Buy my book!
Buy my book!
You got that right. If you read that title above it sounds like I want to pee alone on a TV show. No. It’s the book is on a TV show!!
Reporter Kim Holcomb and cameraman Howard from KING 5 news came to my house to tape a segment for local television. They were awesome and funny and Kim wore a super cute polka dot blouse. She did. When I opened my front door for her and cameraman Howard, I said, “Oh my gosh, you look so cute!” I hope Kim knew I meant her blouse, and Howard didn’t think I was flirting with him. Hmm… I never thought of that.
They wanted natural home stuff. You know, life as it is every day. I got to empty and load the dishwasher and Owen and James kicked the soccer ball. Emma was on the lap top and I did lots of ‘typing at my computer’ shots. I offered to scoop the cat box, but that didn’t make for such great TV. Hey- they wanted real, so I offered real.
I’m so glad I got a manicure that week with all those typing shots.
It was a gorgeous sunny day. But don’t let that fool you. No. Cameraman Howard closed the blinds then added these giant lights on stands. Apparently natural isn’t always good enough for television.
Then Kim shared with me that she’s interviewed Daniel Craig twice. Twice. Her impression of him- polite, but doesn’t enjoy press junkets. Not very personable. Okay, I can understand that.
Not everyone can be so giggly and sweet like me.
Seriously. I giggle the entire piece, you’ll hear. Also, I don’t always end my sentences. It’s a habit I have. I can’t seem to finish my thoughts with words or something.
And for the record- I don’t want Gwyneth to play me in the movie version. That was sarcasm that Kim didn’t pick up on. I want Amy Poehler or Kristen Wiig to play me in the movie version.
Mostly, what’s important about this TV piece is, you need to buy the book. (on Amazon, see my side bar) And you need to tell your friends to buy the book.
What good would media promotion be for a book if you didn’t buy it?
Some notes; My house looks cleaner on television than it is in real life. I have too many mugs that don’t all fit in my cupboards, that’s why I have to stack them. I didn’t realize I had a double chin until I saw it on TV. Also, special mention needs to be made that isn’t in the video, Jen from People I Want To Punch in the Throat is the band leader of all this craziness. Without her, we wouldn’t have the book.
So enjoy the clip.
What happens when you take a Youtube trend and put me in a blind fold and Emma trusts me completely with mascara? This is what you get: hilarious.
Yes, my daughter has a Youtube channel and she kicks my BUTT when it comes to editing. Do me a favor and subscribe to her- she’ll be so glad just to get the extra numbers. http://www.youtube.com/channel/UCGZj4vomL5Vfa2vAbb-Vq0Q?feature=g-high-u
Check out the video. You guessed it, I put make up on HER while I’m wearing a blindfold.
Today I give you some Owen snippets. They are gems and he keeps me entertained.
Don’t forget to vote for me in the Circle Of Moms Contest. Thanks!
Confetti cannons and cake for everyone! Pew, pew, pew!! That’s the confetti cannons firing.
What does one do to celebrate their one year blogging anniversary? Eat straight out of the Nutella jar, that’s what!
I started blogging one year ago. One year. Holy shizzballs!! It’s been like nothing I imagined. For starters, I imagined Ellen calling me to be on her show. That hasn’t happened yet. So, see what I mean? Nothing like I imagined. I also thought Daniel Craig, Hugh Jackman or Melissa Gilbert would come knocking on my door by now. Hmm… still nothing. Well, here’s to another year of imagining.
What did happen that I didn’t imagine was YOU!!! All of YOU people!! Not just my mom, my brother and some of my neighbors, but folks in Saudi Arabia, Iceland, Ukraine, Australia, Malaysia…. crazy places that READ me! Not that where you live is crazy. Just that, for this little suburban American girl, those sound so exotic, and I honestly never imagined someone all the way around the world paying attention to my blog.
But let me also mention my blogging friends I have met. Okay, let me clarify. I haven’t ‘met’ any of them yet. But they are my peeps. My blogging sisters and brothers. Some of them I have made friends on the ‘real’ side of Facebook. I definitely will be seeing quite a few of them one day in real live person. I truly can’t wait to drink a toast and break bread with these people. Hmm, that’s a lot of bread references right there. But my point being, they are so incredibly supportive. They are good people. They get the whole- build you up, promote you to the readers and know you’ll do it in return- process. They make my day brighter, help me believe in myself, commiserate over laundry and female issues. We laugh, we cry, we plot evil revenge on dickwads that leave awful comments. Just kidding!! You know me, I’m all about the peace! The friendship between other bloggers is definitely something I never imagined with this gig. It’s truly the icing on this wordy cake.
So I won’t name any of them specifically, I’m afraid I’ll forget someone. So let me just say- you know who you are. You’re there for me, you are the wind beneath my wings. Cue Bette Middler.
My very first post was kind of like a child’s first day of Kindergarten. There were some introductions, nervous peeing, feelings of awkwardness and insecurity. But now I’ve found myself. My ‘voice’ I can call it. I’m not trying to fit in anywhere. Well, okay, I am. But I’m just writing and sometimes it’s funny, and sometimes it’s downright heart gripping. And thankfully you all just ride this coaster of crazy and dramatic confessions that I spew onto the screen.
Like my brother says about most of my posts- a lot of effort, not a whole lot of preparation. So true. I literally just developed my blog overnight. I know, hard to believe! (wink, wink) I just jumped in. Like a cold swimming pool. If I stuck my toe in and tested the waters, I bet I would have put on the breaks and backed out of there. But once I hit ‘publish’ there was no turning back. Sometimes I’m scared of a post. Sometimes I’m excited. Sometimes posts are crap. Sometimes they are gold. I never know. Okay, I have a slight inkling. But I’m amazed at what tickles someone’s funny bone or inspires them.
If you’ve stuck around all year or just found me yesterday through this roller coaster and the complete whiplash that is my blog, then Thank You. I hope you stick around for another year. I think I’m getting the hang of it.
I made this clip especially for you-
Maybe because my daughter likes Justin Beiber, or maybe because I’m trying to be an equal-opportunity-nice-to-everyone type of person. But when people make gay jokes about Boy Bands and criticize their music that it’s not ‘real’ music- it kind of irks me. I know- that’s ridiculous. You’re asking- ‘she’s going to type a blog about defending Boy Bands?’ ‘Is this woman crazy?’. Duh.
Well, bear with me here- let me explain.
And yes, I get that in some cases Boy Bands are just products of the record industry or Disney machine. Whatever. Just go with me on this, ‘mkay?
Every generation has the music that makes the previous generation cringe. I mean, The Beatles. Come on. With their floppy hair (un)cuts and their little, ‘love, love, me do’ lyrics, they were boy band material for sure. Parents hated them, girls fainted for them.
Then The Monkees- total boy band. And their TV show- so cheesy, but I LOVED it! And so did EVERYBODY else. Sadly, we lost Davy Jones this year, and you know that his cameo on the Brady Bunch is what made him memorable to most of us. Hey, hey, we’re the Monkees!!
Not every music is every person’s cup of tea. But does anyone have the right to judge what is ‘real’ music? If it moves you, makes you happy, makes you feel, gets you dancing, gets you through a break-up, empowers you, reminds you of a loved one- then it’s music!! Right??
THIS DOES NOT APPLY TO KIDZBOP! That drivel is still horrible enough for me to take ice picks to my ears!
Those cute fellas on One Direction are adorbs and totes (see what I did there? Used my middle school slang- cuz I’m a cool mom) amazing with those little English accents, and don’t deny you aren’t bopping around in your car when their song comes on.
The Bieb’s song “Boyfriend” gets Emma and I going every time. I’m not sure what weird, hypnotic chords they put in, but EVERY TIME it comes on the radio, we do our white girl groove. And usually, it’s in the car. And I know Justin doesn’t qualify as a boy band, but he is a boy and he gets a lot of grief. Not that I have to defend his multi- million dollar status and 2 billion records- I think he’s gonna be fine on his own.
‘N Sync. Uh huh. J- T. You know you love it. Come on …. “Bye, bye, bye…” Thank GOD he grew out the curly pubes on his head. I think he’s so much cuter now.
Jonas Brothers. Okay- they kind of bugged me. Sorry Joe. You are not going to be the next Justin Timberlake. Not gonna happen. But they are good boys. The whole chastity thing is still weird. If I was famous, I’m not going to flaunt my virginity for all to know about it. Virgin and proud is great. My children will remain virgins until they are in their 30s. But every time the magazines show them with a girl friend, I’m always thinking, ‘Aww, poor thing- she ain’t gettin’ any.’
New Kids on the Block- Donnie, Jordan, Joey- so cute… and the others, whoever they are. I mean, frankly who cares about the rest. I don’t even know their names. And these fans are hard core. They have CRUISES you take with them. Not just a concert- a CRUISE SHIP.
Backstreet Boys- Gone-ish but not forgotten. If you don’t get up at a wedding reception and start singing, “I want it THAT WAY”, then you just don’t know what cool is.
Hanson- How can I NOT include these sweetie pies?? MMMBop. And now it’s in YOUR head too. They’re all like married and accountants or something, so the ‘one hit wonder’ status is cool with them.
Okay, so there is my defense of boy bands. Coming to a mall near you. They are harmless, cute, so go on- shake your groove thang.
So be nice! And aren’t we so over calling people gay like it’s a bad thing?
I want to just fess up and say that I think my blog name is stupid. I remember 6 months ago when I was coming up with my whole blog in the first place, I wanted a name that was cool like The Bloggess. I was also a little intimidated because this was my first blog and I was very self conscious about my writing. I really just threw caution to the wind and jumped in like people do for those Polar Bear plunges jumping in icy waters. Crazy! I say, crazy! So needless to say, I wasn’t going to name my blog Her Royal Highness, the Blog Writer. Now I’m kinda wishing I did. Because, I feel like I can do anything. I practically wear a cape when I write. I feel invincible.
But I won’t kid you- criticism is totally my kryptonite.
Okay, so I’m not Superwoman. Or Wonder Woman. I couldn’t fit into those hot pants. But the boots are pretty cool… I might rock those cuffs pretty good too….
I fall into the category of mommy blogger. For obvious reasons because I’m a mom, I write about my ‘stay at home’ adventures of car pool and bed times. The name Frugalista came to me because it seemed a good play on words for my savvy bargain hunting and my desire to be at Paris Fashion Week. So for those that are new to this page- now you know.
Remember that FRIENDS episode where Rachel makes the Christmas dessert trifle from a magazine recipe and the pages get stuck together? She puts meat inside the trifle because she thought that was part of the recipe. I’m that meaty center. Unexpected, maybe tasty, maybe not your cup of tea, but unique. So there.
I do blog about shopping and things I like. I like sharing what makes me happy. I am NOT a couponer. I’m like those new Ellen JCPenney commercials- no coupons on this padre!
So between the bitching about my husband, my kids, random people in the news, my obsession with movies… you know- I like to talk about great shopping deals, makeup, and cute little fashion finds. But I also have to pretend to my husband that I don’t shop EVER, except for groceries. All that makeup, clothes and shoes, procreate like Gremlins after midnight in my closet. Right?
Despite what the calendar says, it is not Spring here yet. It’s between the 30s and 40s for a high in these great northwest parts. So I’m ready to bust out my spring looks but hate hypothermia, so I’m still in fleece, wool and Goretex.
If I WERE to get all fashiony, these are my gems of what I’m excited about-
Colored denim. At first I was like all, you won’t catch me in yellow jeans. But then I saw a couple friends in cute skinny jeans that were colored and they looked SO cute. So I got a pair of cobalt blue. Hey, it’s close to denim right? So bright blue it is with a pop of orange or teal, oh, and some cute wedges and a pedi…. oh Spring, just GET HERE ALREADY!
Scarves- I’m obsessed with scarves. I have more scarves than Imelda Marcos has shoes. Well, not quite. Maybe more scarves than Paris Hilton has chihuahuas. I have plenty of warm weather, cold weather and all the weather in between scarves. I like something soft and lightweight around my neck (ha ha, no, not a dog collar thankyouverymuch). Even when it’s warm out, having a light weight scarf can serve several purposes- helps shield the sun from your decollete and keeps off the chills if the a/c is cranked somewhere.
I bought at least three at H&M. They have wonderful prices and lots of great neutrals. I got a bright orange one at Nordstrom that was less than $20. I’m thinking it’s like my personal piece of sunshine to take with me wherever I go!
Next, let’s talk product-
Beauty Balms- For the ultra product-savvy, you know what these are. The industry calls them BB creams. For those that don’t know- these are like a tinted moisturizer that have SPF, primer, and brightening properties all in one product. They come on the really high-end like Dior- to the first ever at the drugstore brand- Garnier. I have yet to try the Garnier one, it’s sold out wherever I go. But the Dior one is great and so is one by Boscia. Some have one tint fits all, some have shades. If you are a less is more person- this is for you. You’ll get some coverage and sun protection in one product. Bam! You’re welcome.
There’s a line of products out there by ALTERNA called Bamboo. I love their glossing creams and root sprays. They seem to have what the label promises, organic ingredients and I seem to be going back to them even though my bathroom looks like a Sephora store.
Yeah, I’m the queen of TV. Although, it seems as much TV as I watch, people will ask if I’m watching a show and I realize I haven’t been. So I know that I’m not watching EVERY show out there. Even though it seems that way to my husband.
GCB- the new show on ABC with Kristen Chenoweth, who I love! It’s over the top, ridiculous and campy. Perfect for me! Check it out!
So there you have it. Like a little dish of candy all served up nice and sweet. Thanks for joining me. Tune in next week when I write about…. wait for it…. PMS- just like always. Okay, I don’t really know if I will, but 8 out of 10 posts seem to deal with that, so there’s a good chance of it in the forecast.
I was in college when I saw the movie A Room with a View. It was my first experience with a Merchant Ivory production. I loved the periods, costume and set direction and scenery of their films. I would cry just at the sheer beauty. What a sap I was! Then throw in some Puccini opera on the soundtrack- I was in love (sniff, sniff).
This was my first exposure to Helena, who played Lucy Honeychurch. I thought she was lovely. That big mess of curly, dark hair. I wanted to wear an Edwardian dress with a big hat and stroll on green lawns of English estates. I had some long skirts and button down shirts in my closet. My then roommate- Ginhee- made me purge my ‘prairie looks’ as she called them. She didn’t understand my Merchant Ivory penchant for fashion. Well, I don’t blame her. By the way, Merchant Ivory is two people not one. Ismail Merchant and James Ivory produced and directed a bunch of films in the 90s that I was obsessed with that all had the same style of culture, art and repressed passion.
Poor Emma. But now Helena is with Tim Burton and they make the perfect couple. Cooky meets crazy!
I loved Helena in Harry Potter as Bellatrix LaStrange. How perfect for her. Bellatrix eats the same squirrel food as Helena because she’s nutty too!
Of course, last year, Helena’s portrayal as the Queen mum in The King’s Speech was poignant, loving, and completely devoid of any craziness.
Who else can do the red carpet like Helena? It would be disappointing if she showed up in a ‘regular’ couture look.
I wasn’t a fan of Sweeney Todd. (shh, don’t tell her that.) But I loved her as the Red Queen in Alice in Wonderland. Nothing beats the line, “I love a warm pig for my aching feet.” And who remembers her stint on Miami Vice? Ha! Betcha you forgot that.
I love everything she does down to her mismatched shoes. I probably wouldn’t let her babysit my kids, but I would love to do tequila shots with her and Tim. How fun would THAT be? Johnny Depp could show up too.
She has been nominated for an Academy Award twice. Maybe one day she’ll win. Or maybe not. I doubt she cares.
Thanks for keeping it real Helena.
I’m hearing that the Oscar buzz this year is Viola Davis may win for Best Actress for The Help. That’s great and all….but….. Meryl, Meryl, Meryl- needs. to. win.
I know Meryl has won before. But she is so frickin’ fantastic all the time. She has won twice- Best Supporting Actress for Kramer vs. Kramer and Best Actress for Sophie’s Choice. That was 30 years ago!! She’s been nominated practically every year- from A Cry in the (dingo ate my baby) Dark, to The Devil Wears (bitch Miranda Priestly) Prada. She leads most ever nominations with 17 total. 17 for crying out loud!
Accents, prosthesis, nudity or disabilities are pretty much a shoe-in for winning. Aside from the nudity part, Meryl has completed all these criteria.
In the movie Iron Lady, she wore some serious dental prosthesis. Ding ding. Winner.
Viola has been around a while too. With some starts on NYPD Blue, Law and Order, she even costarred with Meryl in Doubt. She even worked with George in Syriana. Oh, I’m sorry- George Clooney. We are on a first name basis. AND Meryl and George did voices for Fantastic Mr. Fox. It’s all a 3 degrees of Hollywood separation thing.
Then there’s Rooney. She is a long shot to win. But I always appreciate someone’s devotion to their craft. Her transformation to Lisbeth Salander was astounding. Nipple piercings? Computer hacking skills? Visiting an autism center? Her nomination should be an honor in this stage of her career. Just please Rooney- please don’t turn into one of those Kristen Stewart types where you look completely uncomfortable with your fame, pretend to ‘endure’ the fashion thrown at you for free, say that you owe it all to the fans but look like someone is giving you a colonoscopy every time you are interviewed. Anyway… you get the idea.
Oh and then there’s Glenn. Glenn, how have you NOT won yet? After Fatal Attraction I was mesmerized. After Dangerous Liaisons I was enchanted. What can you NOT do?? The Victor/Victoria Albert Nobbs get up is superb.
Michelle- your portrayal of Marilyn is spot on. Dawson’s Creek you are far from. You will have a promising career of many more nominations, I promise. You will win. Just not this year.
Everyone in this category this year is deserving. But my money is on Meryl. Votes are cast. Couture is being pressed. Jewels are on loan. Meryl will probably show up wearing something understated with a big clunky necklace. Her hair swept up casually and not even wear much makeup. And she’ll look stunning like always. Because she knows she’s awesome. Right? I mean- she’s Meryl.
I want to think I was the belle of the ball, but it was Adele. She reigned supreme and deserved it.
There are three parts to this blog:
I will also add some disclaimers:
No I did not meet any celebrities per se, and I got the privilege to attend the Grammys because a friend’s dad gets the tickets through his work.
Being away for a weekend:
When mama is gone for 4 days it’s enough to have the children fed and kept happy. Forget any household chores getting done, laundry, vacuuming… Now there’s 4 days of chores waiting for me to do. Which means it will take me around a week to catch up at the speed I get through them. Which means since I never get caught up in the first place; for the next month I will be doing the previous week’s chores. We’ll be glad if there’s clean socks and underwear for everyone.
Attending the Grammys civilian style:
What I mean by this is, these important events that rich and famous people get to attend usually come with borrowed couture, loaned jewels, hair and make up teams, chauffeurs, handlers, assistants…
When you are just a regular person trying to pull yourself together for attending a black tie affair, it’s hard! I’m not complaining. No. BUT, dang it, false eyelashes are a bitch to apply and the cheap Target SPANX knock-offs rolls up on the leg seams giving you a ‘ribbed’ look you didn’t intend.
Plus, us gals all followed the strict small print on every ticket and memo we received, banning cell phones and cameras. With the warning that they would be checked by security. To avoid this pain in the ass (and yes, I did think of shoving my phone in my knock-off SPANX to sneak it in, but they put you through metal detectors and that would have been embarrassing for me to reach up into my waistband, lifting the muffin top, to reach my phone if I got busted.); we left our phones in the car.
Here’s some foreshadowing for you- yes, we regretted leaving our phones in the car. More on that later.
I have never attended an event of this magnitude or prestige. There’s people lining the streets of LA near the Staples center, lanes and lanes of limos and town cars, spray tan, platform heals and LOTS of cleavage. LOTS of cleavage.
We parked in the garage, walked around to the entrance. And flashed our tickets. We were given Red Carpet access. Yes, I tinkled a little in my knock-off SPANX to be actually on a Red Carpet. Yes, I felt somewhat giddy. But I soon learned, there are two types of Red Carpets. If this Red Carpet was the Titanic- there’s first class and steerage. And I was on the side with Jack, not Rose. So that means, no life jackets, no boats. I would have sunk. But anyway… When you are steerage class you walk BEHIND the backdrops and ropes of where the celebs do their poses for photogs and you can peek around to see folks getting interviewed, until they tell you to move along for some stupid fire code. Yeah, yeah, the fire chief doesn’t want fifty of us crowding around to see if we can spy Beyonce (who was not there by the way). For the record- I don’t blame folks now for wearing sunglasses on the red carpet. Those lights are freakin’ bright. The Grammy red carpet is under a tent, so it seems to magnify the spotlights and flashes. It’s like a Yen Lui studio on crack.
Here’s who I got to see:
Ryan Seacrest (despite everyone calling him short- newsflash, most men in Hollywood are under 6′, he’s very handsome.)
Billy Ray Cyrus
Paris Hilton (she looks like a lollipop in a dress)
Kathy Griffin (plastic surgery doesn’t look as scary as it does on TV)
Rebecca Black (Friday song girl- she’s cute)
The cute little girls from Ellen that wear the giant pink tutus (SO cute)
Some R&B singer I didn’t know the name of
Some Rap artists I didn’t know the name of
Kelly Osbourn (hair color is still really weird, but kind of cool)
Tia Carrere (her plastic surgery DOES look scary in person)
Chris Harrison of the Bachelor
What I didn’t know that while I was on the red carpet so was:
The Band Perri
Corrine Bailey Ray
and a bunch of others that I must’ve missed with all the backdrops and reporters blocking my view.
I got three compliments from ushers (not THE Usher) on my dress. At least someone noticed!
The Staples center does not open any bars or cocktail lounges prior to the event. Apparently someone thought it was a school carnival and was selling Diet Coke, Red Vines, Smarties and popcorn. Um- ‘scuse me, this girl needs a gin and tonic.
So we sat in our seats with just a bottle of water, a Lara bar I smuggled in my purse and some gum. And no phones. Did I mention, no phones? We felt like one of our limbs had been removed. No texting, no posting on Facebook braggy status posts, no quickie pics of Kelly Osbourn in her 360 glam cam station for the E! network. Nothing.
This is where being a celebrity must come in handy. You get your phone and I’m guessing as many gin and tonics as you want.
When we saw all the other rule breakers with their phones and cameras we were kicking ourselves for being such goody-two-shoes. Where was the enforcement people??? There were people taking pictures and video left and right and no one seemed to care! Next time- if there’s a next time- I am bringing my phone.
If you saw the show on TV- here’s what you missed:
The set for Katy Perry’s performance had 4 ice sculptures but by the time it was her segment one had already crashed to the ground and broken in a million pieces during a commercial break so they had to quickly clear the stage and roll with it. Not that it mattered to have three instead of four.
Fergie’s awful orange dress (or as Emma texted me later that night- ‘Chinese New Year gone wrong’) glowed in the dark. I’m not sure how, but you could spot her all the way across the Staples center even in the dark.
I watched Paul McCartney during every commercial break get up and shake hands, give kisses and pose for pics. Not with us of course, but the fancy people. Still- what a guy.
Glenn Campbell seemed confused and almost wandered off the stage before starting to sing. But God Bless him, cuz Rhinestone Cowboy was THE most favorite song of my 4 year old existence. If Crystal Gayle came out on stage, my friends would have had to get a stretcher for me.
Hot chicks play banjos.
Paris Hilton likes to wander around calling attention to herself for no apparent reason.
Tony Bennett’s gray hair is as visible across a room as Fergie’s orange dress.
Jennifer Hudson was pitch perfect in person for her Whitney tribute and there wasn’t a dry eye in the house.
The Cold Play number in person was a lot cooler than on TV because they gave us these bracelets that were remotely activated to blink and light up to the music while they played. After the number, they were useless. But I continued to wear mine throughout the evening hoping Chris Martin was going to send me some morse code signal through them.
The Staples Center likes to keep things on the chilly side. We were snuggled up under our dresses and wraps while some a/c was wafting from above. Good thing it was dark, because everyone would have seen our SPANX with our knees tucked under our chins for body heat.
I got to brag to my husband that I was in the same room as Kate Beckinsale. Of course, I was 200 feet from her, but when will HE ever be in the SAME room as her?? Even if that room is 10,000 square feet.
The Nicki Minaj number sucked in real life as much as it did on TV. Fail.
I want to carry Bruno Mars’ babies. Okay, not really, but I would carry his Cabbage Patch dolls for him or his golf bag, or whatever he wants me to carry for him, he’s so cute. We’ll just forget about the cocaine incident a year ago through airport security, shall we?
And lastly- Adele sounded SPECTACULAR in person. Hands down it was her night and everyone knew it.
It was my night too.
I’m sure I will be writing endlessly about my Grammy weekend. But this is all I got for now. Enjoy.
Oh and yes, I did get my gin and tonic later that night. Two in fact.