trucks, pink puppies or tutus, swords and Nerf guns. Don’t praise the girl for being a Tom Boy, but diss the boy for wanting to play with a doll.
Here’s a link to more about Kristin Beck- Transgender Navy SEAL Kristin Beck; Warrior Princess
Here’s all the craziness Target experienced on their Facebook and Twitter when they made the announcement. Oh, and the guy that posed as a service rep to answer their questions- This Guy Shuts Down Target Gender-Neutral Haters with a Trolly Facebook Account
If you’re one of those people that feel upset or threatened by all this gender neutrality, ask yourself why you feel that way. And then let me respond with Stephanie’s words from her Facebook page- “No one is going to be transported into some sort of reverse Pleasantville where the morality has been removed along with the color and everything is gray and neutral. It really is going to be okay. Promise.”
frugalista blog stop with the stop the wussification of america target haters

It was the best of times… it was the worst of times….

People- does it feel like the end is nigh?

Nigh means near right? With record high temps, a lion killing dentist, women (plural!) dying in police custody, right wing conspiracy theories and Donald Trump, we’re all going bat shit crazy.

Oh, let’s not forget, woman dying in Chinese escalator, man kills ducklings with lawnmower and children left to die in hot cars. Sorry, didn’t mean to be a Debbie Downer on you.

I literally want to scream. I want to bang my head on the table and give up. But I also want to stick my head in the sand and pretend that I don’t know anything.

We’re all angry. Every one of us is seething with something that bothers us. Because we all have stories and experiences, troubles and humiliations. What triggers me might not trigger you.

We need to stop. We need to breathe.

Remember when you were little, and you would watch a special on PBS about the plains of the Serengeti and the dry season. You never had been to Africa so this was interesting. You watched as they did time lapse of the plants and wildlife over the days and weeks. They would talk about the life of the animals, the hunting and dying, the cubs being born. There was even close ups of the insect life. So much detail that you didn’t know existed in this world. Your horizons had just been broadened in your 8 year old brain. You watched that show, thinking you’d be bored because it wasn’t Love Boat, but instead, you were enthralled and asked to stay up past your bed time to finish it.

There was no Internet then. No Google to check out ‘plains of Serengeti’. I still remember that show because it was so revealing, so different to what I had known.

Every now and then when I go about my day of Starbucks, Target runs, cat box scooping, doctor appointments with Emma; I think of the minute details of the world that I don’t even know about. That I know are out there, but I don’t  even have the remote idea of what they’re really like. What sunsets look like below the equator, what winter is at the poles, what suffering a mom feels during famine when she can’t feed her child, let alone vaccinate them.

We are quick to judge on the Internet. We rush to conclusions with what little information we have or has been given to us. Most likely given to us already sliced and diced to be interpreted in a way we don’t know that differs from its original state.

Our anger boils and we think all cops are corrupt. Every Planned Parenthood is selling baby parts. All Mexicans are just rapists and drug dealers.

So instead of jumping to conclusions, I’m going to jump to patience and kindness. I will read things on the Internet and count to ten before I click the share button.

Someone is beaten in police custody? Well of course that person needs to be since they’re in police custody to begin with, they’re probably a low life that found themselves in handcuffs and who cares if they get roughed up a bit? It’s amazing what people conclude from video footage they see on the news.

I posted on my Facebook the other day that the hardest time to be kind to someone, is when they are unkind to you, but that is actually when your kindness means the most.

Kindness isn’t something that’s conditional. It should be unconditional. Like forgiveness and mercy. That may be a little bit New Testament for folks, sorry, but it’s how I was raised.

And I would rather be raised with assuming kindness in this world, than the opposite. And if we can all be kind, even when the person in the grocery store parking lot bumps their cart against your car; then maybe the universe will settle down a bit.

We can think of the Serengeti with all its wildlife, bugs, birds and plants. The details of the world we don’t even know or comprehend may be beyond our scope of knowledge- but that in our small circle of existence, we can set the ripples of compassion out into the universe.

We need to soften our hearts. Because despite all the shit and crap going around us, hardening to it, is not the answer. Hold on to your kindness, your happiness, share it with others.

Start with yourself. Start in your home. Start in the Starbucks parking lot!

Okay, there. Do you feel better? I’m trying. Now go watch kitten videos  or help an old lady cross the street.

frugalista blog it was the best of times, it was the worst of times

To the people who were disgusting on Caitlyn Jenner’s Instagram

This is a rant folks. I can’t stay quiet. I get a sick feeling in my stomach when people are mean. So I have to say something about the way I feel. It just isn’t right that there’s so much hatred. Hatred veiled as either freedom of speech or a religious privilege. I don’t get it.

When Caitlyn Jenner received the Arthur Ashe Award of Courage at the Espys recently, the speech she made was so compelling and compassionate. I am sure that the transgender community was applauding her stand of courage, yes courage.

Not the kind of courage it takes to head in to battle as a service man or woman. Yes, those people ARE heroes. Without question.

Not the kind of courage it takes for a person fighting cancer and knows the treatment is hard and painful, but has no choice otherwise.

It’s the kind of courage after years of being told one thing is the way it’s supposed to be, and then defying those ‘norms’ and stepping out as an individual. It’s the kind of courage that someone decides after 65 years, they want to be the person they felt they always were.

lgbt equality caitlyn jenner

The comments on Caitlyn Jenner’s Instagram post were horrifying. I guess it’s no surprise that folks are put off by an American icon, a former Olympic champion all of a sudden changing genders. But really? Does it require so much hate? I won’t post any of them here. The language and words used are ugly. You can see for yourself in the link I provided, or not and just believe me.

Clearly she deserves the award considering with all the backlash that’s out there, she still steps forward proudly as who she wants to be. That’s called COURAGE folks! She is a hero in the sense of the word for standing up to who she is, and for the others that want to be who they want to be.

I don’t think straight people in this country understand what the LGBT community suffers through constantly. Whether in the past or even now in the present. The bullying, snide remarks, the comments by politicians and lawmakers that degrade them, the struggle to walk down a street and not be picked out for looking effeminate or butch and beaten up. How many times have you heard, “I love the gays, but….” “I have gay friends, I do. But…”

What is different to you, doesn’t need to threaten you. Someone else’s hero status doesn’t take away from another hero’s status.

Elizabeth Cady Stanton is my hero. Susan B Anthony was arrested for voting. She wasn’t allowed so yep, they threw that nice woman in jail. She was quite the activist in those days. Bet you didn’t know that, huh? She lived true to what she believed in, and she made life easier for those that came after her. That’s a hero.

Alice Paul founded the National Women’s Party. These women fought for my right to vote. To be counted. They endured jail, violence, brutality, isolation; all for my right to vote. That’s heroic.

If you thought the scene in Game of Thrones was horrible with Cersei walking naked, and that damn woman and her shame bell, and the crowd being absolutely cruel, then why would you cast insults and sit comfortably at home wishing death or destruction on a person because of their choice on no longer being a man? Should we go back to the medieval days and live in fear or persecution if someone decides they don’t like what you’re doing? “Did you hear, the Jones’ ate meat on Sunday, that’s a sin, we should go burn down their house.”

Caitlyn came forward knowing this would be hard. And she has at least a team of people to help her. She has the financial luxury of security and privacy. She can afford her medications, surgeries and wardrobe.

But for someone in Smalltown, USA who decides they want to do the same, yet they can’t afford any of those things, as well as they need to fear their very life when they step out their door because they’ve put on a dress, or lipstick, whatever; you think that’s okay?

 

People- heroes come in all shapes and sizes. They are the heroes to the people they are standing up for.

The people who want to change their gender are not doing this like they change a tattoo. They want to be happy, to be free with themselves. They aren’t pedophiles or rapists. They don’t troll women’s bathrooms for the thrill.

Gay people being allowed to marry doesn’t take away from your marriage. Just like my right to vote didn’t take away from all the white men voting. Yeah, only white men got to vote for awhile. There was that whole slavery thing.

 

Why is this so hard to understand?

Okay, stepping off my soapbox now. Just remember, what you say is an arrow that can’t be put back in the quiver. What you write, is a stone thrown that can’t be unthrown. Are you part of a solution, or the problem?

Your ideas, beliefs and opinions are not the right ideas, beliefs or opinions. They’re just yours. Just like mine are mine.

And like Caitlyn Jenner said, ‘being different isn’t a bad thing.’

caitlyn jenner speech quotes

caitlyn jenner arthur ashe courage espys lgbt

 

 

 

 

 

Is anyone even listening anymore?

Frugalista Blog Is Anyone Even Listening Anymore?

photo from Google images via brandisre-designed.blogspot

I love social media. I do. I admit. I am on my Instagram all the time. I’m checking out what people are commenting on my Facebook page, I definitely check my comments on my YouTube channel often! But it’s pretty self serving. I want to see what people are saying to me, or about me. Did they read this post or that? Did they click ‘like’ on my picture?

Then I scroll through Facebook and the news several times a day. It’s all rather depressing. I thought the country was pretty divided back in ’04 when Bush first sent us into Iraq and folks were pissed off about that. You either were for the war and patriotic, or against it and treasonous. Or so it seemed. Social media barely existed back then.

Now we’re no different. We squabble about gun control and civil rights. I scratch my head and look at the calendar. Yep, 2015. And we haven’t evolved.

In fact, it’s worse. And I’m probably guilty of it too. Here’s how it works: You hear something awful happened. You post the news articles about it. Then a few days pass and the bloggers start writing their opinions and trying to get clicks on their site. There’s always a ‘this’ side and a ‘that’ side. You’re either on ‘this’ side, or you’re on ‘that’ side.

Something as straight forward as a church shooting in South Carolina has divided people. An evil act committed by a white person against black people, for the sole reason that they were black, and nothing more, is still bringing about argument. How is there any arguing? What is there to argue?!

Then there’s the Confederate Flag. Well, I guess by geography and ideology, I’m a Yankee. So what do I know about the Confederate Flag? When I was a kid, I just thought it’s what decorated the General Lee, the car driven by Bo and Luke Duke in the Dukes of Hazard. When I grew up, I knew it represented the South in the Civil War. But I didn’t put much thought into it.

Not until this week. The more and more I read about the history of that flag upsets me that it’s 2015, and states IN OUR UNITED States of America, still fly that flag high and are PROUD of it. What are you proud of?

The indentured servitude of a race of people that worked for free to for the success of the white plantation owner? Oh well, there were some nice plantation owners, and gosh darn, they housed and fed these people, so you know, how bad could it be? **bangs head against desk.

There’s this period of history called World War 2. Remember that? This guy Hitler invaded most of Europe and killed more than 6 million Jews in the attempt to rid this world of non blue-eyed white people (more or less). They flew a flag called a Swastika. If you think the Swastika and the Confederate flag are different, then you clearly haven’t read enough history.

Sorry. I got side tracked on my opinion of things. I realize that. I just feel an oppression of any race or religion is something that doesn’t need to be argued or defended. There’s right and there’s wrong, and that’s wrong.

So back to my original title of this blog post. Is anyone even listening anymore?

And it’s not even the Charleston tragedy that makes for debate. Let’s talk about Obamacare, gun control, immigration, gay marriage, transgenders, trophy hunting, vegan diets, police brutality….

How many things do you see in the news and your Facebook feed a day? How many come from headlines that are trying to make you read and feel something? What’s the source of the story?

You see the headline, click on the story and feel your blood rise. Your pulse quickens. It strikes to the very base of what you believe either for it or against it. When you share the article on your own news feed, are you telling people, “this is how I feel, take it or leave it”, or are you saying “I hope you read this and gain a new perspective”?

Everyone is talking, but no one is listening.

You can get people riled up over sunscreen. Yeah. Sunscreen. Mention you are wearing SPF at the beach and people are either for you because they have had a bout with a sketchy mole, or you get the folks telling you that you need Vitamin D and sunscreen is toxic. Want to mention you brought your kids to the doctor and had them vaccinated? Or forget that. It’s just going to start an argument that vaccines cause developmental delays or Autism. Big pharma can’t be trusted. I mean, come on. They’re just LETTING us die of cancer to make money. Everyone knows hemp and carrot juice cures cancer.

Climate change is fake. It’s Al Gore’s mission to take over the world with Leonardo DiCaprio and other Prius driving celebrities. Forget about category 5 hurricanes and drought. We don’t need to worry about Florida falling in the ocean in 100 years. Go on. Burn those fossil fuels. But wait, I drive a 12 year old minivan. Is that bad?

I don’t eat meat but I like Doritos. Am I contributing to the destruction of society by supporting Frito Lay?

I feel like anything I do or say is going to be argued against. And sure, I speak up and spout off about things I care about. And I’m sure the person arguing with me cares about their perspective too. We all have a story, we all have a point of view.

The kids and I met President Obama last year. Pretty cool. But not everyone thought it was cool. I get that. But hey, be happy for us because we were happy. I don’t care what you think of the guy (well, I kind of do. I would think you would respect his office and his position, but well… I’ve seen a lot of the opposite lately.) at least scroll on by, or just be polite. It’s one of those things we do as grown ups.

But if you disagree with something on Facebook, or anywhere for that matter, do you have to say anything really? What if you just ignored it? Conversation and discourse is great. But it’s only productive when it’s done with sensitivity, compassion, and intelligence. Lately, I’ve done a lot of scrolling!

You’re never going to bring a person to Jesus by banging them on the head with a Bible. Right? So switch it up. Think for the other side once in awhile.

Maybe this blog today isn’t making a lot of sense. Maybe it’s rambling and whiny. I guess I’m just tired. Tired of no one listening.

Americans like to complain. A lot.

If you were a spectator of the spectacle on Sunday called the Super Bowl then you saw lots of football, commercials, celebrities, and commentary. If you were on social media during that spectacle, you saw all those things plus everyone’s opinion about them.

Actually, if you weren’t on social media, I’m pretty sure good ol’ Uncle Bob was pretty vocal about his opinions as well. I’m 42 and can remember Super Bowls from about 1980. And social media didn’t exist and there was a lot of complaining and judgments made even then. Uncle Bob would scream at the TV and when the team he was rooting for messed up they were usually a bag of shitheads and didn’t deserve to play. Or something like that.

I was rooting for my Seahawks. Yes, it was a painful loss. I still feel the pang of dread thinking about that last play. Not only armchair quarterbacks all over America thought it was a crappy call to throw the ball instead of giving it to our number one running back of the game, and probably the league, Marshawn Lynch, but so did the commentators on NBC. Let’s just say the rookie from the Patriots, Butler, is feeling like going to Disneyland after intercepting Russell Wilson’s pass that ended the game for the Hawks and won the game for Brady and his Patriots.

Never mind ‘deflategate’ or pregame smack talk, media day fines, friendly celebrity rivalries, this was a well matched football game, both teams with a 12-4 record going in to this. An East meets West delight for fans of the game.

So in laymen’s terms, the guys in blue and green with the hawk on their helmets and the big guy who likes Skittles, were playing against the other guys in red white and blue with the guy that is married to the supermodel.

I enjoy football. I understand the game. I can usually see calls when the refs call them, or see them before they’re called. I get it. But I don’t play football. Never have. Okay that one time I broke my pinky when Owen threw the ball at me, doesn’t count. This includes the majority of Americans too. Sure, football is played in cul-de-sacs and high schools, pee wee leagues and colleges. But the ratio of actual pro football players to regular people? 1:500,000. I’m making that up. But I’m probably close.

The last minute of the game went down in a fury of tweets and guhs, and oohs, and WTFs? that were heard throughout the land. EVERYONE had an opinion. And everyone had their idea of who was to blame. Coaching, players, Obama, God, owners… good grief. The conspiracies were rampant. One even included that the coaching staff didn’t want to risk Marshawn Lynch win the game, get the MVP award and painfully have to face the media. Talk about LOL! For real people?

If you didn’t complain about the game, then let’s see, you probably got to complain about Katy Perry’s halftime performance. Because coming out on a giant mechanized puppet tiger operated by humans while she wore a flame dress singing  “I’ve got the eye of the tiger” is just sort of so-so. But not to worry because Lenny Kravits and Missy Elliott ‘saved’ the show by being able to perform with her.

Oh, yeah, Katy needs help performing. Never mind her sell out tours or 5 back to back hits in a row on her last album. She’s just a rookie. I mean, I was excited to see Lenny and Missy and like, “yay, more performers to enjoy!”  But apparently it’s never enough for some.

frugie blog America likes to complain

www.quickmeme.com

Then let’s talk about the commercials. There were some super sweet ones. Budweiser, they know what they’re doing plying our emotions to buy beer using horses and puppies.

Did anyone even notice the awesome Nationwide ad? No, not the one with the dead kid, the one with Mindy Kaling and Matt Damon? I loved it. But whatever, everyone decided to complain about the dead kid one. Personally, I was taken aback by the startling nature of it and thought maybe a different time frame would have been more appropriate, but hey, didn’t it get you thinking?

I don’t even remember what the ad was for with the fanny packs, but at least it wasn’t horrible with boobs and lingerie like Victoria’s Secret. Because our country doesn’t like boobs right? I mean, breast feed at home people. We like boobs. Just not in our face. Okay, in our face, but not on TV.

Because a Super Bowl ad to be successful can’t be too sexy, too sappy, too jarring or too confusing. It has to be just right. Because the American public expect it to be that way! Even McDonald’s giving out free french fries had some folks whining. I admit, I kind of poked some fun at that one on Twitter.

Now that all that sporting stuff is over, let’s go back to doing what we do best. Complain about vaccinations being a government conspiracy, gripe about folks putting coats on their kids in car seats, and wring our hands over GMO food. It’s what we do best.

It’s fun bashing things from the comfort of our Lazy Boy while eating chips and dips and wings.

The morning after has left me with a bitter pill. Not because my team didn’t win, but because America always seems to lose at these things.

Sigh. There’s always next year.

Frugie blog Americans like to complain. A lot.

 

Why the Idris Elba Bond discussion is one of the most ridiculous things ever

I haven’t been so ashamed of the modern human race as I have been recently. A number of things are considerably wrong in our society. But the latest-  the hubbub over if a black actor should play James Bond. Really? Is it 2015? Or should I put on my hoop skirt and hope Lincoln gets elected?

Not as many folks are as die hard Bond fans as THIS girl. Me. Daniel Craig is my guy. He’s my boo. Well, he doesn’t know about me, but he’s the best Bond ever. Okay, okay. Settle down Sean Connery fans and Roger Moore fans. I hear you.

Those older Bond movies are in a different class of Bond. It’s the cheesy 60s and 70s over the top Pussy Galore spy genre that only Bond can do. Those men made the smirky Bond of those decades a decadent tease that was fun to watch. Full of gold lame, Cold War villans, and disco technicolor.

But Craig’s Bond changed that. It’s grittier, modern, and a whole lot sexier. Bond is serious, pouty, more brooding. He also is more stunt driven. Daniel Craig is running along the top of moving trains, not on a treadmill in front of a green screen. Villains are not just Soviet empires but cyber tyrants, middle eastern terrorists, and more and more the landscape of actual evils we face today.

So who is this Idris Elba fellow and why do we care? Well, I know what you’re thinking, ‘Is this just a ploy to once again show your Emmy picture with Idris?” Maaaybe.

No actually. It’s because after the Sony hack, emails were revealed that Idris Elba would be considered for the next franchise of Bond movies after the last Daniel Craig movie, Spectre, is released later this year. Idris is from England, an Oscar nominated actor for his Nelson Mendela performance “Long Walk to Freedom” in 2014 and also an Emmy nominated actor for his work in Luther, the BBC crime drama. (Which I highly recommend binge-watching all 3 seasons on your laptop while doing absolutely nothing else because you will be addicted.)

And then the Internet exploded like it was 1964. First it was Douche Limbaugh ranting that Bond has always been white. “He’s a Scottsman that is White.” “Period.” White. Did you get that? Like Santa. FOX News likes their folks W H I T E.   Oh puhleeze. Get over yourself Rush! I wouldn’t care so much, only his show attracts 20 million listeners per week.

That’s weird. Because I’m pretty sure that there are black men living in Scotland. Oh, and guess what else? There’s black men who are working for M I 6. The British version of the CIA. Formerly M I 5- and now SIS.

But then he clarified that Bond is a fictional character so it wouldn’t really matter because, oh my gosh, HE’S NOT REAL. Bond is based on the character in the books by Ian Fleming. (Who also wrote Chitty Chitty Bang Bang.  I know, I know, my ridiculous knowledge of trivia is crazy.) Bond could be played by a Chinese British guy right? I mean, as long as he’s British.

And then Mr. Limbaugh went on to say that if folks want a ‘Black Bond’ then let’s just have George Clooney play Obama in his biopic. Oh wait- OBAMA IS A REAL PERSON! But let’s not waste anymore time on the fact that a high profiled radio host doesn’t know the difference between fiction and non-fiction.

Apparently, this discussion was going on a year ago that Idris was considered for Bond. There’s a Huff Post article where Elba expresses that he doesn’t want to play Bond if it’s going to be referred to as ‘Black Bond’. And I don’t blame him.

In typical Hollywood fashion, not one major blockbuster franchise or movie has ever featured a black actor in the lead; Star Wars, Harry Potter, Pirates of the Caribbean…

If you’re actually considering audience demographics, our male leads should be more diverse considering Hispanics make up for more than 25% of ticket buyers as just one example.

It’s a tough ceiling to crack. Hollywood likes like white men. How many times do you hear at award shows, “This has been a wonderful year for women in film.”  Yeah. That phrase bugs me too. Men dominate the film industry. And when good stuff for women comes up, everyone makes a big deal about it. At least we’ve stopped counting the number of black actors who have won awards. After Halle Berry won the Oscar for Best Actress, we have focused less on the ‘black winners’ when Lupita Nyong’o and Octavia Spencer won theirs. They were just ‘Oscar winning actresses’. Finally!

Do we have to label everything? The first Jewish actor to win, the first gay actor to win!  It’s as if we’re surprised when someone other than a white guy wins. Which is saying something.

I mean, come on people. We are so backwards as a country still. Even with Obama in office, a good percentage of this country isn’t comfortable with seeing a black man in a position of authority. Sorry, to say it. But it’s true. If the last few years have proven anything, it’s that we thought overt racism had died down a little after the civil rights movement, but it didn’t at all.  A lot of people are just as racist as we’ve always been.

Even women get the short end of the stick when it comes to progress in this great country. Kosovo, Liberia, Argentina and Denmark all have female presidents. The USA? Still waiting.

I’m pretty sure there are plenty of UK Bond fans that want their Bond white like the good old days. Heck, even Daniel Craig got flack because he was ‘too blond’ to play Bond. Tall dark and handsome apparently is the definition of 007. And white. Let’s not forget white.

Insert eye roll here.

With enough public attention, and whatever the Broccoli family decides, the original creators and owners of the Bond brand, we can have Bond be whoever we want him to be.

What makes a good Bond? He has rugged good looks, looks awesome in a tux, can kick major Bond villain ass, and knows how to seduce the ladies. And by those qualifications- Idris is perfect. #IdrisElbaforBond

Frugalista Blog The Next 007

Image via The Guardian