BlogHer 2013 in Chicago was a whirlwind of making connections, meeting internet goddesses in real life, networking my ‘brand’ opportunities, and suffering from Traveler’s Hotel Stomach. Yes, THS. Do you suffer from this?
What is THS? THS is a horrible condition that debilitates the proper function of, wait for it people- your bowels. This pretty much occurs whenever I leave my house and stay in a hotel. Even if I drive twenty minutes up the street to stay in a hotel, I will suffer from THS. I will bloat and get backed up. I will not be able to properly vacate my intestines. Of course, I was feeling self-conscious with all my roomies just a few feet away on the other side of the bathroom door. This might have added to my uptight feeling of trying to poop subtle like and not obvious.
I’m amazed that the Expo Hall at BlogHer didn’t have a FiberOne booth. Or a Dulcolax booth. They should really look into this. Among my close blogging friends, and let’s admit, even not so close, much was shared about THS. That we were all suffering from the days of gestating a poop baby.
You would think the vegan chorizo mexican burrito breakfast bar would have done the trick. No. No it did not. Again, the salad and Mediterranean couscous lunch buffet should have helped. No luck.
By day 4, we were all sharing notes of how we wish that we could relieve the THS that was lurking. Was there no colonic booth at the Expo Hall either? Geeze, what were these organizers thinking?
If you think that THS falls under the category of TMI, then I’m sorry. It proves you’ve never suffered.
There are trips when I have the converse of THS. This is called, “Oh Snap I Ate Something Weird And Now I’m Practically Shitting My Pants.” This has happened to me in a castle in the hills of Heidelberg. Apparently there are few public toilets available on a Sunday afternoon after one has had too much Hefeweizen and some soft cheese.
If you attended BlogHer and had fabulous bathroom experience ala Jaime Lee Curtis in an Activia commercial- then congratulations to you.
I do everything I’m supposed to and THS still plagues me.
For instance, here’s some feedback from my roommates this year- Anna from My Life and Kids says, “I haven’t pooped in 6 days. I’m waiting for something to kick in.”
The Bearded Iris says, “Usually I bring my prunes and this trip I forgot them. I could sure use some prunes.”
While we all waited anxiously for our poop babies to be delivered, the great thing was the common bond of constipated women in one room. I made some true friends this weekend. I’m not shitting you.
Before I go off on some horrible poop puns- I will just leave you with this picture.