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Meet SAM, your new best friend

Once upon a time I was able to jump on a trampoline and keep my bladder from completely giving up.

And once upon a time I was able to sneeze freely without clenching into a vice grip kegel. Ahem.

But once upon a time my boobs didn’t droop past my belly button. Okay, enough with the ‘once upon a time’, this isn’t a fairy tale. Instead, it’s a public service announcement of sorts to inform you of SAM. Super Absorbent Material.

Poise Microliners with SAM by Frugalista Blog #poise #LBL #SAM

SAM is a new product within the Poise brand of Microliners.

Like a thin undetectable panty liner, this will catch the leaks that tinkle, I mean trickle, when you laugh or sneeze.

1 in 3 women experience LBL (light bladder leakage) and I’m guessing that 99% of those women have had children! It doesn’t matter if you are young or old, it can happen to any of us.

What you don’t want is it to happen when you’re wearing the wrong outfit, or if you are sitting on your neighbor’s couch. Say what?

Yeah.

It happened to me once at a party. And it wasn’t a couch, but a chair to be honest with you. I laughed so hard I peed my pants. Well, I leaked on my pants. I was so afraid that I might have seeped through my pants and onto the seat! I didn’t move for hours. Well, maybe an hour. It was miserable, embarrassing and downright tragic.

I was thinking,’does this happen to everyone?’ Well, it happens to 33.3% of us! But I bet it happens more and those statistics are skewed because there are women out there not revealing their LBL!

Okay. As if you need ANOTHER testimony from me as to why I could use the SAM from Poise, here is a short tale of female super powers if I ever had them.

The other day I was driving. And I sneezed. And I almost peed my pants. But I was able to flex in to a kegel. (Look it up if you don’t know what a kegel is. And if you don’t, where have you been hiding?) Do you realize what the potential dangers are of all these events WHILE DRIVING that I just described?

Handling three simultaneous acts of heroism is hard. And I couldn’t prevent the sneeze, nor could I really prevent the fact that I was about to pee my pants. But had I been wearing a Poise Microliner, I wouldn’t have had to worry about the kegel.

And last but not least- the trampoline. If you have every been to one of those trampoline birthday party places with your kids, you know what I’m talking about.

You really want to jump. I MEAN, come on! It looks like so much fun. There’s that really uber fit mom over there in her Lulu Lemon running capris and she looks like she is having fun. So you go for it. Hey, what’s some jumping on the trampoline when you’re 41?

WHOA! What just happened? Does gravity really do that where you bladder hits your knees and you need to tuck and roll to prevent serious puddling beneath you?

ZOMG! Need I say more?

Listen, if any of this sounds at all familiar, then go get yourself the free sample here, of Poise Micro liners with the SAM!

You don’t have to tell anyone you did. OR, you can be a dear and tell all your friends. Go on, YOU get a free Micro liner, and YOU get a free Micro liner, And YOU….

Okay, you get the idea.

And just so you know, Poise paid me to talk about peeing my pants. They’re special that way.

Meet Sam, Your New Best Friend by Frugalista Blog #LBL #SAM #Poise

12 life lessons from Siona

Today would have been Siona’s 10th birthday. She died before her 7th birthday of Leukemia.

She was our neighbor’s daughter. Our friend, the little girl who wanted to pet the dogs that walked by and ride her pink bike. She was sick from the time she was 4 years old.

4 year-olds shouldn’t have to wear feeding tubes. It’s not fair.

But what lives on in her legacy are her Life Lessons we call them. Such wisdom from a 5 year old. Siona’s older brother Sohil, is a good example on living these life lessons.

He keeps his little sister’s spirit in his heart and makes sure others feel that spirit too.

He posted on Instagram for today his friends to wear their ‘Siona shirts’. The ones they’ve worn each year for the Big Climb in Seattle to raise money for the American Leukemia Society.

I wanted to share with you today Siona’s Life Lessons. You can read her story here that her mom wrote.

Carry on about your day and look for butterflies. Siona loved butterflies. Happy Birthday Siona.

Siona's Life Lessons on Frugalista Blog

 

How to get your children to listen to you in public

How to get your children to listent to you in public by Frugalista Blog

My friends. This is easy. If no one has taught you the value of how to humiliate your children in public, then you’re doing it wrong. **

You see, I have a very high tolerance for my own humiliation. I’m pretty much fair game. Have you seen my Spanx post? Right.

Once upon a time, my children and I were at the mall.

We went to the Lego store to look around.

We spent a lot of time looking, putting together some pieces, sitting on those tiny stools they put at those tables, checking out the million dollar Millennium Falcon. I mean, don’t get me wrong. Legos are cool and Star Wars Legos are even cooler, but I was thirsty. And hungry.

Honestly being hungry and thirsty in a Lego store isn’t fun. There’s not even any lip gloss or shoes to distract me. So when it’s lunch time and mom is ready to go, it’s go time.

The children did that thing where when I say, “Okay kids, let’s go get lunch!” and I’m super positive and all happy parent on them, they are like, “Just a sec mom.”

Uh huh. I know ‘Just a sec’. It’s the classic stall. My husband does the ‘Just a sec’ when I tell him to take out the garbage. And now the children have mastered the ‘Just a sec’ as well.

Tick tock. Seconds are going by and my stomach is rumbling.

“Okay my little kidlets, this mama hen is hungry and it’s time to feed the chicks. Let’s go.”

“Wait mom, this is so cool, did you see this?”

“Yes, I did honey. Diagon Alley is awesome when it’s made from 15,000 pieces. But there’s a burrito in the food court calling my name. Let’s GO.”

“Sure mom…”

And then it’s like they turned into turtles. The Slowskies are now my son and daughter. Seriously? Like how cool can bricks of plastic be?!

“Hey kids, if you don’t come when I count to 5, I won’t let you have ice cream later.”

Them- “….”

“Hey kids, if you don’t come in the next two seconds I’m just going to start dancing right here in the mall.”

“MO’OM, Right. You’re just kidding. Just a sec.”

You did not ‘Just a sec’ me a second time.

“Okay here goes. OOOh, I love this song. Reminds me of high school. How do you do the Running Man again?”

I proceed to do some version of the Running Man. I’m outside the Lego store and the kids can see me through the glass wall.

“Hey kids, I’ll stop as soon as you join me.”

Kids come running.

“Mom that was SO EMBARRASSING!! How could you do that? Oh my gosh, like people were watching!”

“And from now on, you come when I call and I won’t break out the Cabbage Patch. Deal?”

“Deal.”

Seriously. It’s worked ever since. Which is good, because my Cabbage Patch is worse than my Running Man.

 

**No children were harmed in the sharing of this blog

 

Summer Drugstore Makeup Favorites

It’s officially summer. Well, okay June 21st is a few weeks away, but with Memorial Day weekend upon us, it’s the unofficial official start of summer. White shoes people. You can wear white now.

 

Now you need to head to the drug store, find the longwear makeup that will stick to you like fly paper and head to the beach.

You want your makeup to wear like a tattoo. Think of the hot and sweaty days ahead. All that boob sweat. Okay, I can’t help you with that.

But upper lip sweat? I can help you with that.

I picked the following based on the fact that they are 1) a good value 2) wear all day 3) stay true to color 4) perform as well as some of their higher priced counterparts

 

Cover Girl Insta Glam Foundation

Revlon Colorstay Blemish Concealer

L’Oreal Infallible Eyeshadow

Maybelline 24 Hour Eyeshadow

Jane Cosmetics Multi-Colored Cheek Powder

L’Oreal Colour Riche Extraordinare Lip Color

Covergirl Clump Crusher Mascara By Lashblast

Jane Cosmetics Water-Resistant Eye Liner


Summer drugstore makeup favorites by Frugalista Blog

 

When your 5th grader goes to camp

Sending your 5th grader to camp by Frugalista Blog

When your 11 year old goes to 5th grade camp and you miss him, he might not miss you as much as you thought he would. Which is probably a good thing. Fly little birdie fly. (sniff, sniff)

Owen just finished 48 hours away from home at 5th grade camp. This was his first camp-out without his dad. He’s done Cub Scouts before but always with his dad. And dad always had a cell phone. So I would text and check updates, looking for Facebook pictures or statuses.

But this time, no dad. No cell phones. It felt weird.

I completely trusted him in the care of his teacher and the other adults there. But I wondered if he was missing me. Did he let tears fall on his pillow at night when the cabin was dark and he heard every little creak and hum? When he could hear other campers snoring and he felt far from home and alone did he muffle his cries in his pillow? Okay, so that was me when I was 11 at camp. Not that I’m trying to impress my experiences on him, but I did have a certain empathy for what he might be going through.

Camp is an exhilarating and exhausting rite of passage for kids this age. A bonding experience with classmates that if you’re lucky, you’ll have camp memories 30 years later with those friends and you form Facebook groups.

I even remember my camp songs, the Smokey The Bear award, the film canister survival kit I made, the weird ‘hamburger surprise’ dinner that was served that first night.

I remember crying while saying good bye to the friends I made from other schools. We wrote letters to each other for probably the following 6 months and then lost touch.

Owen said there were no tears shed. He said the food was awful but they still cleared their plates.

They measured their ‘ort’ or leftovers, for their table. Only take what you’re going to eat. I love camp. Sharing the value of limiting waste! He said by the last meal his table had zero ort.

He shared the songs his cabin sang when they had to line up for meal times. A different one each time, they would line up, sing their song or chant, and the cabin with the best, got to go in the dining hall first. A sample of one of them to the tune of Selena Gomez’s, “If You’re Ready Come and Get It”- “Lunch is ready, come and get it, nanana na na na.” He said they won pretty much every time.

They performed a skit and won the trophy for best skit. Or something like that.

He told me about a tumble he took off of some tight rope. That didn’t sit too well with me. But hey, he’s fine. It’s camp, not Navy Seals. Or Meatballs.

I was disappointed to hear there was no Square Dancing. How do you not have Square Dancing? We had Square Dancing. What is camp without the humiliation and exhilaration of having to touch a boy’s hand? Hoping he won’t know that yours are sweaty.

O Johnny O Johnny O was my favorite. I can do it for you if you’d like. Maybe a YouTube video?

I have to at least teach Owen. Do si do-ing and going to your ‘corner girl’, THAT is what camp is!

So Owen got off the bus looking exhausted but happy. He smelled of camp fire and hair gel. He asked for Starbucks. Then he went home, changed his clothes, grabbed his iPhone and was out the door to a friend’s house!

Wait just a minute.

Where was my chit chat over tea and scones? I needed to hear every detail!

Hmm. It wasn’t going to happen at that moment. I needed to let him go and let him run off his antsy feeling of connecting with the friends that didn’t go to camp.

Eventually, he shared a whole bunch over a game of 2 square in the driveway with me. Trust me, I will keep drawing camp details out of him as the days go on. I’m guessing there will be several rounds of Foosball, 2 square, and hoops to get him to talk.

I’m okay with that.

 

“It’s Not Fair!” a guest post over at In The Powder Room

I’m featured over at In The Powder Room today.

It’s funny. It’s about penises.

Go over and read it. http://www.inthepowderroom.com/parenting-penis-envy/

It's Not Fair- A post about penis envy by Frugalista Blog

Beauty Box 5 Subscription Box- May

May day! May day! This isn’t an emergency, it’s a happy dance for the warmer weather! Can you believe May is almost over? How is THAT possible?

But before we start freaking out about 2014 being almost half way done, let’s jump in to this month’s Beauty Box 5 package of goodies!

Beauty Box 5 May review by Frugalista Blog

 

The smart folks at Beauty Box 5 know that the temperatures are rising and with that comes sweaty pits. Well, mine anyway. Also, shiny complexions. Again. Me. I have dry skin but as soon as my Weather Bug app tells me the day will see temps past 70 degrees, I get ‘luminous’.

 

Let’s begin:

Ban Total Refresh Cooling Body Cloths – Woo! I love these. They are like cloth wipes but with antiperspirant in them. I rubbed them on my pits and my feet. They feel like velvet and cool. I will be keeping these in my purse for when I feel stinky. Trust me. I will.

MaskerAide Hydrating Facial Sheet Mask – Since there’s only one of these, I haven’t tried it yet. I’m saving it for a fancy occasion when I need to look fresh and perky. Also they are biodegradable and that makes me happy. Each mask contains Argan oil and vegan-friendly hydrating ingredients. Put this on after a day at the beach when you feel all dried up and pruney.

H2O Plus Aqualibrium Marine Cleansing Gel – An oil-free cleanser that uses sea salt and marine botanicals to wash off all that sunscreen you wear every day. I like the smell of this.

Harvey Prince Hello – I don’t always like fragrance samples that come in sample boxes, but I’m somewhat in love with this one. Citrusy with flowery tones like plumeria, it’s so sunny. A perfect happy fragrance to wear in the warmer months. Heat activates fragrance, so just a spritz is all you need this time of year.

CATTIVA Precisione Eye Liner – This retractable eye liner says it’s waterproof. So I did my test where I swatch it on the back of my hand and try to rub it off. It wouldn’t come off. So then I washed my hands several times. It stayed put. I’m guessing that when they say waterproof, they mean waterproof.

And there you have it. If you haven’t subscribed already, what are you waiting for?

And if you have- tell me your faves, I want to hear!

 

Why I would be a terrible performance artist

Why I'd be a terrible performance artist by Frugalista Blog

Particularly performance art that involves my vagina. Yeah. What is up with the performance artists lately so focused on their vag’s?

First there was the woman who gave birth in a museum. Why not? When I gave birth in the hospital I probably would have had the janitor and the cafeteria lady come through and could have given a rat’s ass who saw my hoo ha.

Then there’s the woman who knit with yarn that she stuffed up her lady canal and used it as a spindle of sorts. She did this for 28 days so she was sure to coat the wool yarn with her menses blood because you know, vaginas are cool and we should celebrate womanhood. Have a happy period. A wooly, happy period.

And THEN, there’s this woman, who squeezed paint filled eggs from her snatchorooni to drop on a canvas all in the name of art. In public. Right in the middle of the city square. Beware these videos are probably not suitable for work. But you knew that anyway.

So I decided to come up with a list of reasons why I would suck at performance art that involved my privates. Here goes.

  1. My privates are private.
  2. My vagina has been used for babies’ heads with a circumference of  35 centimeters, a 5 centimeter paint egg would rattle around in there and fall out before I got to the canvas.
  3. I haven’t been practicing my kegels lately.
  4. There’s lots of things I think about my vagina, art isn’t one of them.
  5. I would probably fart.
  6. I might pee a little.
  7. What if the fart was more than a fart?
  8. I get nervous gas when I perform. Hence, see above.
  9. I throw out finger paint  artwork from my kids, why in the hell would I want a vagina painting?
  10. People might laugh and then I’d feel awkward which might inhibit the performance.
  11. I have abnormally large labia that would get in the way. (Totally kidding!)
  12. The lady garden is a little over grown, it might be hard to see the art. (Hmm, not kidding.)

 

 

CoverGirl’s newest INSTAGLAM collection- Hit or Miss?

Cover Girl InstaGlam Review by Frugalista Blog

I was recently watching one of my favorite YouTube beauty guru’s review of the latest CoverGirl products.

I had to try them myself. So off I went to Walgreen’s and stocked up.

This recent collection is a big campaign with CoverGirl cover girl, Katy Perry. I definitely think it is geared for a young audience since it claims to keep you looking fabulous and photo ready.

Think “selfie”.  If you’re going to Instagram yourself, might as well look Instaglam. Get it?

Okay.

I tried 3 products. Well, two were the same. I wasn’t sure of the foundation color, whether it was going to be too orangey or too light. So I bought 120 and 205.

The 120 is too light. And don’t be fooled. It looks dark in the tube. The 205 is perfect for my light/medium complexion.

I swatched a little on my cheek in the car, and was not pleased.

But then, I applied it at home over a primer, and I couldn’t believe how well it covered and blended. It didn’t settle in my pores or lines. It seemed to have a smooth velvety finish.

The powder was the other product I tried. It claims to be a foundation powder. I didn’t use it alone as foundation, but instead used it to set the liquid foundation. I tried the light/medium #205 in this product and it seemed perfect.

The compact seems a little chintsy plastic. But hey- it’s less than $10. I liked the way it set the makeup and even the touch-ups during the day did not seem cakey or chalky.

Other items in the collection I didn’t try are the concealer and the lip gloss.

The products I did try, I give a thumbs up. All claim to be oil free and suitable for sensitive skin.

I had a hard time finding these online. But they were at my local Walgreens. Not sure if they’ve hit Target or Ulta stores yet.

Let me know if you want me to review any other products out there!

Have fun!

 

My (hypothetical) Memoirs

If I were to write my story, my memoirs, what would the title be?

Not as profound as someone that climbed Mt. Everest or moving as a survivor of something horrific.

But I think it would still be relatable.

Possibilities are:

 

Potential Memoir Titles by Frugalista Blog

 

 

 

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