Of all things in this world, my pets are the least peevish. So I don’t know where the phrase ‘pet peeve’ came from. I do know that in Harry Potter, the books, not the movies, Peeves is an annoying ghost playing mischief in the halls of Hogwarts.
I’m good at complaining so I thought I would make a list.
These things really get in my craw:
1. Telling me to be 15 minutes early to an appointment. Oh yeah? Why not YOU be ready 15 minutes early for ME? That’s just stupid. You’re lucky I show up on time to begin with and now you want me early? Pffft. Yeah right.
2. The disclaimer on milk that says, “does not contain RBST from cows treated with hormones, not that there’s a significant difference anyway”. Okay, that’s not the actual quote, but it translates to something like this: “Our milk doesn’t have estrogen in it, but if it did, the FDA says you wouldn’t notice a difference.” Oh okay then. Except my six year old has boobs.
3. When you say ‘thank you’ to someone and their response is ‘no problem’. What happened to ‘you’re welcome’? When I shop at your store, you hand me my receipt, I say ‘Thank you’, you SHOULD NOT say, ‘no problem’. It’s like, ‘yeah, I got commission on this sale and all, but it’s no problem that I had to interrupt texting my boyfriend or that I would rather be getting an eyebrow wax now instead of helping you try on shoes.’ Drives me bonkers.
4. Someone cutting their toenails. Period. Eww. Don’t want to ever hear that noise. Not from my husband. Not even the place that does pedicures. Hate the sound. Hate it.
5. The kiosks at the mall with the sales people that jump out at you and want to flat iron your hair. I like my hair just fine the way it is and stop chasing me with anti-frizz serum.
6. The ‘hygiene’ liners on swim suit bottoms in the stores. What is up with that? Because that flimsy sticker on the crotch is going to protect me from all things herpes/yeast infection. News flash- I’m going to wash them anyway before I wear them AND I wear underwear in the store when trying them on in the first place. If anyone relies on that sticker, you’ve got another thing coming.
7. Donald Trump.
8. Camel Toe. Look it up if you don’t know what I”m talking about.
9. The people in the parking lot at my kids’ schools that idle their cars for 30 minutes while parked in the primo pick up spot waiting for the bell to ring. If that is you, I’d like to ask why you literally enjoy burning fuel needlessly? Is it so cheap you wish you could use it up faster? You don’t like polar bears? If you’re cold, it’s called wear a coat. It doesn’t get below 40 degrees in these parts. And if it does, grow a pair and deal.
10. Those squeaky shoes Asian people put on their babies. I don’t have anything against Asians, just those squeaky shoes. I don’t think I’ve ever seen a white kid in them. And why in THE hell do they have to put them on their kids’ feet in the mall? JesusMaryandJoseph, can’t I shop in peace?