There’s two things you should know by now; I was part of the faculty for a blogging conference called BlogU in Maryland last week, and, Emma had surgery.
The surgery happened first. Emma has been suffering from ovarian cysts and some of the worst pain imaginable. After rounds and rounds with doctors, it was determined she would need surgery. I can’t even begin to describe the feeling of when you bring your child in to surgery and the anesthesiologist is going over risk factors with you. Blerg. But she was a trooper.
She told me that she had the nurses and doctors in giggles when she was ready to go under and asked if her ‘lady bits’ were showing. Classic Emma.
Basically they removed a cyst and some awful endometriosis tissue that was causing her pain and we found out she has a banana shaped ovary pretty much under her rib cage. It’s all so weird and well, weird. I will probably blog more about it. Because it’s kind of a big fucking deal. And also I think women problems need attention so stay tuned.
With that said- I had a lot on my mind these last few days.
So with Emma’s blessing, I hopped on a plane as planned, to Maryland for BlogU to meet up with the ladies of the Internet that live in my computer.
A couple things that I feel I need to elaborate on; 1) people look a lot different in real life than their thumbnails on a computer screen. I spent the majority of my time saying things like, “who are you? oh, you are shorter/taller than I thought you’d be”. 2) Friendships on the Internet are real.
We converged on the lovely campus of Notre Dame of Maryland University, near downtown Baltimore. The weather was uncharacteristically NOT humid and pit sweaty for the East Coast this time of year.
I continued to get texts from Emma of the nature, “I feel so bloated, I want to fart.”
And me replying, “Are you taking your stool softeners and your pain meds?”
I owe the world to my mom and my friend Kristi who stopped by to check on Emma, make her food and basically check to see that the house was still standing and not piled high with dishes in the sink.
Arriving on campus that Friday was, let me tell you, SO MUCH FUN!
I got to see and hug my roomie Kathy from the blog Kissing the Frog.
She is just as sweet in person as she is in her words on the screen.
Then there’s getting to meet Janel of the blog, 649.133, Girls, the Care and Raising of.
She scoured the campus for a ‘pop’. (She’s from Michigan.) Soda, cola, soft drink. She couldn’t find any ‘pop’. Not sure why there wasn’t a vending machine handy. But with her efforts only slightly more successful than Geraldo revealing Al Capone’s vault, I was on the hunt for a soy latte. Well, folks, we’re not in Kansas anymore. And espresso isn’t on every corner like at home in Seattle.
What the what? This was difficult for me. It rendered me less capable of being any help at all really. When I put the resident helper campus student on a hunt for lattes, it was clear I had a problem. I didn’t actually make her physically walk to find me a latte. I just had her make a few phone calls.
Let’s take a moment for an incoming text from Emma, “Mom. I still haven’t pooped. This is awful. I need to poop.”
Me, “Have some prunes. Are you drinking the Miralax?”
Emma, “I’m not eating prunes, gross.”
(a few hours later)
Emma, “Oh wait! I had a poop baby, it’s a boy!” (I will spare you the picture of the smallest turd that she sent me.)
Me, “That baby needs to be bigger. I’m hoping for triplets next time.”
Back to BlogU—-
Friday night the faculty arranged a book signing and an Open Mic session for bloggers to read their works. I have to say, seeing so many fine ladies I love in one room, was a SQUEE-worthy moment.
Here’s my pictures to prove it:
I never slept in a dorm in college. I only had my own apartment with a real bed and box spring. I had never slept on a dorm mattress before. Not bad for the two nights I was there. Not great either. Although, I was so tired, I probably would have slept on the lawn.
This is me Saturday morning with the fabulous Kerry of HouseTalkN. I’m pretending to smile since I’ve not had a real cup of tea, or a soy latte. Life is hard people. The struggle is real.
The day was filled with fabulous sessions, smart people, funny and phenomenal women. But no soy lattes. No really. It’s okay. I’m fine.
I had to save all my strength for the NickMom Retro Prom. I knew I would be wearing acetate, scrunched hair and frosty eyeshadow while busting some serious moves to Milli Vanilli, Bananarama and Madonna.
Imagine your prom (mine was in the 80s, well make that 1990, but kinda sorta the 80s) and take away all the adolescent hang-ups and self conscious social barriers (at least for me anyway) and you have the best dance party of all time. I mean it. Retro dresses, big poofy lace and neon fingerless gloves, tiaras and suntan hose, ass bows and crimped hair. It was pure gold.
I will tell this part of the story in pictures.
I have fifty bajillion more photos from the dance floor that are grainy and of lots of sweaty shiny ladies having a ball. And for the record, I was stone cold sober. I was drinking tea! Yes, tea.
OH, wait. This text just in on Saturday night from Emma, “I POOOOOPED! Oh my GOD make it stop, now I have diarrhea.”
I learned so much at BlogU. From meeting friends, making new friends, getting a shit-ton of information for my blog, meeting Huffington Post and NickMom people. Oh boy.
If you missed it this year, don’t worry. A little birdy told me there’s already a date set for BlogU 15. See y’all in Maryland next June!