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Controversey alert!! I pissed someone off.

Fried chicken, gay marriage and lap bands.

The other day I posted this article from the Huff Post on my Facebook blog page Chick Fil A – Anti-Gay – Sure it’s a little slanted view of the story. It’s a blog post on the Huff Post. What do you expect?

I figured any of my gay friends and family of gay friends would want to know that if they eat at this restaurant, their money is going to groups that want to prevent them from being married. My best friend is a lesbian. Her and her wife have a better relationship than most of the straight couples I know. End of story. I support equal rights for gay people. ALL people, for that matter!

I am also a Christian. You can tell me the Bible doesn’t allow homosexuality. The Bible also doesn’t allow tattoos, mixed fibers in our garments, shell fish, women to speak in church, marry slaves, or males to cut their hair before a certain age. Do we still follow these rules? Not many of us, I’m sure. I also don’t go into a tent when I’m on the rag and burn a pigeon when my courses have stopped that I bring to my pastor. You get my point. I find the gay marriage in the bible argument futile. I think people are just uncomfortable with things different to them and find ways to hide behind rules and restrictions. Does everyone that lives under our government follow the Bible? No. Let’s be consistent here folks.

Do pedophiles get to marry? Adulterers? Rapists? The answer is yes.  Do I make myself clear?

This blog isn’t to persuade you to support gay marriage. I don’t want to push religion, politics or anything like that down someone’s throat, I’m not going to argue to change your mind, or whatever. It’s just like a dog chasing their tail. You’re not going to get anywhere. I’m giving you my perspective.

My point really, I guess, is manners. Good human decency. And also, understanding. I seriously think people have stopped using their brain cells. They just get heated up and start spewing senseless words to try to get their point across. It’s the closest thing I’ve come to living a Real Housewives of Orange County episode. Where the safety of the internet is used as a shield to ‘yell’ at people things you wouldn’t say at a cocktail party. Only on that show, they will yell at you at a cocktail party.

This is Vickie. Vickie screams a lot when she gets angry. She’ll yell at you for sure.

Immediately after posting this Huff Post article on my Facebook page, one particular woman asked if I’m telling people not to go to Chick Fil A because it supports a man and a woman being married. I said, ” if you don’t agree then that’s your prerogative. I however support marriage rights for all, if others on MY page do too, I thought this would be useful information for them. That is all.” (this is not my personal page, remember, so I don’t know this person.)

She then said,

“YOU are spreading hate waaaaaay more than chick-fil-a did.” (direct quotes copied and pasted from the comment thread on my Facebook page)

Me? Little ol’ me? Because I merely posted an article for people to form their OWN opinion, I’m now spreading hate. OKAYY then.

The part that really riled me up comes next:

A comment from a fellow blogger What I Had Really Meant to Say went something like this- “ever since my lap band, I can’t keep it down, so I don’t go there anymore (to Chick Fil A)”

To which my female commenter said, “you have a lapband and you eat fast food? can you not control yourself? Is that why you had to have surgery to stop eating so much? (you can be a bigoted ass, so can I)”

HMM? Well, lady- NEWSFLASH- Not on MY page you can’t! You disagree with me, fine. You attack someone’s personal revelation of a medical procedure? Whoa, you’ve just jumped the line to RUDE. DISRESPECTFUL. DISGRACEFUL.

Which I then responded with “I haven’t said anything hateful, I have expressed an opinion. Please don’t criticize or judge others on my page. MY opinion is okay because it’s MY page. Chick fil A can do what they want. And as a consumer, I can choose not to support them.”

She then continued to call us all bigots and I warned her to leave my page if she didn’t play nice. She, very much in a playground sort of way, said, “Fine, I’ve ‘unliked’ you already”. Which I guess is her way of not saving me a place at lunch in the cafeteria before recess. Boo hoo, remind me to be sad. (sarcasm folks)

So – here is my point-( sorry, a million words later!)

I think if she said something ENTIRELY different, I would’ve engaged her in a pleasant conversation. One which goes like,
“I’m sorry you feel this way. I didn’t see this article as accurate. I will support eating there anyway.”

To which I would have said, “Thank you for your understanding. We can agree to disagree.”

Well, okay, that’s kind of a Utopian dialogue, but do you see where I’m going with this? She went from 0 to 60 in like 2 seconds flat. She immediately started insulting me and other followers commenting. That is a no-no.

Part of me regrets even posting the article in the first place. I HATE conflict. But then most of me thought to myself, that I have to stand my ground. I will stand politely, with dignity and compassion. But I’m not going to be yelled at (through a key board) or insulted. I know that politics and religion are fodder for much controversy. But not speaking, being apathetic, is frightening to me.

I would like to clarify a few things.

The definition of bigot- Taken from Dictionary.com-

a person who is intolerant of any ideas other than his or her own, esp on religion, politics, or race

The definition of civil rights- Taken from Dictionary.com-

1.rights to personal liberty established by the 13th and 14th Amendments to the U.S. constitution and certain Congressional acts, especially as applied to an individual or a minority group.

2.the rights to full legal, social, and economic equality extended to blacks.

Let’s fill in the blanks to this sentence.
“I have no problem with __________________. I just don’t think it’s okay they get married or have the same rights as I do.” 
I’m not okay with this.
I’m a bigot because I support someone else to have the same rights as me? Weird. That wasn’t how I saw it.
Stuff like this always shakes me to my core. Makes me doubt myself. But thanks to lots of others coming to my defense, I felt good about all the positive that comes with my blogging and Facebook page posts.
Will I post things again that are controversial? Probably. Sometimes people can pick an issue with ANYTHING. Once I wrote a Facebook post about being careful out in the sun. An entire debate about SPF and Vitamin D ensued somewhat passionately. Really folks? Why so negative?
You may have noticed a badge on my site called “The Mom Pledge”. I took The Mom Pledge awhile back after reading another blogger discuss their troll, so I posted- I’m Afraid of Trolls. I haven’t even been doing this for a year folks. I don’t get paid. I don’t look for ‘fame’. It’s just me. Take it or leave it. And if you leave it, please don’t throw shit on your way out.
There are three things in life that are most important- to be kind, to be kind, and to be kind. ~Mother Theresa
Well, I hope I haven’t pissed you off too much.
Peace. Really. Peace.

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Comments

  1. I couldn’t agree more…and I love the quote from mother theresa. Please – let’s get back to kindness. xo

  2. This is wonderful. So true and I, like you, am so tired of the hatred. If you don’t have anything nice to say, then shut your damn mouth. Oh, that isn’t how it goes. If you don’t have anything nice to say, then don’t say anything at all. Love you girl!

  3. Tripping While Standing Still says:

    I just love you. We tend to forget too, that, the bible was written by man and we are all created in His image. Right?!
    You KNOW I support you. Xoxo

  4. You know, after I posted my comment, it was a few hours before I went back and looked at it again and I was truly shocked. My first thought was “oh hell no she didn’t” but I thought on it for a couple of more hours because I didn’t want to stir a pot that seemed like it was already boiling over. I think the part of her claiming to be a Christian after so viciously responding to me is what bothered me the most, but you were right when you told her that she would argue with anything that was said. So, I refrained. I can be very judgemental, it’s something that I continuously have to work on. What I am not, though, is intolerant or unaccepting of people who choose or have a different lifestyle from mine. Love is love. Doesn’t matter if it’s between men, women, men & women. It’s love. Period. It is mindblowing that we don’t allow them to have the same rights as everyone else. My hat’s off to you. Thank you for not backing down.

  5. AMEN! AMEN! and AMEN!!!
    I seem to tick people off on a daily basis and that’s just on my personal FB page! LOL And it’s always about MY opinions about politics and religion. People just can’t seem from commenting their hate filled ideas on my peace and love posts. LOL Ironic? Yes indeedy.

    • I KNOOOWWW!!! What is WITH these people and getting so much in a twist over this stuff? I’ll post something about helping the poor and then get just railroaded on how they work the system or some stupid shit like that! Grr. Nice to know someone understands.

      • OMGosh!! YES!!! I had that happen a couple of weeks ago. Recently it’s been about a political post and how I MUST be a socialist…. Good grief! I wish these people would find a hobby… Like skydiving without a parachute…

  6. Fuck Tancy. And I love Mother T.

  7. I agree with you 100%, and it especially ticks me off when people are hateful and intolerant “in the name of Christianity.” I’m not a particularly religious person, but I know enough about it that I hope Jesus does come back soon so I can hear what he has to say about people preaching hate and then hiding behind his name. (Cue hate mail to me, since I mentioned Jesus…) Like you said about your post about being cautious in the sun, it’s getting to the point where you can’t even come out as anti-pedophile without backlash from somebody.

  8. I get it! Not sure if you read about my break-up with my friend via FB comments. That is how it started. Me being open-minded, her being too set in her ways. Fun stuff happens over in FB land.

    p.s. I’m glad you’re not a bigot.

  9. I generally find the people who call others names are the ones who need to take a serious look in the mirror. Thanks for being part of The Mom Pledge Community and helping spread kindness!

  10. Good work!! So many people “unlike” me too… Who cares? They are small-minded idiots!

    • Thanks Lady G. I know, I know, I shouldn’t care, but I’m a pleaser, so sometimes it hurts. But it was nice to feel the support, so in the end, I didn’t care at all.

  11. Amy Lomnicky says:

    I love you for all your views. I don’t think I have.found anything that I disagree with u on. If there ever is something I disagree about I am not going to spew hatred and verbal vomit towards you. I am very proud of you for standing your ground. Your mom should be proud too.

  12. People who hate so want to turn that hate speech argument around, it just ends up looking dumb.

  13. Tiff Cruskie says:

    Well said, as always. I am proud of you for standing your ground. I couldn’t agree more! Xoxo

  14. Just want you to know that I have a great deal of admiration and respect for everything you’ve written here in your post.

    “We can agree to disagree.” is not a utopian dialogue, but a lost art. I know this, because I’m old enough to remember when people still could actually have a conversation, in which they expressed conflicting views, and even got into arguments over their conflicting views, but then they agreed to disagree, shook hands, and they remained friends.

    But today, so much of the time, instead of “We can agree to disagree.” it’s “If you don’t believe in everything I believe, then you are my sworn enemy, and I HATE you!!!”

    This is not only stupid and ridiculous, it’s also pathetic and very sad…

  15. You are fabulous! I hate that you said in your post that you almost regret posting the article! You should not regret standing for what you believe and spreading information that you find important and while it doesn’t affect me personally one way or another it clearly is important to you and many of your friends, fans, and followers. That being said, it isn’t hard to not read it or read it and move on. People are sooooooo angry about things these days! It is one thing to have a strong opinion and debate over a topic but people spew pure hatred and mud sling and name call and it’s sad and tragic. Keep doing what you’re doing and keep standing up for what you believe because that’s all that matters. The upside to being in charge of the internet fight is that you can get rid of the person at any time 😉

  16. I love your blog and have agreed with everything I have read so far. That woman was out of control. Unfortunately most extremists are like her and feel the need to insult when you do not share their “ideals.” Love you and no you are not fat 🙂

  17. How dare you discuss topics that are meaningful and provoke thought? Who do you think you are to have an opinion and to evolve as a human being, a female at that? I’ll be damned if I ever question my own beliefs or allow anybody to bad talk what I believe in, no matter how plausible their position may be. Nope, I will dig in deeper and become an immovable, uncorruptible individual. I will take everything I read and see literally and not use the good sense that my God gave me because that would be too much like going against Him… *all spoken in a very sarcastic tone*

    Yeah, you gotta love people these days. So narrow, so shallow. You hit it on the head earlier in your post when you mentioned how people are just uncomfortable with things, thoughts, beliefs and perceptions, that are different from their own. Rather becoming tolerant of others views–which I thought was a tenet of religious doctrine–they become hateful and downright rude to others. I don’t think (insert your messiah) would approve of how people are acting these days, but then again they wouldn’t judge others because they know that will come at the end of their mortal existence (if that’s what a person chooses to believe of course).

    Great stuff though. Keep em coming. Reminds me of an earlier post on my blog about beliefs and things. I might just revisit that topic very soon…. Have a great day!!!

  18. Sis, I’m glad you posted. I’m supposed to be the loudmouth, but you’ve got a bigger pot to stir and you’re doing a good job of it.

    I find it ironic when it’s those who want to be exclusionary are the ones who call the other side “haters.” Really? How is that?

  19. Dude. You. Freakin. ROCK. lIKE, REALLY. OMG. Agree, agree, agree. (I can’t even form a freakin’ sentence!)

  20. The most wonderful think about our country is that we can express our opinions without the fear of (government) persecution. So express on, lady! I feel sorry for people who live in such a negative place that they can’t read an opinion from someone’s heart without regurgitating hateful sentiments. What’s the saying? Fear and love can’t coexist? Being afraid of something takes away your power and ability to love (and your ability to act like an adult and respectfully debate). Sigh. Thanks for the intelligence and grace with which you communicate–I appreciate it 🙂 –fireandrabbits