Let me just say that I told you so. Whatever I have said, the big money reviewers and writers will say the same thing. If you even bother to read them.
So I’ve had several vodka tonics, I can’t be responsible for content:
What was with Madonna? Can she thaw just a little bit please? Since when is the Material Girl so freakin’ serious? When she went up to accept her award for best song for W/E, a movie which she also directed, she was stoic, silent and calculating in her words. I thought someone died. Or she was going to dedicate her award to something important. No, she was just pontificating in her fake British accent. How I wish she would lighten up. Or remove the stick up her ass.
Best line of the evening:
When Seth Rogan comes out with Kate Beckinsale and says, “I’m Seth Rogan, and I am hiding an enormous erection.” To the commencing of giggles from Kate Beckinsale and she couldn’t read the teleprompter. I will confess, James would probably concur. He wouldn’t say so though on TV for millions to hear.
Best presenting duo-
Tina Fey and Jane Lynch. Carry on…
Hottest presenting duo
Channing Tatum and Jessica Alba
Movies I haven’t seen, but need to-
- Congrats to Octavia Spencer for winning for her portrayal in The Help. That movie was so many things. And I think she feels the same way too. Way to go and she had a wonderful quote from Dr. King in her speech.
- Shame on NBC for putting a short leash on Ricky Gervais. What are you afraid of? He only says what we all think.
Favorite Anglophile Thespian:
Kate Winslet. Beautiful, poised, talented and always real.
Old fella still Rockin it:
Sydney Poitier. Damn he’s distinguished.
Older woman still Rockin it:
Helen Mirren (second favorite Anglophile Thespian)
- I love me a video montage of an actor’s career. Morgan Freeman is a stud. From Electric Company to Invictus. God love him.
Skinniest woman that I want to hate but hey, if it’s her metabolism that makes her so thin after three children then okay:
- Kudos for Modern Family and Sofia Vergara’s acceptance speech.
Worst dress on a hot woman:
Jessica Biel decided to wear her wedding dress to Justin Timerlake with her Spanx briefs showing.
Actress who always acts like she’s not expecting it, but deserves it every year:
Actress who still does her Jazzercize DVD’s even though she’s like 90 years old:
Jane Fonda. Can’t deny that she’s still hot from the neck down.
- okay so The Artiste won instead of Bridesmaids. Whatever. I guess it’s cinematic or something. Nothing beats Melissa McCarthy in the bridal shop. Period.
- Apparently I have to see Shame. Michael Fassbender can play golf without a club according to George Clooney.
- Dear Harrison Ford: Please remove your earring. You are not in college or in a garage band. Thanks.
I guess before the Oscars I will be seeing the Descendants. I think it’s going to win Best Picture. I said it here first.