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RTLF #15- Siona’s Story

I had mentioned last week that I will do a series of stories for Childhood Cancer Awareness Month. I’m reading Mary Tyler Mom’s account of her daughter Donna and their journey through her cancer. She chronicles Donna’s cancer in a series for Huffington Post for this month of September. You should follow it too if you aren’t yet. And share it. Please, please share it.

My friends, the Shahs, found out in 2008, their daughter Siona, had Leukemia. She was only 4 years old. Not that any age is okay to get cancer. Isn’t it funny when we say that? She was only 2 years old, or 10 years old?  How  about 90? Would that be okay?  I don’t know.

I asked Siona’s mom to write her own words for their story. She does a beautiful job. Please read and share to spread Siona’s words of strength. I’m amazed at the Mary Tyler Moms and the Reshmas that I know.

And pay attention to the end. Siona’s older brother Sohil included a list of Siona’s lessons. We forget sometimes how siblings are affected. How one day, you become an only child. What burden does that carry? Sohil is a clever, smart and easy going young man. I admire him too for his strength and wisdom. Everyone can learn from Siona’s story-

This is Siona. Smiling like always.

Written by Siona’s mom- Reshma~

When your children are born, as parents you have this feeling that everything is well with the world.  You actually wonder what you ever did prior to having them and couldn’t imagine your world without them in it.
As they grow, every now then, they get ill and for a moment you get that feeling in the pit of your stomach.   The wave of relief when the doctor tells you it’s nothing serious, puts you back in that ‘all is well with the world’ place.
On a hot summer day in 2008, I took the kids to their first swim lesson together.  My son did well, but Siona, my daughter, cried through the whole lesson.  It was very unusual for her to be clingy and cry so much.   I made a note to ask the doctor about it later that day.  I was taking Siona in for a checkup because she had been sleeping a lot and she had a low grade fever.
The doctor took a look and ordered blood work and said it was probably mono, but blood tests should confirm it.  I went about my business thinking it would all be fine…the doctor said so.
The next morning, my husband woke me up early to say the doctor had called (at 5:30 a.m.) to say that we had to get Siona into Children’s ER in Seattle.  No explanation.  They couldn’t discuss it over the phone.
From that day onward life was never the same and would never be ever again.  Siona was diagnosed with High Risk T-Cell Leukemia on June 26th 2008.  We didn’t go home that day.  Siona was admitted to an overflowing cancer ward.  I will always remember that first night…listening to the other children in the room crying in pain and being sick.  The thought of Siona going through what those children were going through was unbearable.
Siona showed spunk from the very beginning.  When the tech came in to draw blood for the tenth time that first day she had no more fingers left to poke, except one.  She was mad, it was late and the tech couldn’t get blood.  I screamed at him to leave and Siona calmly gave him her only unbandaged finger – the middle one.   Appropriately, it symbolized my feelings to a tee. ‘Take that cancer!’
Life puts many obstacles in our way and how we choose to deal with them makes us who we are.  Children don’t even see these obstacles.  They are usually experiencing everything for the first time, so to them, if it is new it must be normal…right?  To Siona, every kid was doing the things she was.
Siona never cried about what was happening to her.  She cried when she was in pain when it was at its worst.  She took the daily needles in the chest, feeding tubes shoved down her throat and the constant prodding and poking in stride.  The long hospital days and long stays were accepted without question.  She would look around in the waiting room and comment on another girl’s cute shoes or notice a child crying and say, ‘He/she is not happy today.’  I could tell it would affect her.  She was always smiling and wanted that for the other kids too.  Her goal was to get out of the hospital as fast as she could, so she would opt out of the ‘let’s count to 10 before we rip this tape off your chest’.  Honestly, there is no gentle way to take a needle out of your chest!  She would say, ‘Just do it!  I want to go home and ride my scooter!’
The first year was the hardest.  The chemo made Siona very sick and also shut down her adrenal system.  She was on a feeding tube most of the first year.  She was a sight!  She would be running, riding her bike, and playing without a care – all with the tubes hanging out of her.  Cancer wasn’t going to slow her down.    As she grew older, Siona started to notice that she wasn’t getting to do the normal things other kids her age were doing.  The first day of kindergarten and getting on the school bus she had always wanted to get on weren’t going to happen for her.  We would keep the windows shut so that she couldn’t hear the kids outside.  Once, and only once, did she say to me, ‘Mama, I wish I was normal.’
Children with Leukemia go through a longer course of therapy.  Girls go a total of 2 years, boys 3.  After the first intense year, Siona went on maintenance therapy for the next year.  She was doing well until March 26th of 2010 (ahhh the 26th again!).  After a routine blood test the results showed some abnormalities.  Siona had relapsed.  It was like re-living the first time we found out, but worse.
With cancer you are bombarded with statistics.  Your child’s chances of survival are based on percentages.  It’s terrifying.  Siona’s chances weren’t great this time around.  The first time she had had an 85 % chance of surviving.  Now?  5% if she was lucky.   Siona needed a bone marrow transplant and donors for children of Asian descent are hard to match.  Her brother, who had decided he was going to save her, wasn’t a match for her.  We found two blood cords that may have worked, but first we needed to get Siona into remission.
We went to St. Jude’s in Memphis where they are 10 years ahead of all institutions in the search for a cure for childhood cancer.  We found out that Siona actually had a rare subset of Leukemia called ETP Leukemia.  It was newly discovered by doctors at St. Judes.  We were thrown back to the beginning…again.  A whole new diagnosis for which chemo is useless.  Siona should have had a transplant while she was in remission.  We were devastated.
We brought Siona home because that is where she wanted to be.  St Jude’s had new treatments, but they were all experimental.  No guarantees.  Siona was all about ‘Home’.  She just wanted to be home with her brother and family.
Through Siona’s illness she remained positive and would tell US everything was going to be okay.  We would call her the ‘wise one’ because she would say things that a 4 or 5 year old would never say.  She observed people closely and if she heard or saw that someone was hurt or down, she would try to cheer them up.
She once said to her brother who was sad to see grandparents go home, ‘Just because they are gone doesn’t mean that you won’t see them again one day.’  She was very practical girl in matters of the heart.  Her fashion sense on the other hand was a different story.  She was all about purple (a happy color in her mind), pink, and lots of bling!
She lived everyday to the fullest.  At least to the point her body would let her.  She loved holidays; Halloween, Diwali, and Christmas.  She loved to be with family and sing, do her arts and crafts, dance in her princess dresses and heels, and to giggle with her cousins.  She would look into the sky at butterflies and birds and wondered how it would feel to fly ‘free’ as she put it.  She taught many of us so much about life.  It was hard to think someone so young could be so mature and matter of fact.
She was so excited for Christmas 2010 to get here.  We know she hung on for that reason.  During her last week with us, she said her goodbyes in her way.  She told me, ‘Mama, I’m tired now.’ She made calls to family and left messages in the middle of the night.  She told me to ‘Be calm Mama, be calm’ right before the paramedics came to get her.  The night before she passed she told her Dad, ‘Daddy, I’m flying free!’
She is free to fly high in the sky now.  Free from pain.   We miss her terribly.  The house is too quiet without her loud voice and happy chatter and singing.   How do you learn to be an only child if all you can remember is having a sibling?  How do you parent an only child when all you remember is parenting two?  We are all re-learning how to live life without Siona.  As she said, ‘Just because she is gone doesn’t mean we won’t see her again one day.’
After Siona passed away, her brother sat down with his Dad to write down everything he had learned from his little sister.   He learned the most from his sister.   Her lessons to him became Siona’s Life Lessons for us.   He tries to live everyday with as much zest and enthusiasm as she did.  She would be proud.  We have included ‘Siona’s Life Lessons below.  They keep us strong and focused…living everyday with the way she would want us to – with purpose, making a difference.

Siona and her mom, Reshma

‘Siona’s Life Lessons’:

  1. Live with a smile.
  2. Never give up and always try your best.
  3. Be kind and accepting of people.
  4. Don’t complain about things that aren’t fair.
  5. Be happy with the small things in life such as hot cocoa at Starbucks or going to lunch with daddy, mommy or Mr. Lampy (as she called Sohil sometimes).
  6. Be positive and laugh out loud.
  7.  It’s okay to fly into the sky as long as you have lived with a purpose.
  8.  Always be kind to spiders, because they too have a Mommy and Daddy.
  9.  Always be truthful and tell it like it is.
  10.  Always enjoy moments – big or small.
  11. Be “just the way you are”.
  12.  Make a difference in people’s lives.

The backs of the shirts for our Team in Training for the Rock n Roll marathon and the Big Climb for the Leukemia Society. We are proud to wear Siona’s angel wings.

Thank you Reshma for sharing Siona’s story with us. It’s beautiful and inspiring. I know it was hard. I love you for helping me spread the word for you.

http://www.sionashah.com/

RTLF #14 – week 1- Cancer effing sucks

This is a repost from Friday- Gmail is being sneaky and sending emails to folk’s spam folders if they have ’causes’ in the subject. Hoping if you didn’t get this on Friday- you will today. Or if you did get it, you don’t mind seeing it again. Thanks!

September is Childhood Cancer Awareness Month.

“cancer is still the second leading cause of death in children younger than 15 years old (after accidents). About 1,340 children are expected to die from cancer in 2012.” (American Cancer Society) Does that not scare the shit out of you?? It does me.

How many people do you know who have or have had cancer? How many children do you know who have or have had cancer?

Sadly, my answer is 3. I know personally, 3 children that have had cancer. Two of them passed away. One of them is thriving today.

The way it comes into their lives and moves in like a horrible house guest, turns lives upside down.

I hope you’ve been reading Donna’s storyMary Tyler Mom is a writer the Huffington Post is featuring all this month. Her daughter, Donna, passed away in 2009 from a brain tumor. Thirty-one entries of what that family went through. We’re on day 7 today. I’m on the edge of my seat when I read it, barely breathing, thinking of what they endured.

My friend Christin’s son Kyle, passed away of a brain tumor in 2009. He battled for more than 2 years. He made it to his 8th birthday, and then slipped away soon after. Kyle defied all statistics. Most kids battling his kind of tumor only last a year, maybe 18 months. He lasted longer. Kyle was one of those kids you don’t forget about. We honor him every year in the Run of Hope in Seattle through Children’s Hospital. And we remember his birthday on January 17th as ice cream day. You are allowed to give your kids, and yourself, ice cream for breakfast, lunch and dinner. Because Kyle was smart that way. He knew how to live to the fullest, even if that meant dessert first!

This is the video they played at Kyle’s memorial that a friend of the family put together. I watched it recently and after 3 years, it still brings me to sobs. Please watch, but be ready with kleenex. http://vimeo.com/3262788 (copy and past the URL in your browser, or go to Kyle’s blog I have linked below.)

My friends the Shah’s daughter, Siona, passed away New Year’s Day, 2011 after her battle with leukemia. She was 6. 6 years old. She hadn’t even had a chance to go to Kindergarten. She was diagnosed soon after she turned 4 and those 2 years were spent battling for her life. They thought she had the ‘good’ kind of leukemia. The kind where kids recover and bounce back. When the cancer returned during the spring of 2010, we were in shock and disbelief. Within a year she was gone. Even after a valiant effort at St. Jude’s.  Siona wanted to have Christmas. Her doctors told her family to move it up on the calendar. They kept it on the 25th like it is. And she enjoyed every part of that Christmas.

My friends the Lefkows found out about their daughter, Ashely’s leukemia in 2009. She had the ‘good’ kind too. Thankful for them, she is a thriving 1st grader who was on the swim team this summer and loves building Legos with her brother and dressing up with her girlfriends. I wrote about the Lefkow’s journey here, and how glad we were when she finished her treatment in December.

I will have each mom (Kyle’s, Ashley’s, and Siona’s) write a piece for my blog this month so you can read their words. Unless you’ve lived it, you can’t imagine it.

We need to spread the word. A statistic says that in the past 20 years, only one new cancer drug has been improved for pediatric cancer. This is unacceptable!!

I won’t make this political, but for example, wouldn’t the billions of dollars being spent on this year’s campaigns be better used for cures and research? Makes me sick!

I wish I could say that I won’t know any more children who will have cancer. I won’t know any more families who have to go through this. Dear God, not mine! Right? Isn’t that what you’re thinking? It could be anyone. We can’t put a bike helmet on or knee pads to prevent it. We can’t keep our kids from junk food or too much TV, or buckle them in any safer in their car seat or have them take their cell phone going to their friend’s house. It just happens. Cancer just happens.

So share, spread, speak. We need to save our children.

For Donna, Kyle, Siona and Ashley, and many, many more.

Donna’s Cancer Story- read here

Kyle’s Blog- read here

RTLF #14 – week 1- Cancer effing sucks

 

this is a repost from Friday- Gmail is being sneaky and sending emails to folk’s spam folders if they have ’causes’ in the subject. Hoping if you didn’t get this on Friday- you will today. Or if you did get it, you don’t mind seeing it again. Thanks!

September is Childhood Cancer Awareness Month.

“cancer is still the second leading cause of death in children younger than 15 years old (after accidents). About 1,340 children are expected to die from cancer in 2012.” (American Cancer Society) Does that not scare the shit out of you?? It does me.

How many people do you know who have or have had cancer? How many children do you know who have or have had cancer?

Sadly, my answer is 3. I know personally, 3 children that have had cancer. Two of them passed away. One of them is thriving today.

The way it comes into their lives and moves in like a horrible house guest, turns lives upside down.

I hope you’ve been reading Donna’s storyMary Tyler Mom is a writer the Huffington Post is featuring all this month. Her daughter, Donna, passed away in 2009 from a brain tumor. Thirty-one entries of what that family went through. We’re on day 7 today. I’m on the edge of my seat when I read it, barely breathing, thinking of what they endured.

My friend Christin’s son Kyle, passed away of a brain tumor in 2009. He battled for more than 2 years. He made it to his 8th birthday, and then slipped away soon after. Kyle defied all statistics. Most kids battling his kind of tumor only last a year, maybe 18 months. He lasted longer. Kyle was one of those kids you don’t forget about. We honor him every year in the Run of Hope in Seattle through Children’s Hospital. And we remember his birthday on January 17th as ice cream day. You are allowed to give your kids, and yourself, ice cream for breakfast, lunch and dinner. Because Kyle was smart that way. He knew how to live to the fullest, even if that meant dessert first!

This is the video they played at Kyle’s memorial that a friend of the family put together. I watched it recently and after 3 years, it still brings me to sobs. Please watch, but be ready with kleenex. http://vimeo.com/3262788 (copy and past the URL in your browser, or go to Kyle’s blog I have linked below.)

My friends the Shah’s daughter, Siona, passed away New Year’s Day, 2011 after her battle with leukemia. She was 6. 6 years old. She hadn’t even had a chance to go to Kindergarten. She was diagnosed soon after she turned 4 and those 2 years were spent battling for her life. They thought she had the ‘good’ kind of leukemia. The kind where kids recover and bounce back. When the cancer returned during the spring of 2010, we were in shock and disbelief. Within a year she was gone. Even after a valiant effort at St. Jude’s.  Siona wanted to have Christmas. Her doctors told her family to move it up on the calendar. They kept it on the 25th like it is. And she enjoyed every part of that Christmas.

My friends the Lefkows found out about their daughter, Ashely’s leukemia in 2009. She had the ‘good’ kind too. Thankful for them, she is a thriving 1st grader who was on the swim team this summer and loves building Legos with her brother and dressing up with her girlfriends. I wrote about the Lefkow’s journey here, and how glad we were when she finished her treatment in December.

I will have each mom (Kyle’s, Ashley’s, and Siona’s) write a piece for my blog this month so you can read their words. Unless you’ve lived it, you can’t imagine it.

We need to spread the word. A statistic says that in the past 20 years, only one new cancer drug has been improved for pediatric cancer. This is unacceptable!!

I won’t make this political, but for example, wouldn’t the billions of dollars being spent on this year’s campaigns be better used for cures and research? Makes me sick!

I wish I could say that I won’t know any more children who will have cancer. I won’t know any more families who have to go through this. Dear God, not mine! Right? Isn’t that what you’re thinking? It could be anyone. We can’t put a bike helmet on or knee pads to prevent it. We can’t keep our kids from junk food or too much TV, or buckle them in any safer in their car seat or have them take their cell phone going to their friend’s house. It just happens. Cancer just happens.

So share, spread, speak. We need to save our children.

For Donna, Kyle, Siona and Ashley, and many, many more.

Donna’s Cancer Story- read here

Kyle’s Blog- read here

The Girl with the Anus Tattoo (NSFW)

It’s not a tattoo OF an anus people. It’s a tattoo ON her anus. And no, it’s not a brown star. It’s a guy’s name. Or two guys’ names. I lost track.

I just learned that NSFW means, Not Suitable For Work. Of course, I’m a SAHM (Stay at Home Mom) so I should have a NSFK warning. Not Suitable for Kids- if you wondered.

Because the words ‘anal tattoo’ in the headline wasn’t clue enough that this is something you SHOULDN’T be reading with your boss ( or kids) hovering over your shoulder.

So the article, and video, yes, video people, shows this girl having a tattoo needled onto her anus, butt hole, poop maker, in PUBLIC. PUBLIC.  I don’t have any tattoos. I’m too chicken. And I can’t commit to what kind of bedroom furniture I want, let alone, permanent ink on my body. If at 18 I had gotten a tattoo, it would have been something stupid like, a lipstick tube or a clown. I don’t know. Just glad I didn’t make that mistake.

Reading the full article and watching the video horrifies and saddens me at the same time.

I know people do interesting things with their body parts. Nipple piercings, labia piercings. Tattoos on their privates. Sure. Whatever you fancy. The anus is/can be, an erogenous zone. I’m not really ‘going there’, but I get that there’s stuff people do.

Bending over and having someone tattoo my hemorrhoid zone- ISN’T ONE OF THEM!

This girl is fucked up. Plain and simple. She has been abused, jailed, messed with. I realize she comes from a place I will never know. But to all the leerers, jeerers and folks oogling at this woman with her nipples taped over and her ass up for view- shame on you. Is this your daughter? Your wife? I mean, free expression is one thing. But I feel that she’s getting more of the same negative attention in her life by doing this, that she has experienced in the past. She isn’t breaking the cycle. Maybe she’ll get some money, attention, a book deal? I think she’s a good person. I just think she is going down the wrong path.

Maybe if Garry Marshall wrote the screenplay of her life, some sweet Ryan Gosling type,  would have jumped up on stage with his overcoat and whisked her away to a therapist and a spa, and a laser tattoo removal specialist. Not that she needs a guy to rescue her, it’s that she needs a man to say, ‘hey- you don’t need to tattoo my name on your rectal sphincter area for me to like you’.  And they would live happily ever after, in the ‘burbs with a dog. And she would plant things at the community garden and give the proceeds to charity….

So there’s my two cents on butt hole tattoo girl. I feel sad for her. If she has children, that butt hole might not look as pretty in the future. Or she might want to tattoo some flowers around the skin tags and hemorrhoids and episiotomy scar.

I’ll keep mine to myself, in the dark, not bleached, not tattooed, and just clean. Thanks.

Here’s the video and article:

Anal Tattoo Girl

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RTLF #10 If the Olympic announcers commentated on my daily life

After Huff Post named me as one of their top mom and dad blogs of the week, I’ve decide to repost this one. I’m good at recycling, I believe in Mother Earth, so I’m doing my part!

Huffington Post: Mom and Dad Blogs of the Week

For my Reasons To Live Friday, and I have many reasons, believe me, I’m going to have to say blogging is giving me more reasons. I love the folks I’ve met online, the community of bloggers, and even friends and neighbors who reach out to me because of it.

Thanks for reading and supporting me too!

 

 

***********

 

I have watched the Olympics all my life. I remember Nadia Comaneci, Mary Lou Retton, and even Kerri Strugg. Those are gymnasts by the way, in case you haven’t followed the Games like I have.

Now I’m watching with my kids. And every night before I go to bed. I LOVE the Olympics. But the gymnastics on until fucking midnight is not doing me any favors. I have Al Trautwig’s voice in my head throughout the day. Tim Daggett and Elfi Schlegel are like my inner voice. These gymnasts are doing fucking amazeballs skills on 4 inches of  beam, a floor, some high bars. I mean come on. They’re all like, ‘oh, did you see the bobble?’, ‘that little step to the side will cost her gold’.  Stuff like that.

Could you guys look a little more excited?

I can only imagine if they followed me around all day and gave color commentary on everything I do. It would go something like this:

Me getting out of bed, creaky on my feat and hobbling from soon- to-be 40 joints.

Elfi- “This is not one of her strong routines. She’s looking slower and tired each morning. The alarm has gone off and she’s a little slow out of the gate. This will be a two-tenths deduction.”

Al- “Do you think that the years are starting to take a toll on her? This isn’t some 28 year old first time mom anymore. She’s a veteran now in her age bracket.’

Me putting on the kettle to make my tea, getting out my thyroid meds, the cat food and letting out the dog to go pee.

Tim- “She used to not have to take so many medications. I think she knows she’s slowing down, but still hanging in there. If you think this is something new in this year’s routine, wait until you see all the vitamins, chia seeds, and crazy green stuff she drinks to keep her edge.”

Me spilling tea on my t-shirt.

Elfi- “Her skills walking and drinking are almost always clean. Ooh, a little bobble there. That’ll be a one-tenth deduction. If she wants to stay clean until her cup of coffee after 2nd breakfast, she’s going to have to tighten her game here.”

Me scooping the cat box.

Al- “This is the kind of thing she dreamed of as a kid. She always wanted pets. Remember, she was the one who didn’t want the dog. But realized scooping cat poop is no fun either. I see no no clumps have been left behind, this will score well with the judges. And here comes the cat…”

Me getting in my skinny jeans.

Tim- “She always has such heart with every performance. Don’t ignore the fact that these jeans are out of the dryer. The difficulty in this routine is so much higher than the other moms who just slap on a pair of yoga pants. She’s getting in them…look at her squeeze into them! But she nailed the landing, she’s going to win favor over the judges for sure!”

Have you been keeping track of my deductions? I think I’m somewhere around a score of 8.5 right? Not bad I guess.

Someone out there must think I’m a 10.

Excuse me, I just sneezed-

Tim- “She bobbled a little there, well, actually, she dribbled a little with that sneeze. That’s a two-tenths deduction for sure just wetting her pants like that. This is what separates the older competitors from the younger ones. She’ll be back in the gym with those kegels for sure after this.”

Controversey alert!! I pissed someone off.

Fried chicken, gay marriage and lap bands.

The other day I posted this article from the Huff Post on my Facebook blog page Chick Fil A – Anti-Gay - Sure it’s a little slanted view of the story. It’s a blog post on the Huff Post. What do you expect?

I figured any of my gay friends and family of gay friends would want to know that if they eat at this restaurant, their money is going to groups that want to prevent them from being married. My best friend is a lesbian. Her and her wife have a better relationship than most of the straight couples I know. End of story. I support equal rights for gay people. ALL people, for that matter!

I am also a Christian. You can tell me the Bible doesn’t allow homosexuality. The Bible also doesn’t allow tattoos, mixed fibers in our garments, shell fish, women to speak in church, marry slaves, or males to cut their hair before a certain age. Do we still follow these rules? Not many of us, I’m sure. I also don’t go into a tent when I’m on the rag and burn a pigeon when my courses have stopped that I bring to my pastor. You get my point. I find the gay marriage in the bible argument futile. I think people are just uncomfortable with things different to them and find ways to hide behind rules and restrictions. Does everyone that lives under our government follow the Bible? No. Let’s be consistent here folks.

Do pedophiles get to marry? Adulterers? Rapists? The answer is yes.  Do I make myself clear?

This blog isn’t to persuade you to support gay marriage. I don’t want to push religion, politics or anything like that down someone’s throat, I’m not going to argue to change your mind, or whatever. It’s just like a dog chasing their tail. You’re not going to get anywhere. I’m giving you my perspective.

My point really, I guess, is manners. Good human decency. And also, understanding. I seriously think people have stopped using their brain cells. They just get heated up and start spewing senseless words to try to get their point across. It’s the closest thing I’ve come to living a Real Housewives of Orange County episode. Where the safety of the internet is used as a shield to ‘yell’ at people things you wouldn’t say at a cocktail party. Only on that show, they will yell at you at a cocktail party.

This is Vickie. Vickie screams a lot when she gets angry. She’ll yell at you for sure.

Immediately after posting this Huff Post article on my Facebook page, one particular woman asked if I’m telling people not to go to Chick Fil A because it supports a man and a woman being married. I said, ” if you don’t agree then that’s your prerogative. I however support marriage rights for all, if others on MY page do too, I thought this would be useful information for them. That is all.” (this is not my personal page, remember, so I don’t know this person.)

She then said,

“YOU are spreading hate waaaaaay more than chick-fil-a did.” (direct quotes copied and pasted from the comment thread on my Facebook page)

Me? Little ol’ me? Because I merely posted an article for people to form their OWN opinion, I’m now spreading hate. OKAYY then.

The part that really riled me up comes next:

A comment from a fellow blogger What I Had Really Meant to Say went something like this- “ever since my lap band, I can’t keep it down, so I don’t go there anymore (to Chick Fil A)”

To which my female commenter said, “you have a lapband and you eat fast food? can you not control yourself? Is that why you had to have surgery to stop eating so much? (you can be a bigoted ass, so can I)”

HMM? Well, lady- NEWSFLASH- Not on MY page you can’t! You disagree with me, fine. You attack someone’s personal revelation of a medical procedure? Whoa, you’ve just jumped the line to RUDE. DISRESPECTFUL. DISGRACEFUL.

Which I then responded with “I haven’t said anything hateful, I have expressed an opinion. Please don’t criticize or judge others on my page. MY opinion is okay because it’s MY page. Chick fil A can do what they want. And as a consumer, I can choose not to support them.”

She then continued to call us all bigots and I warned her to leave my page if she didn’t play nice. She, very much in a playground sort of way, said, “Fine, I’ve ‘unliked’ you already”. Which I guess is her way of not saving me a place at lunch in the cafeteria before recess. Boo hoo, remind me to be sad. (sarcasm folks)

So – here is my point-( sorry, a million words later!)

I think if she said something ENTIRELY different, I would’ve engaged her in a pleasant conversation. One which goes like,
“I’m sorry you feel this way. I didn’t see this article as accurate. I will support eating there anyway.”

To which I would have said, “Thank you for your understanding. We can agree to disagree.”

Well, okay, that’s kind of a Utopian dialogue, but do you see where I’m going with this? She went from 0 to 60 in like 2 seconds flat. She immediately started insulting me and other followers commenting. That is a no-no.

Part of me regrets even posting the article in the first place. I HATE conflict. But then most of me thought to myself, that I have to stand my ground. I will stand politely, with dignity and compassion. But I’m not going to be yelled at (through a key board) or insulted. I know that politics and religion are fodder for much controversy. But not speaking, being apathetic, is frightening to me.

I would like to clarify a few things.

The definition of bigot- Taken from Dictionary.com-

a person who is intolerant of any ideas other than his or her own, esp on religion, politics, or race

The definition of civil rights- Taken from Dictionary.com-

1.rights to personal liberty established by the 13th and 14th Amendments to the U.S. constitution and certain Congressional acts, especially as applied to an individual or a minority group.

2.the rights to full legal, social, and economic equality extended to blacks.

Let’s fill in the blanks to this sentence.
“I have no problem with __________________. I just don’t think it’s okay they get married or have the same rights as I do.” 
I’m not okay with this.
I’m a bigot because I support someone else to have the same rights as me? Weird. That wasn’t how I saw it.
Stuff like this always shakes me to my core. Makes me doubt myself. But thanks to lots of others coming to my defense, I felt good about all the positive that comes with my blogging and Facebook page posts.
Will I post things again that are controversial? Probably. Sometimes people can pick an issue with ANYTHING. Once I wrote a Facebook post about being careful out in the sun. An entire debate about SPF and Vitamin D ensued somewhat passionately. Really folks? Why so negative?
You may have noticed a badge on my site called “The Mom Pledge”. I took The Mom Pledge awhile back after reading another blogger discuss their troll, so I posted- I’m Afraid of Trolls. I haven’t even been doing this for a year folks. I don’t get paid. I don’t look for ‘fame’. It’s just me. Take it or leave it. And if you leave it, please don’t throw shit on your way out.
There are three things in life that are most important- to be kind, to be kind, and to be kind. ~Mother Theresa
Well, I hope I haven’t pissed you off too much.
Peace. Really. Peace.