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Reason To Live Friday #26 – Still trying to find happy

There’s a lot of folks out there that are sad. Sometimes I’m one of them. But my sadness comes and goes. I’ll watch news coverage of a young child’s funeral in Connecticut and burst into tears. I’ll look at my children and think how lucky I am that they are in front of me, and burst into tears. I’m lucky enough to be distracted away from my sadness. Unlike some people’s sadness that’s like a smudge that is stained on their skin. It will need to be washed again and again to start to fade.

I can be gripped with anxiety that makes me think irrational thoughts about my children’s safety. I can start to panic and feel my skin get that cold prickly feeling.

But I can also try to remember that if I don’t get my happy back, I can fall down a rabbit hole of never ending sadness.

When something awful happens to someone else, it brings up our feelings of grief and despair. I know people who have lost a loved one tragically, by their own hand even. I know people missing loved ones from cancer. Little loved ones. I worry about them at times like this. The holidays are bad enough. But to have constant images of grief and tragedy. Motorcades and balloon memorials.

Maybe they feel there is no point for them to go on living. That they too could just leave this earth, and things would go on, and the pain would be over. But that would just cause more pain for others.

Pain and sadness can be contagious. They can be a viscous cycle that doesn’t yield. The dark can keep creeping until the light has been snuffed out permanently.

Don’t let that happen.

We all need to find our happy. We feel guilty laughing. We feel guilty enjoying Christmas movies and cookies and presents. We feel guilty getting to have loved ones to spend these times with.

We need to stop feeling guilty. We deserve to be happy. We deserve to share the happy. Spreading kindness randomly. Sharing joy with others gives them more reason to share it to someone else.

And then it’s okay to be sad again too sometimes. Feelings are good. To feel pain, means that you will feel relief eventually. To feel grief, you will feel joy soon. See the pain as a window, a perspective. Tell yourself, I will look out this window, but only a short time. And then I will close it to open the door of happy once more.

Thankfully, children seem to have the best recipe for finding their happy. If we let them, they seem to flourish in their own lost thoughts. Thank heavens in times like this, their little brains can have the attention span of a flea.

Owen only gets sad if I remind him of sad things. His heart is naturally happy. He has given me plenty to laugh at this week in the area of farts, penis love and boogers. Yes, the Owen trifecta.

At a shop in the mall with all kinds of weird, crazy things like squirrel underpants, and bacon flavored gum, he sees a magnet that reads, I <3 my Penis.  He whispers to me so no one else can hear, “I do love my penis actually. It’s there for me when I’m bored.” Dear heavens son, only in the privacy of your bedroom please. He assures me, only in privacy.

Also this week, in a parking lot, Emma somehow was compelled by the power of song, and decided to belt out at the top of her lungs, “Santa Claus is Coming to Town”. I admit, I laughed and tinkled. I had to be careful not to literally pee my pants. She was skipping and singing, and on key too, as a matter of fact. Who says (almost) teenagers are self conscious?

I laughed heartily at the recent Saturday Night Live episode with Martin Short. I’m sure it was a little bit funny, but I seem to laugh harder when I desperately need it.

I’ll leave you the link to my favorite skit and you can check it out for your amusement. You’re a Rat Bastard Charlie Brown.

I heard the song on the radio “The Most Wonderful Time of the Year”, and thought it was Will Ferrell singing. But it was actually Robert Goulet. Which is funny because Will Ferrell impersonates Robert Goulet singing that song and apparently he does a good job. Or I’m just hard of hearing.

Just remember that there will always be light. We have to focus on that. On the giggles and the belly laughs. The sunshine and the snowflakes. That there is a tomorrow.

Peace to all of you my friends. Be safe. And shine your light.

 

Comments

  1. Will Ferrell is a better singer than Robert Goulet, and he’s a much funnier comedian too! So forget about Robert Goulet and always remember Will Ferrell instead… And just like beisbol, farts, penis love and boogers have also been very good to me… Ockey? Don’t know Ockey… But beisbol, farts, penis love and boogers have been very good to me. (hoping you remember Garret Morris of 1970s SNL fame… lol – if not, I’m older than dirt and you’re not! lol)

    But seriously, you touched on a lot of feelings that I can relate to, since you conveyed your feelings so well with your writing here.

    Happy Non Mayan Apocalypse Day! Which is a very good reason to live on this fine Friday, because it’s NOT the end of the world as we know it, and I feel fine! :-)

  2. Great job here and totally echoed many, if not most of the sentiments I have been feeling lately. By the way, I wasn’t as lucky, I keep hearing the original version of The Most Wonderful Time of the YEar with Andy Williams, lol!! SEriously, thanks for the smile this morning :)

  3. Christopher Tipper says:

    Merry Christmas little sister.

    Very true. Very funny. Wish I’d seen Emma do that! Thanks for helping us fee less guilty about enjoying ourselves with everything that’s going on.

    I think it’s time to open up the wine here in the office.

  4. Kelly DeBie says:

    Lovely. We do need to find our happy. xo

  5. Beautiful words my friend. While it is difficult at times, the happy is slowly coming back. xoxo

  6. Thanks for this. Lately, I’ve been feeling guilty about the happier feelings that have been creeping back into my life. Having children has been the saving grace of this Christmas–they are so excited about Santa coming, and I can’t wait to see their faces when they open their presents. But if it weren’t for them, I may have written Christmas off this year.

  7. There is always joy to be found. Thank you for being a part of many of my smiles. Merry Christmas.

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