All summer long you’ve savored the long evenings. The twilight time that comes around 9pm. You relish in the comfortable nights and don’t want to come indoors just because the sun is going down. Maybe it’s chilly out, or balmy even, you’re hanging out with your neighbors and even the neighbor’s kids. You’ve opened a nice Cabernet. Or you’ve cracked open a PBR. No difference. It’s all good. The sun has set and you think, “hey, let’s light a fire in the fire pit.” It will create ambiance. Warmth. A cozy light.
It will also create a horrible campfire smell right in the middle of my bedroom and living room. And I hate it.
I live in the burbs. Our homes are pretty dang close together. You can reach out of Emma’s window and touch the chimney of our neighbor’s house. The fence line is about 4 feet from each side of each house. Everyone’s backyards are right up against each other. There’s a row of four houses on one side, and four houses on the other side. When you’re upstairs you can look down and see into everyone’s backyard. I’m not being a creeper here. I’m just relating to you how close we are.
Unless the air is completely still and you live in a vacuum- I will smell your fucking smoke in every room in my house and my hair will smell like I’ve spent all night at a goddamn camp fire! This is because if it’s a hot summer’s day, I will have my windows open at night to let in the cool night air to get the house to a more liveable temperature and not the 84 degrees sauna it is during daylight. We don’t have A/C so this is how we do things, the old fashioned way. If my windows are open at night letting the cool air in, then I’m letting in your stinky ass smoke air too.
You’re thinking, ‘geeze Rebecca, just ask your neighbors not to burn in their firepit.’
What? Are you kidding? Then I’d be the jack ass neighbor spoiling their fun. No, I think the better thing to do is passive aggressively blog about it and hope they read and then stop.
I understand the appeal of these things. I get why folks want them. But people- most of you don’t live in the woods with acres of land between you and your nearest neighbor. Most of you live in the ‘burbs like me. Or near me. So please, for the sake of my respiratory system- stop burning.
I will make a new rule. The edict will be that fire pits are only allowed in the midst of October when I have shut my windows for good. When my house is at a constant 72 degrees and I don’t open windows at night to save myself from upper lip sweat.
THEN, you can burn in your God forsaken fire pit. And invite me over for a glass of wine.
Fire pit? Is your friend or foe?