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Jazz party, book signing and cocktails

Sometimes when you’re invited to a party there’s certain aspects of the party that make it more fun. Like, will there be cupcakes? Will there be a pinata? When you’re a grown up you want to know will there be booze? Will there be cute boys and dancing?

Well what if I told you that I was throwing a party and there will be booze, cute boys (at least McSweetie will be there but he’s taken) and dancing. I’m sorry I can’t guarantee cupcakes and there will most likely not be a pinata. BUT STILL- doesn’t it sound like an awesome party?

My friends Beth and Tracy who are co contributors in the book , I Still Just Want To Pee Alone, are joining me for a book signing May 4th in Seattle at a place called Sole Repair Shop. It’s a cool, snazzy venue that will have cocktails and food and US (of course!) signing your books and selling as many copies as you need. Mother’s Day is the next weekend you know- you’ll need to be prepared for all your mama friends.

The jazz party will be provided by a group called Emily Asher’s Garden Party.  You guys. This chick and her band are AWESOME. She plays a trombone and sings and sounds like Ella Fitzgerald hopped out of a speak easy and into the new millennium. Even if you don’t like jazz, you will love her and her band. Because you just will. Beth at Cult of Perfect Motherhood (who will be there and hooked us up with Emily) was diagnosed with Stage IV metastatic breast cancer last spring. Emily wrote her this song-

This song makes me cheer and makes me cry.

I’m so excited for this awesome night of talent, fun and coming together for celebrating the book, garden parties, and life in general.

Get your tickets here so we know how many books to bring and the bar knows how much Bourbon to stock.

Cheers-

http://www.brownpapertickets.com/event/1413884

 

garden party book club poster

I break for metal chickens. Actually, I don’t. I almost rear-end cars in front of me.

Or, I should call this,  how my husband tells me how to drive.

Or, how I will tell The Bloggess that it’s really weird not to care to almost get in a car accident because you see a whole parking lot full of giant metal chickens.

I guess that’s a little long and wordy for a title. I suppose the title above that is kinda long. Is it bad that I’ve almost forgotten what I’m writing about?

Oh yeah- The Bloggess is coming to Seattle for her book signing! HOLY SHNIKEY!!!! Did you hear?? THE BLOGGESS IS COMING!

And I’m going. I will bring my mini Beyonce, her book “Let’s Pretend this Never Happened”, and my 2012 Bloggess calendar.

Oh, I know, I’m going to title this- “Let’s not pretend, but that in fact, it DID happen”.

Enough with the title dammit!

The Bloggess is why I started blogging. After reading her post on “And That’s Why You Should Learn To Pick Your Battles” from last June, (probably THEE best blog ever written. You better go on over and read it so you know what the hell I’m talking about.) I discovered what blogs really are.  Anyone can write a blog. But writing a blog that is fucking hilarious is a totally different story.

I appreciate all kinds of bloggers. But honestly, I want to laugh. I am passed parenting tips on how to potty train, I’m not planning a wedding, and I don’t can my own vegetables. So reading about other people’s marriages is way funnier than anything else right now.

I’m not saying that I aspire to be The Bloggess. Not at all. It was last year when my Facebook statuses were getting longer and longer. People are all like, you’re so funny, you should write a blog. Gee, okay. Twist my arm why don’t you.

So now I can tell random people around the world about my kids, my sweet and tolerant husband, my vajajay and whatever else I feel like dammit!

Recently, while driving to a party with the family, and I was driving so it’s always irritating when McSweetie is next to me saying things like, ‘don’t you want this lane?’, ‘I’d pass this guy’, or ‘are you staying behind this slow grandma?’. You get the idea. My driver’s ed teacher was less annoying.

So I’m humming along just fine, and what do I see out of the corner of my eye? GIANT METAL CHICKENS!! A whole parking lot full of them! I’d never seen so many in one place. I turn to look, when suddenly, I hear “LOOK OUT!” So I look straight ahead. And yes, indeed, the car in front of me has stopped. I gently step on the brakes and stop with PLENTY of time (plenty, dear sweet husband) and say, ‘Why are you screaming?’

McS- “You weren’t stopping!”

Me- “I totally was going to stop in time. And I did. So there.” (Okay, I didn’t say the ‘so there’ part at the end, but I was pissed!)

McS- “What were you looking at anyway?”

Me- “You didn’t see all those metal chickens at that store in the parking lot? How could you miss them? They were so colorful. I’ve never seen so many!”

McS- “I was watching the road, which is what you should’ve been doing.”

Me- “I am able to do both, thankyouverymuch.”

Well, I’m happy to report that it was Emma’s idea to stop on the way back home and get pictures of all those chickens. I’m glad we did. Oh, and I’m not sporting a new fad in makeup. There was a professional face painter at the birthday party we went to, so I didn’t want to miss out on the fun.

Dear Bloggess- I’m coming for you! I mean, I’m coming for you to sign my book.

Love,

Frug

Knock Knock Mother Fucker

Look, it’s Beyonce!

This here, mother f’er costs $1400! That’s some expensive yard art!