Follow on Bloglovin>

Is anyone even listening anymore?

Frugalista Blog Is Anyone Even Listening Anymore?

photo from Google images via brandisre-designed.blogspot

I love social media. I do. I admit. I am on my Instagram all the time. I’m checking out what people are commenting on my Facebook page, I definitely check my comments on my YouTube channel often! But it’s pretty self serving. I want to see what people are saying to me, or about me. Did they read this post or that? Did they click ‘like’ on my picture?

Then I scroll through Facebook and the news several times a day. It’s all rather depressing. I thought the country was pretty divided back in ’04 when Bush first sent us into Iraq and folks were pissed off about that. You either were for the war and patriotic, or against it and treasonous. Or so it seemed. Social media barely existed back then.

Now we’re no different. We squabble about gun control and civil rights. I scratch my head and look at the calendar. Yep, 2015. And we haven’t evolved.

In fact, it’s worse. And I’m probably guilty of it too. Here’s how it works: You hear something awful happened. You post the news articles about it. Then a few days pass and the bloggers start writing their opinions and trying to get clicks on their site. There’s always a ‘this’ side and a ‘that’ side. You’re either on ‘this’ side, or you’re on ‘that’ side.

Something as straight forward as a church shooting in South Carolina has divided people. An evil act committed by a white person against black people, for the sole reason that they were black, and nothing more, is still bringing about argument. How is there any arguing? What is there to argue?!

Then there’s the Confederate Flag. Well, I guess by geography and ideology, I’m a Yankee. So what do I know about the Confederate Flag? When I was a kid, I just thought it’s what decorated the General Lee, the car driven by Bo and Luke Duke in the Dukes of Hazard. When I grew up, I knew it represented the South in the Civil War. But I didn’t put much thought into it.

Not until this week. The more and more I read about the history of that flag upsets me that it’s 2015, and states IN OUR UNITED States of America, still fly that flag high and are PROUD of it. What are you proud of?

The indentured servitude of a race of people that worked for free to for the success of the white plantation owner? Oh well, there were some nice plantation owners, and gosh darn, they housed and fed these people, so you know, how bad could it be? **bangs head against desk.

There’s this period of history called World War 2. Remember that? This guy Hitler invaded most of Europe and killed more than 6 million Jews in the attempt to rid this world of non blue-eyed white people (more or less). They flew a flag called a Swastika. If you think the Swastika and the Confederate flag are different, then you clearly haven’t read enough history.

Sorry. I got side tracked on my opinion of things. I realize that. I just feel an oppression of any race or religion is something that doesn’t need to be argued or defended. There’s right and there’s wrong, and that’s wrong.

So back to my original title of this blog post. Is anyone even listening anymore?

And it’s not even the Charleston tragedy that makes for debate. Let’s talk about Obamacare, gun control, immigration, gay marriage, transgenders, trophy hunting, vegan diets, police brutality….

How many things do you see in the news and your Facebook feed a day? How many come from headlines that are trying to make you read and feel something? What’s the source of the story?

You see the headline, click on the story and feel your blood rise. Your pulse quickens. It strikes to the very base of what you believe either for it or against it. When you share the article on your own news feed, are you telling people, “this is how I feel, take it or leave it”, or are you saying “I hope you read this and gain a new perspective”?

Everyone is talking, but no one is listening.

You can get people riled up over sunscreen. Yeah. Sunscreen. Mention you are wearing SPF at the beach and people are either for you because they have had a bout with a sketchy mole, or you get the folks telling you that you need Vitamin D and sunscreen is toxic. Want to mention you brought your kids to the doctor and had them vaccinated? Or forget that. It’s just going to start an argument that vaccines cause developmental delays or Autism. Big pharma can’t be trusted. I mean, come on. They’re just LETTING us die of cancer to make money. Everyone knows hemp and carrot juice cures cancer.

Climate change is fake. It’s Al Gore’s mission to take over the world with Leonardo DiCaprio and other Prius driving celebrities. Forget about category 5 hurricanes and drought. We don’t need to worry about Florida falling in the ocean in 100 years. Go on. Burn those fossil fuels. But wait, I drive a 12 year old minivan. Is that bad?

I don’t eat meat but I like Doritos. Am I contributing to the destruction of society by supporting Frito Lay?

I feel like anything I do or say is going to be argued against. And sure, I speak up and spout off about things I care about. And I’m sure the person arguing with me cares about their perspective too. We all have a story, we all have a point of view.

The kids and I met President Obama last year. Pretty cool. But not everyone thought it was cool. I get that. But hey, be happy for us because we were happy. I don’t care what you think of the guy (well, I kind of do. I would think you would respect his office and his position, but well… I’ve seen a lot of the opposite lately.) at least scroll on by, or just be polite. It’s one of those things we do as grown ups.

But if you disagree with something on Facebook, or anywhere for that matter, do you have to say anything really? What if you just ignored it? Conversation and discourse is great. But it’s only productive when it’s done with sensitivity, compassion, and intelligence. Lately, I’ve done a lot of scrolling!

You’re never going to bring a person to Jesus by banging them on the head with a Bible. Right? So switch it up. Think for the other side once in awhile.

Maybe this blog today isn’t making a lot of sense. Maybe it’s rambling and whiny. I guess I’m just tired. Tired of no one listening.

Beauty Box 5 June Box- This might be the best one yet!

Frugalista Blog Beauty Box 5 June review

Hey folks,

I needed to tell you about this month’s Beauty Box 5. Because it’s So. Freaking. Awesome!

For me, what makes a great subscription box is generous samples, and a mix of full size products as well as stuff that I’m interested in, like nail polish and eyeshadow!

To review, Beauty Box 5 is a subscription box service sending you cosmetic goodies to your door each month. You can pay monthly at $12 or $8.25 per month if you pay for the year in advance.

The first product that caught my eye was the Nails Inc. nail polish in this adorable pink shade. Nails Inc is a brand available at Sephora and this is some good stuff. The bottle included is full-size and even though I have at least 100 polishes (shut up, you know you’re jealous!) I don’t have a color like this one. #NailsInc

Then when I saw the eyeshadow palette staring me in the face, I got really excited! What is this brand? LOL? I’ve never heard of it. But this was another full size diddy. It’s the Rotational Eye Shadow palette in So Rosemantic. I won’t lie- these six colors are bright and really pink- but look lots of fun. They’re located out of France and Australia. How cool is that? #LOLCosmetics

The Herbal Essences body wash and the Simple Skincare cleansing water are great to try. I’m not sure if the body wash is as orgasmic as the shampoos like in the commercials. But I’m willing to find out. Also, cleansing water is the new beauty trend and you need to try it!

I think I actually squealed when I saw the deluxe sample of Urban Decay Cosmetics Perversion Mascara! I love this mascara. It makes your lashes such a deep black without being clumpy. #UrbanDecayCosmetics

There was also a $20 gift voucher for Gorge Hair to order their haircare products. That’s an awesome bonus!

Beauty Box 5 offers you to shop in their online boutique, you have chances to win free product and credit by sharing on social media, and there’s always something new to discover.

Hey- I’m a beauty addict and they keep surprising me- so that’s impressive!

Let me know if you check it out.

Frugalista Blog Beauty Box 5 June

My kids are growing up and it’s freaking me out!

I’m sitting here in my room, typing on my lap top. My bedroom window is cracked open to let in the fresh air of this June rain we’re having. It’s nice. Refreshing.

But also, about a half mile away is the high school. And it’s the last day of school, class just let out and I can hear the cars honking, the tires squealing, and the shouts of ‘no more teacher’s dirty looks’. Well, not that last part. But amongst all that hoopla is Emma. Her last day as a freshman. She’s off to spend the day with friends and I texted her to be careful and watch out for the crazy drivers because kids are stupid. And kids are stupid when they are goofing off especially.

So I just get to sit here and fret over my kids being out in the big wide world. Which isn’t even the real BIG WIDE WORLD yet like the kids who have graduated this year and what their parents must be feeling! This is what keeps big pharma in business- the Xanax that parents like me will be popping like PEZ squares to keep from literally pulling out my eyebrows one hair at a time.

Owen is thrilled to have his first year of middle school under his belt and tucked away for good. Not because he enjoyed it, but that means he’s down to 2 more years in that place and he can’t wait to get out. Face it. Middle school sucks. He’s doing well, and it’s not horrible, but it’s still- well, middle school.

Middle school is only fun in your 40s when you’re at a themed dance for other moms and bloggers. But the real middle school is just shit. What is with the administration being so freaking uptight? I guess when you’re dealing with 1,200 11-14 year olds, it makes you kind of a tight ass.  You breathe wrong and the Vice Principal hands out a detention.

But high school has been the opposite. Emma has flourished as a freshman and has enjoyed more autonomy, responsibility and new friends than ever before in a school. She’s been lucky that her teachers ‘get’ her. During her health class when they were in the Sex Ed unit talking about STD’s, there were wooden penises on each desk to be used for a demonstration on proper condom application. Emma picks up her wooden penis and shouts to the teacher, ‘Hey! Look at my woody!”

Thankfully, the teacher burst into laughter and said that in all her years, she’s surprised that Emma was the first one to make that joke. Emma was just all, ‘How can you NOT make that joke?”

Also- just the idea of kids her age becoming sexually active- I mean. No. Just no. But I’d be dumb to pretend that’s not the case, so that’s why we talk about stuff all the time. Because OHMYGOSHNOTMYBABY!

She’s overcome so much in the way with her health issues; maintained a great GPA and has signed up to be the football team’s water girl/ team manager in the fall. What the hell you ask? Same here.

She knows little about football, isn’t athletic, but apparently is a hoot and a half filling the giant water jug and taking it to the field for the players. And the coaches like her and think she’s responsible. So hey, good for her.

Emma will also be taking Driver’s Ed this summer. Driver’s Ed. She’ll be maneuvering a car in traffic. Among other cars. And drivers. I mean, that’s how it works, I know. But still. OHMYGOSHDRIVERSED!!!!

SEX ED AND DRIVER’S ED!!! My baby!! I need to get a grip.

Owen is happy to be a 7th grader. He keeps counting the days to when he’s in high school. And then eventually both of them will be on their own and won’t need me for everything (thank GOD) but I will feel useless and it will force me in to some hobby or crisis that will cause me to wall paper our house in hideous floral patterns and install track lighting. Maybe even wear elastic waist pants.

I guess I have to just sit back and enjoy the bloom that emerges from the flower. It’s so freaking hard though!

Everyone knows that the best thing is for them to leave the nest, but I just don’t want them to fly too far.

I’ll stop making metaphorical comparisons to nature and my children growing up.

I was kind of hoping that as my kids got older I would like them less. You know, the teen years being so awful and all, it would just make me glad that they move out and go off to college. But it’s the opposite that’s true. They’re pretty cool though. We have fun together and I love them even more now than when they were born. Dang it!

My kids are growing up and it's freaking me out


Break Up With Your Makeup- 2015 edition

Frugalista Blog BreakupwMakeupup

I have exciting news! Once again, I am teaming up with Galderma and their #BreakUpWMakeup contest! Because I know that we can use makeup as a curtain to hide behind, but we need to let our true selves shine through. Right? Come on! Join me. Last year they sent me to the Emmys after that contest, and this year, the prize is a trip to New York! You know you want to win it. I’ve never been to New York. (Cue break screeching sound) I know! Broadway dreams and everything, and this girl has never set foot in the Big Apple. I need to fix that.

You know I suffer (and I say ‘suffer’ mildly, it really isn’t that horrible in the scope of life and things, but it’s such a pain in the ass) from Rosacea. Rosacea is basically like pimples on your face that don’t go away. It can be a cluster of red bumps or a flushed complexion. Maybe it includes broken capillaries and really red skin throughout your whole face. Or maybe like me, it’s a smattering of bumps that usually come out when I use products that irritate my skin, I’m in the sun too long, or I have been drinking alcohol.

I remember the days of high school and college when I wouldn’t think of stepping out of my house without makeup. The shame was too enormous! My pale eyelashes, my barely-there brows, and oh, the giant zits on my chin! Good grief. I even worked in cosmetics in my early 20s and it was so difficult to come to terms with the fact that my skin was not behaving! I had the best of products at my disposal and I was still a mess.

Even now in my 40s, I deal with ‘bad skin’ days. Now you can add wrinkles, sagging, and giant Louis Vuitton bags under my eyes that go with the ‘bad skin’ days. Or, Bad Face days.

But as a teen, you might think that having acne or Rosacea, even Eczema can be world shattering and kill a social life or your Instagram feed! Don’t despair!  You are not defined by your complexion. And take comfort in knowing there are products that can help.

A routine of proper cleansing, and the right moisturizers as well as acne products and medications can really help.

Galderma is behind a prescription Rosacea medication as well as several products like Cetaphil that are formulated to be gentle on the skin, whether you suffer from acne, Rosacea or Eczema.

Follow the graphic below to enter for a chance to win a goody basket of fine products and a chance to win a trip to the New York Film Festival in September!

Also, there are helpful links and tips for getting that complexion so that you can be comfortable in your own skin.

Here’s a fun thing too-

Post a selfie on Instagram, Twitter or Facebook (by June 25, 2015) with the hashtag- #BreakUpWMakeup as well as loading your selfie to the contest including 100 words on how you stay confident on ‘bad skin days’.

Because folks notice your smile, your laugh, and your kindness, more than they notice your pores!

Kudos to my 15 year old who is in the ‘won’t leave the house without makeup’ phase of her life to be brave to post this!

This post is sponsored by Galderma. All opinions and words are my own.

Emma 15 and me, 42 sans makeup!

Emma 15 and me, 42 sans makeup!



Good luck! And I can’t wait to see your no makeup selfies!

Saved by the Bell- make that, Saved by the BlogU

My husband travels infrequently for business. I would say a half dozen times a year. And probably 2 or 3 of those trips might be for a conference. When he comes home he’s always soooo tired. I mean, how hard is it? You sleep in a nice hotel, get meals out and stand around and talk to people. Big deal. And he complains how his feet hurt. But he’s a guy and he wears flat shoes. How can his feet hurt?

Hold the phone. I just came back from BlogU, a blogging conference. I’m exhausted. Instead of some convention center or hotel ballroom, our conference was at a college campus. The beautiful Notre Dame of Maryland. It’s such a small campus (I went to the University of Washington. That place is huge. Any campus after that seems small to me.) Talking to about 150 other blogger/writer/creative talent forces takes a lot from a person. It’s exhausting! Dancing at the #MiddleSchoolAwkward NickMom dance that Saturday night also is exhausting. And I WORE FLAT SHOES!

I came home and I was all, “McSweetie, I’m so sorry I never acknowledge your fatigue after a conference. Talking to people is tiring! Also, dancing 2 hours to 80s hits with a banana clip in my hair is exhausting too. I bet you don’t do that at your conferences.”  Nope. You can bet your Spanx, he does not.

Dancing in a banana clip? I will tell you more about that later. Trust me. It’s GOOD.

I’ve been blogging for about 4 years now. Sometimes that seems like an eternity. Sometimes I think how far I’ve come. Sometimes, I look at other people’s success and feel sorry that I haven’t come further. But you know what? That’s what is so cool about BlogU. The bloggers who attend BlogU come from all genres, social media reaches, and experience levels. Some have just begun. Some have had that VIRAL post, some are New York Times best selling authors, and some are media mogul powerhouses. What’s great about the community of writers that this weekend brings together, is everyone is accessible, everyone has a story, everyone has a purpose.

BlogU’s creator Stephanie of Binkies and Briefcases started this conference and builds this conference, literally from her garage! But what makes this so special? What makes it so awesome that folks like NickMom like sponsoring themed dances and Scary Mommy’s creator, Jill Smokler comes to give the keynote? The special sauce is in the people. And that there’s a spirit at BlogU. It’s going to sound corny as hell, but there is a spirit of trust and camaraderie at this conference unlike any other conference, that wants to see it’s attendees soar. That the next Jen Mann can be in the crowd.

But even writing that- ‘the next Jen Mann’ seems wrong. Because the individuality of each blogger is what makes them special. There’s only one Sass Mouth, or Real Life Parenting, or Quirky Chrissy. And they will get their success and blogger notoriety how they are meant to. Best selling author? Talk show host? Reality TV star? Who knows!

When you think of the endless sea of bloggers, you think how many more does there really need to be? And you even think about your own blog, ‘why bother?’ But then it only takes one person to say they read something of yours and it really related to them. Then you smack yourself in the forehead and say, “yep! That’s why I blog.”

It’s stories. And stories need to be told. Thanks BlogU for lighting that fire, or blowing on the coals to stoke them a little more. I have lots of stories to tell!

So I’m just gonna leave my #MiddleSchoolAwkward dance pics right here-

Left- photo booth sponsored by That's What She Said, Top R- Jen Mann, and Harmony Hobbs in the back! Bottom R- Kerry HouseTalkN and Nikki Moms Who Drink and Swear

Left- photo booth sponsored by That’s What She Said, Top R- Jen Mann, and Harmony Hobbs in the back! Bottom R- Kerry HouseTalkN and Nikki Moms Who Drink and Swear



Top right - Mommy Shorts, Bottom L- Nicole Shaw- Bottom R- Me- 2nd place WINNER #MiddleSchoolAwkward

Top right – Mommy Shorts, Bottom L- Nicole Shaw- Bottom R- Me- 2nd place WINNER #MiddleSchoolAwkward

Ellen, Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms, Susan, Divine Secrets of a Domestic Diva, and ME

Ellen, Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms, Susan, Divine Secrets of a Domestic Diva, and ME

Yep. This is how I dance. Elaine from Seinfeld just comes out. Notice the fanny pack, popped collar and sky high bangs?

Yep. This is how I dance. Elaine from Seinfeld just comes out. Notice the fanny pack, popped collar and sky high bangs?


Here it is. The best picture of all Middle School Awkward 80s themed shots. Taken by the fabulous Susan of Divine Secrets of a Domestic Diva, it looks right out of a Nickelodeon TV show. Yes- I’m ‘you can’t touch this’.

Saved by the Bell at BlogU15

Saved by the Bell
at BlogU15


If that’s not enough- there’s this. I think I made my kids proud. Thank you Kim from Let Me Start By Saying, for being my dance soul sister. Thank you Anna Bardsley for capturing the video. Click on the date below and it will take you to awesomeness. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to rub ointment on my aching feet. Something I didn’t need to do in 1985.


Posted by Anne Bardsley on Saturday, June 6, 2015

American Sniper DVD giveaway and help Wounded Warriors (giveaway closed)

With the Memorial Day weekend approaching, many of us have a family member or friend we remember and honor that gave the ultimate sacrifice.

We honor James’ cousin, Patrick, who was killed in Iraq back in 2004. Thousands of families will remember their loved ones lost in service this weekend, and every day.

For those who return from battle scarred and maimed, life isn’t anything like it was before. This is why we need more programs and services like the Wounded Warrior Project.

The mission of the Wounded Warrior Project is to empower and honor wounded warriors. Its purpose is to raise awareness for wounded service members, provide assistance and programs. By 2017 the Wounded Warrior Project will provide $96 million in benefit entitlements for warriors and their families.

I’m participating with Warner Bros. studios and Grace Hill Media to give away an American Sniper DVD/Blue-Ray combo pack to one lucky winner.

American Sniper DVD giveaway

With the release of American Sniper on DVD this week, Warner Bros. Home Entertainment will donate a portion of the proceeds across physical and digital sales to Wounded Warrior Project® (WWP). One dollar of each purchase will be donated up to $1,000,000 from April 21, 2015 through December 31, 2015, void in Alabama, Hawaii, Illinois, Massachusetts, Mississippi and South Carolina. To get involved and learn more, visit

Enter my giveaway by sharing this post and commenting with your favorite movie title. The winner will be notified on Tuesday, May 26, 2015. Open to US Residents only, must be 18 years of age.

Enjoy your Memorial Day weekend and God bless our troops!

Luxury makeup at discount prices

frugie blog luxury makeup discount we make beauty

Don’t let my blog name fool you. I might be frugal, but I love fancy. I dip into high end brands from time to time. Of course, when they’re on sale! Or when you just can’t find anything close to what it is you want, and you decide to shell out the cash for the goods. They say that you get what you pay for.

I was doing homework for my YouTube channel. Also known as, shopping for product, when I came across a website that offers cosmetic brands that are at discount prices.

Say what?

Yes! This is the marriage of two wonderful things! High end cosmetics AND a discount!!

It’s called We Make Beauty. And they carry brands such as Guerlain, Dior, Clarins and Sisley and many others. There’s fragrance, skin care, cosmetics, and hair care.  You can even find men’s products.

The best way to navigate their site is to go in without any expectations and just see what they have. The selection is wide but for instance not every foundation comes in every shade. You have to do a little bit of picking and choosing.

I have been a huge fan of Dior and Guerlain products for awhile. But they are pricey. I went on the We Make Beauty site and was thrilled to find my favorite Dior eyeshadow 5 color palettes as well as some Guerlain foundations. The savings was around 10 to 20% off on different items. I also had a coupon code so I saved even more!

If you’re a complete makeup addict like me- then check this out! Other perks include free shipping on orders over $50 and a rewards program.

I made a video with my purchases so you can check out what I got and how I put them to work!

Also, because We Make Beauty is so nice, they are giving you guys a promotion code that is valid the rest of the year! Use “Frugalista2015″ to get 15% off all your purchases.

This could really become addicting!

Visit and use code Frugalista2015



Why I deserve the greatest Mother’s Day of all. And you do too.

I know, I know. You’ve heard it before. We (moms) think were goddesses and fucking saints for pushing watermelons out of our easy bake ovens. And if you had a C-section- power to you. Because stitches through five layers of tissue makes any guy whining over a vasectomy look like the pansy ass douche he is.

Where was I? Why am I so angry? I don’t know. I mean, maybe it’s the PTSD from the pre-epidural catheter they gave me in the labor and delivery room when I went hypertonic trying to birth Emma. Hypertonic- abnormal muscle tone. Sadly, my over active uterus did not leave me with 6 pack abs.

Maybe it’s the bloody nipples I got a week after she was born because I spent those 7 days with her latching on improperly while trying to breast feed. Then cried when I was pumping milk sitting on the toilet in our cramped little bathroom because I felt like a failure.

Yeah. Moms unite! Bitches get shit done. And you know what? We get birthing done.

When I gave birth to Emma, there was a story that week in the news of some natural disaster in Africa ( I can’t remember because part of the brain that holds memory and reason comes out with the after birth. It’s true.)  that caused a woman to give birth in a tree. A GODDAMN TREE! By herself. Her and her baby were there for a good day or so before the rescue choppers got her. Did she worry about saving the placenta later because her MOPS group wanted to make smoothies out of it and then paint pretty pictures on canvases while drinking wine? NO! She did what she had to do.

And gosh darn, I was laboring in a comfortable first world hospital bed and I thought of her. HER. And she was my hero. But also, it kind of scared the shit out of me because the way things were going with Emma, I would have died in that tree and she with me. So yay, modern conveniences!

So I’m sorry if my wish for this Mother’s day is to be treated like royalty by the subjects of the house. But dude! I earned it. It’s been 15 years since all that happened. But still.

Not that you want to know this, but one of the first times I got up to go to the bathroom after I had Owen, I thought I had birthed a second child. I had been lying down in the bed for several hours. It was so scary, like, I paged the doctor  and all and told her that a pile of left over something and I think it had teeth and whatnot had just smooshed out of my cooch and did they need to weigh it or take it for a biopsy, because that twin baby looked like I was bleeding to death. It was frightening.

She laughed, sweetly, and said, you know, most moms forget that their vagina is a long tunnel that fills up with all kinds of good stuff after the baby is born. It was just waiting to come out. Sometimes the muscles contract and it doesn’t until you get up to go to the bathroom. And then I was all, “Like a JELL-O mold!” And she’s all, “YES! You’re fine!”

Oh phew! I thought I hemorrhaged. And so does every other woman who just pushed an 8 pound bag of potatoes with a 90th percentile head out of a hole the size of a golf ball.

Let’s not forget the old days when our mothers and their mothers had babies. When they gave them enemas, shaved their pubes, and knocked them out with drugs. You know. Because it’s easier for the doctor. The male doctor. Oh boo on him for dealing with female pubic hairs. Thank GOD when they changed that. Even though now everyone’s got a Brazilian, so who cares. And I’m all for drugs, but I’d rather NOT wake up two days later to find out if I actually had the baby or not.

Ugh. Men.

“Waa. Let me whine some more because my wife snores when she sleeps and insists on sleeping with a body pillow we’ve named Phil. She never wants to do it anymore. WAAA.”

Someone call the whambulance, because I’m sick and tired of men complaining. I’m sick and tired of men complaining about their vasectomies and that their wife doesn’t want to have sex. Oh, and then newsflash. She’s not going to want to have sex with you after because, well. You’ve seen the Hindenburg disaster. Who wants to fly after that? We need some time. And by time, I mean at least, at LEAST 6 months post partum. And lube. Lots and lots of lube. And probably booze. And the promise of a nap afterwards without a baby attached to my body.

And again, sorry for the graphic nature of this- but if you had hemorrhoids, you don’t want your man down in your crotchal region with anything other than some nice cotton or microfiber breathable underpants. Stuff changes. It’s not the same.

Did you have an episiotomy? Or how about a 4th degree tear? Do the words ‘transvaginal mesh’ send you into flashbacks of trauma similar to a combat veteran’s? You didn’t know what a ‘taint was before, but now you do.

Yeah. So lay off dudes. We deserve pie, and croissants. We should have long leisurely baths alone without people asking to climb in the tub with us. That goes for little kids AND husbands. STAHP. If I wanted a bath with you, I would have said so.

Plus sex in bathwater leads to UTIs and nobody got time for that.

Happy Mother’s day mamas! May you get all the worldly goods you deserve. And peace.


Frugalista Blog in the Pee Alone Trilogy

Buy the books on Amazon!

Mother’s Day Gift Ideas

It’s that time fellas, daughters, sons- mom needs a gift. Sure, you can go buy her a box of chocolates at Rite-Aid that you picked up on your way home from work, be sure to include the inflatable foot bath. Or you can get something a little more awesomer and then she’ll know you appreciate all the work she does washing your socks and wiping the toilet seat.

These items are my own personal favorites. I have experienced these products for myself or found out about them and want them in my life. In the end, if you want to make a macaroni necklace with a hand print and call it good- I’m fine with that too.

Jord Wood Watches-

It’s a watch made out of wood. Yep. And it’s lightweight, comfortable and completely handsome for both a Mother’s day gift, anniversary or birthday gift. You want something that’s treasured, smart and wears beautifully? It’s a Jord watch.

When my Jord watch came and I unwrapped it, McSweetie said, “oh, I’m jealous.”  The best part- they sized it for me before they sent it!

Jord Wood Watches Sully Timepiece in Cherry

Jord Wood Watch Sully Timepiece in Cherry

I recommend this for Father’s day too- especially for the guy who has everything. Why not something really unique?

What about the woman who likes to be pampered? Hmm, well if you have a hard to please matriarch in your family, how about Spoil?

You’ve seen subscription boxes all over the place. You can get meals, you can get pet supplies, makeup, period boxes (yes, that’s right) and snacks delivered every month. But, what about a gift box for Mother’s day delivered with exquisite items beautifully tucked in a package and sent to your mom like she is the Duchess Cate Middleton, herself? Yeah.  It’s called Spoil. If you need a fabulous gift for a different occasion, they have that too. Plus they have a discount for my readers! Enter “FRUGIE” at checkout.

Spoil Box for Mother's Day

Spoil Box for Mother’s Day


In the interest of doing for others, isn’t that what our moms always taught us? I want to share the company Women for Women International. If it is too much for your budget to sponsor a ‘sister’ each month, there’s an opportunity to purchase much needed supplies for a mother in Rwanda, the Congo and Afghanistan to name a few. If your own mom has enough tchotchkes and scarves or jewelry but has a calling to do something good and better in this world- think of what a baking basket or seeds could do for a woman providing an income for her family in a developing nation. From goats to seed packets, you can shop for a mother across the world and share it in honor of your own mother. She’ll be so proud.

Bakery Basket on

Bakery Basket on


Vegetable seeds for 30 acres

Vegetable seeds for 30 acres













And of course, for the sassy and funny mom in your life, who wouldn’t want the anthology I Still Just Want To Pee Alone?


Buy her all three! I Just Want To Pee Alone (a NYT best seller!), I Just Want To Be Alone, and I Still Just Want To Pee Alone.

Look how pretty! Thanks for the awesome graphic

Look how pretty!
Thanks for the awesome graphic

And then actually give mom a few hours peace!


Disclaimer: The opinions in this post are all mine and I wasn’t paid for any of it.



When the fear of being wrong keeps us from doing what’s right

I’m not an expert on psychology or people’s motivations. I didn’t major in sociology or anthropology or any other subject at school that would make me know the inside of the human mind’s functions. But I’m a parent. And trying to teach kids from knowing right from wrong is pretty much what we live and breathe by, college degree in the subject or not!

One of those lessons happened to Owen in second grade. I remember it so well because I think it applies to most adults these days. Politicians caught in a scandal. Police officer questioned for misconduct. A spouse suspected of adultery.

When you do something wrong, the fear of the consequences makes for greater motivation than the interest of doing what’s right.

Owen is a good kid. He is one who listens, follows the rules, and really doesn’t like to get in trouble. But he’s human, so he does goof off. And occasionally he can manage to go too far. But he never got in trouble at school. Unlike the three detentions Emma got in 1st grade. I know, right? He’s my golden boy.

Okay, so he comes to me one day stressed and in tears. I ask him what’s wrong. He doesn’t want to tell me at first. His guilty conscience is heavy and he has a hard time facing me when he knows he’s done something that might disappoint me. But he also knows he needs help. So the need for help prevails and he bursts into tears and tells me the whole story.

He was stressed over some hoodlum in his class extorting him for money and toys!

This kid, Joey was getting a dollar here and a dollar there, not to mention some prized Legos out of the deal. I asked Owen what on earth he did that gives Joey so much power over him!

Owen said that one time at lunch in the cafeteria, he spit his food out to be funny. Some of it flew off and landed by Joey and he threatened to report Owen to the lunch monitor. Owen freaked out! He didn’t want to get in trouble so he said to Joey he would do anything to keep him from telling.

The first thing Joey extorted was a Lego key chain that Owen had kept on his backpack zipper. A friend gave it to him as a sympathy present after a kitten we had for a few weeks died suddenly. Then came Joey asking for a dollar for Owen to bring him the next day. Then two dollars another day.

Finally the toll of Owen giving up his money, and not to mention that he missed his key chain, put him over the edge.

He came clean with his story to me and I told him how we would handle it.

I pointed out that what was the source of his anguish was his first offense in spitting at lunch. He wanted to avoid the wrath of the lunchroom monitor and a possible detention, so he panicked and jumped to damage control.

I parted his sweet little blond hairs from his blue eyes and held his face in my hand. I told him that if he got in trouble at lunch, I would understand that we make mistakes from time to time. And that even though it wouldn’t have been much fun, his punishment would have been completed so that he could move on with this life. But instead he handed power over to Joey. And that power was his own guilty conscience.

When I said that in the morning we would have a face to face with Mrs. Peterson, his teacher, and tell her everything, he felt better. I told him that if there was a disciplinary action that still needed to be carried out over his behavior, he would accept it. And that we would tell the teacher what Joey was doing so that she can address that issue with him so he doesn’t do it to other kids too. Because a real friend doesn’t make you feel bad and take things that are yours.

The relief Owen felt was palpable. I knew that he understood that his first course of action was a rookie mistake, led on by panic and fear. And now he felt he had the strength and confidence to face the music.

We went to the teacher. Mrs. Peterson understood exactly what Owen was telling her about Joey. She said that he’s done something like that before. She told Owen to point out the key chain and tell her exactly how much money he gave Joey. She would have a conference with him and he would get his items back. As for the lunch behavior, the statute of limitations for spitting food out seemed to only have a short time span. Owen knew not to do anything like that again. But if he did slip up, to face his consequences.

Isn’t it funny how we can use a simple elementary school cafeteria extortion scenario to play out life’s moral code? How much better the world would be if people could own their wrong doing up front instead of creating more and more mess to cover it up?

I actually think that Owen won’t forget this lesson. Even though it happened almost 6 years ago. He remembers Joey and to steer clear of him even now in middle school. I’ve told Owen that getting punished by a teacher or administrator for something he did wrong doesn’t make me happy. But the disappointment is greater from me if he were to try and cover up his errors with more wrong doing. I’m more proud of his ownership of his actions, than whether or not he gets detention.

Fear of being wrong blog by Frugalista Blog