Use closets, the garage, the office and the master bedroom to hide all the shit that’s been piling up all year. I’m talking about the kids’ Easter baskets and trick or treat bags; you know what I’m talking about.
Practice the phrase, “And I just cleaned it this morning, and look at it already!”
Fill your house with wafting, tempting scents that will distract guests. Like bacon.
Put out plenty of alcohol, spirits and alcohol. This is also a good distraction.
Wear clothing that isn’t covered in pet hair.
Remove the bra from behind the couch cushions your teenager shoved there one night while she was watching YouTube. (What? 13 year olds get tired of those things too you know!)
Try to remove cat or dog hair from the butter dish. This is hard, I know.
Do a quick once-over to check for any ‘surprises’- used band-aids, underwear and popsicle sticks shoved under the coffee table or on chairs. Trust me on this. The day you don’t check for that stuff is the day it will be your son’s band aid face up on the chair Aunt Susan sits on and she’ll have it stuck to her skirt unknowingly.