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Mother’s Day Gift Ideas

It’s that time fellas, daughters, sons- mom needs a gift. Sure, you can go buy her a box of chocolates at Rite-Aid that you picked up on your way home from work, be sure to include the inflatable foot bath. Or you can get something a little more awesomer and then she’ll know you appreciate all the work she does washing your socks and wiping the toilet seat.

These items are my own personal favorites. I have experienced these products for myself or found out about them and want them in my life. In the end, if you want to make a macaroni necklace with a hand print and call it good- I’m fine with that too.

Jord Wood Watches

It’s a watch made out of wood. Yep. And it’s lightweight, comfortable and completely handsome for both a Mother’s day gift, anniversary or birthday gift. You want something that’s treasured, smart and wears beautifully? It’s a Jord watch.

When my Jord watch came and I unwrapped it, McSweetie said, “oh, I’m jealous.”  The best part- they sized it for me before they sent it!

Jord Wood Watches Sully Timepiece in Cherry

Jord Wood Watch Sully Timepiece in Cherry

I recommend this for Father’s day too- especially for the guy who has everything. Why not something really unique?

What about the woman who likes to be pampered? Hmm, well if you have a hard to please matriarch in your family, how about Spoil?

https://www.spoil.io/

https://www.spoil.io/

You’ve seen subscription boxes all over the place. You can get meals, you can get pet supplies, makeup, period boxes (yes, that’s right) and snacks delivered every month. But, what about a gift box for Mother’s day delivered with exquisite items beautifully tucked in a package and sent to your mom like she is the Duchess Cate Middleton, herself? Yeah.  It’s called Spoil. If you need a fabulous gift for a different occasion, they have that too. Plus they have a discount for my readers! Enter “FRUGIE” at checkout.

Spoil Box for Mother's Day

Spoil Box for Mother’s Day

 

In the interest of doing for others, isn’t that what our moms always taught us? I want to share the company Women for Women International. If it is too much for your budget to sponsor a ‘sister’ each month, there’s an opportunity to purchase much needed supplies for a mother in Rwanda, the Congo and Afghanistan to name a few. If your own mom has enough tchotchkes and scarves or jewelry but has a calling to do something good and better in this world- think of what a baking basket or seeds could do for a woman providing an income for her family in a developing nation. From goats to seed packets, you can shop for a mother across the world and share it in honor of your own mother. She’ll be so proud.

Bakery Basket on womenforwomen.org

Bakery Basket on womenforwomen.org

 

Vegetable seeds for 30 acres womenforwomen.org

Vegetable seeds for 30 acres
womenforwomen.org

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

And of course, for the sassy and funny mom in your life, who wouldn’t want the anthology I Still Just Want To Pee Alone?

 

Buy her all three! I Just Want To Pee Alone (a NYT best seller!), I Just Want To Be Alone, and I Still Just Want To Pee Alone.

Look how pretty! Thanks letmestartbysaying.com for the awesome graphic

Look how pretty!
Thanks letmestartbysayingblog.com for the awesome graphic

And then actually give mom a few hours peace!

 

Disclaimer: The opinions in this post are all mine and I wasn’t paid for any of it.

 

 

I’m still not peeing alone- and that’s OK

Did you know that even when your children are 11 and 14 they will still come and bother you in the bathroom?

Yes, they will.

And you know what else? When they don’t come bother you in the bathroom, the pets will. The dog and cat sometimes join in together to sniff around my underpants at my ankles, sit on the counter and watch me do things, and then pop their head in the bowl to watch a swirly. I mean, it’s a good thing I’m a people person. Or animal person. Otherwise I might have kicked everyone out (of the house mind you) years ago.

But  that’s OK. You know why? Because ahh, motherhood. I’m blessed to have two adoring children I have brought forth from my (tender) loins that I have pretty much signed a contractual agreement in blood that says, I will never have privacy again.

It means, that if someone is actually IN the house, they will most likely need me to find their sock, locate their iPhone, or not know how to open a box of cereal, and they will come to me while I’m in an otherwise indisposed disposition.

And I know I’m not the only one in this No Privacy ship. So let’s all commiserate together-

Frugalista Blog in I Still Just Want to Pee Alone the book

So I bring to you the sequel to I Just Want to Pee Alone (now a NYT best seller!) –

I STILL JUST WANT TO PEE ALONE

Yes folks. An entirely new collection of kick ass mom stories and hilarious anecdotes, and some tear jerkers too, of motherhood and womanhood.

Some authors are from the first book, like me. And some others, are new and you might not have heard of their blogs and you will be forever grateful to find new and refreshing voices to laugh at (or with) and be inspired by. Or you’ll know these bloggers and be all, “hot damn, ’bout time she’s in a book!”

Now, do yourself a solid and go and get the book.

Amazon

iTunes

Barnes & Noble

Or, you can come to my house and by one from my hot little hand. I accept cash.

All the awesome contributors to this book-

Jen Mann of People I Want to Punch in the Throat

Bethany Kriger Thies of Bad Parenting Moments

Kim Bongiorno of Let Me Start By Saying

Alyson Herzig of The Shitastrophy

JD Bailey of Honest Mom

Kathryn Leehane of Foxy Wine Pocket

Suzanne Fleet of Toulouse and Tonic

Nicole Leigh Shaw of Nicole Leigh Shaw, Tyop Aretist

Meredith Spidel of The Mom of the Year

Rebecca Gallagher of Frugalista Blog

Rita Templeton of Fighting off Frumpy

Darcy Perdu of So Then Stories

Christine Burke of Keeper of The Fruit Loops

Amy Flory of Funny Is Family

Robyn Welling of Hollow Tree Ventures

Sarah del Rio of est. 1975

Amanda Mushro of Questionable Choices in Parenting

Jennifer Hicks of Real Life Parenting

Courtney Fitzgerald of Our Small Moments

Lola Lolita of Sammiches and Psych Meds

Victoria Fedden of Wide Lawns and Narrow Minds

Keesha Beckford of Mom’s New Stage

Stacia Ellermeier of Dried-on Milk

Ashley Allen of Big Top Family

Meredith Bland of Pile of Babies

Harmony Hobbs of Modern Mommy Madness

Janel Mills of 649.133: Girls, the Care and Maintenance Of

Kim Forde of The Fordeville Diaries

Stacey Gill of One Funny Motha

Beth Caldwell of The Cult of Perfect Motherhood

Sarah Cottrell of Housewife Plus

Michelle Back of Mommy Back Talk

Tracy Sano of Tracy on the Rocks

Linda Roy of elleroy was here

Michelle Poston Combs of Rubber Shoes In Hell

Susan Lee Maccarelli of Pecked To Death By Chickens

Vicki Lesage of Life, Love, and Sarcasm in Paris

Kris Amels of Why, Mommy?

Mackenzie Cheeseman of Is there cheese in it?

Tracy DeBlois of Orange & Silver

 

Mom turned author reaches New York Times best seller list with humor anthology

Yeah!

How do you like them apples?

I’m a best selling New York Times author. Our little book, I Just Want To Pee Alone, made the list in the Family category. A few notches down from the classic “Go The F*ck to Sleep”. Because family.

I Just Want To Pee Alone NYT Best seller

I Just Want to Pee Alone on Amazon NYT best seller

You want to know why this is a big deal? One- New York Times baby. Duh. And two- Self published anthology of a bunch of kick ass mom bloggers. Yeah. That’s right. We go from soccer practice, PTA meetings, minivan carpools and Saturday nights with laundry to being national best selling authors.

The American dream folks.

So I could go on an on about my excitement level, but honestly, I have laundry to fold and dishes to do.

Two years ago when we first hit the charts, we booted Tina Fey’s BossyPants from her #1 spot on iTunes. Now we’ve got the big apple to put in our belt notch.

This calls for some celebrating. And if you haven’t ordered the book yet- now is the time! Click here to go to Amazon.

 

P.S. The sequel drops Friday. BOOYAH! Call the police and the firemen, too hot, hot damn. Girl sing your Hallelujahs. (Some Bruno Mars lyrics for you there.)

 

 

 

2013- The Year of the Book

Author! Author! Read all about it. It’s hard to believe that this was the year I became a published author. What. The. Hell? No, really, I’m cool with it.

But not only did I want to remind you if you haven’t already picked up your copy of I Just Want To Pee Alone and You Have Lipstick On Your Teeth, but to point out some other hilarious authors that made 2013 the year of THEIR book.

To begin-

Moms Who Drink And Swear by Nikki Knepper. I met Nikki this spring at MamaCon and then again in Chicago at BlogHer. Nikki is love and sweetness and sass and wicked smarts wrapped up in a 5’3″ package of F-bombs and tequila shots. Her book is entertaining, hilarious and poignant. Without sounding contrite, it will make you laugh and it will make you cry. Nikki grabs you by the balls and doesn’t let go. She believes in the power of friendships and venting. I love her. I think you will too.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Next-from Paige Kellerman, writer/humorist comes- At Least My Belly Hides My Cankles. Paige finds out she’s pregnant with twins and her journey of incontinence, gestational diabetes and well, cankles, will have you having your own bouts of incontinence by laughter. I know Paige and follow her blog and her Facebook page. Every freaking time I read something of hers I guffaw loudly. It might annoy those around me, but I don’t care.  And I love any woman who owns her relationship with her cankles.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Then-

Remember my review of I Heart My Little A-holes by Karen Alpert of Baby Sideburns fame? This woman is on fire. I first reviewed this self-published tome of hilarity back in the fall and whattdya know, she’s already got a publishing deal with Harper Collins and a re-release of the book this spring, and she made the NY Times best seller list. Obviously this book is freaking funny about all things ugly, funny and wonderful about being a mom. No sugar coating here. Give this book to any expecting parents and parenting delusions will go out the window.

 

 

 

I’m recommending these books because 1) I read them and laughed my ass off. 2) I know the authors and their blogs and 3) know you will be tremendously entertained like I was. This post is not sponsored by them in any way. I wrote it because they are awesome and that is all. Happy New Year! And here’s to more funny stuff in 2014.

2013 The Year of the Book- books you should read

What I learned from Guy Kawasaki

When the first self-published anthology, I Just Want To Pee Alone, I contributed for became a best seller on Amazon and iTunes, I was getting a lot of praise from friends and family. Neighbors were telling me how cool it was.

I would always thank them, and then add, “Oh, it’s no big deal, it’s just a self-published work that I’m a contributor for.”

Seems reasonable right? I mean, I didn’t get a book deal with a major publishing house, I didn’t put forth the thousands of dollars that got it self-published in the first place, AND, I just wrote a little essay that is one of the chapters. It wasn’t THAT hard.

Well, fast forward to BlogHer 2013 and I had an a-ha moment. An epiphany of self-worth.

Guy Kawasaki was the keynote speaker. He is a self-published, social media guru. He has over a million twitter followers and is an entrepreneur and has a book out called APE – Author Publisher Entrepreneur, as well as 11 other books. He knows a little bit about self-publishing, let’s just say that.

After he was speaking that afternoon, I was probably more interested in running to the Expo Hall for more free moisturizer from the CVS booth. But later that night it sunk in. Not the moisturizer. Guy’s words.

I will STOP APOLOGIZING FOR BEING SELF-PUBLISHED.

When he said that you wouldn’t discredit a baker for opening their own pastry shop instead of going off to work for Hostess, it made perfect sense.

Add that to what I learned from Jen of People I Want To Punch in the Throat at her break out session she lead with Robin O’Bryant of Ketchup is a Vegetable and Lela Davidson of Blacklisted from the PTA,  I was feeling pretty good about myself! Not only did I Just Want To Pee Alone do well among blogger self-published works, but even beat some big name best sellers that get fancy pants publishers to promote them.

These three  explained the self published pathway can be better than the fancy book deal publishing pathway. Doing what you want and using your fan following from your blog to drive up book sales is sometimes more effective than hoping a major publisher will promote you successfully. Don’t get me wrong- a book deal with a publisher is something I would still go for!

What does all this mean?

It means that I will not make excuses about my success anymore. Sure, I can say that I’m a published author now. That I can add to my writing resume and be proud. But,  I’m still dodging boogers from the Boy and scooping cat poop. I’m still driving my 10 year old + minivan. Sure. I haven’t gotten a housekeeper- yet.

But take away the dog hair and dust bunnies, I never thought this possible a year ago. Now, my little blog is no longer just a distraction from dinner making and carpool. It’s my job.

When people ask me, ‘oh do you work?’ I will now say ‘yes, I’m a writer, author and blogger.’

Bam! Are my author accolades a collaborative effort with about 75 other women? Yes. But so is anything in life, right? We support each other, promote each other and cheer for each other. It’s a win-win.

Now with my second anthology out, You Have Lipstick On Your Teeth, and it’s kicking butt on Amazon as well, I have even more to be proud of.

I will always credit Jen and Leslie, my editors extraordinaire on their risk and hard work, absolutely! And thank them forever that they gave me a chance. But I will take more ownership of where I’ve come thus far, and what it could mean for where I’m heading.

Friends have asked me if I’ll be getting a book deal of my own one of these days. I’m not sure. I would jump at the chance. I might also swim in the self publishing waters all by my lonesome. No floaties from an anthology or a collaboration- just little ol’ me. I would also jump at the chance of my own TV show. Hint. Hint. Ellen…. are you reading? Anyone?

I want your takeaway from this post to be- don’t make excuses or apologies for your work. Own it. And if you’ve got it in you- self-publish. You’ll be glad you did.

Now go buy these books!

 

I Just Want To Pee Alone- Chicago Book Signing Event – Have you gotten your tickets yet?

Reminder- last few days to get tickets. Please come- I want to see you!!!

This is so much coolness my head might explode.

I’m calling this part of my official book tour. I’m like Chelsea Handler, or Carrie Fisher. Maybe a little of both but with less booze and pills in my system.

I’m gonna be in Chicago with 14 of the authors of I Just Want To Pee Alone and we’re doing a book signing!

Buy your tickets for July 26; 7-10pm, for $15. That ticket gets you a book and a drink.

  • RSVP here on the event page on Facebook.
  • Buy your tickets on PayPal here
  • Tell all your friends so they can come too!
  • Do it now before the tickets sell out!
  • Comment below so I know you’re coming and can wave spazztically at you when I see you; or hug you awkwardly and smell your hair.

 

Oh my gosh, I’m so excited to see you there. If you’re attending BlogHer already, you have to come!

And if you’re related to me or have known me since before puberty, you have to come too!

Yes, I will be reading from the book. And maybe I’ll share another humiliating story about my marriage.

 

Don’t forget- tomorrow night- Seattle area book signing!

Just a reminder about tomorrow’s book signing. Hope you can make it!!

 

 

Last week I wrote about the most epic of book signings- you can read about that here. That one is in Chicago in July. Got it? Chicago. July.

But tomorrow night there will be a book signing HERE in Seattle!! Okay, not in Seattle. About 20 minutes southeast of Seattle, but kinda the same.

Another co-author of I Just Want To Pee Alone, Kristen from Life on Peanut Layne, will join me, and the two of us will hug you and smell your hair, and sign your books or your boobs, or probably just your books, and it will be so much fun!

Here’s the deets-

C’est La Vie at the Renton Landing (right off of I-405)

Friday, June 28th, 5- 7pm

911 N. 10th Pl., Suite C
Renton, WA 98057
(425) 988-3625

Bring your books, or buy a copy there. This is an adorable shop with gifts, women’s clothes, accessories and home decor. You will want to shop and party!

Feel free to RSVP to the event here  on Facebook, so we know how much wine to buy and books to have on hand! Or just leave a comment below.

Please, please come!

Scary Mommy book review and a Mother’s Day Giveaway

 

Hey it’s Mother’s Day next week. You know what that means? Macaroni necklaces and handprint pictures that you will treasure forever. Or not.

Don’t think I’m a bitch for saying this- but sometimes for Mother’s Day, I would actually like a present that isn’t an outline of my child’s hand, or I don’t know, a shower head fixture. Now that the kids are older, I don’t get many egg crate jewelry boxes or seashell decoupages. And not to say I didn’t enjoy the ones I did get in my past. I did. I remember vividly tearing up at the hand print poem Owen gave me the Mother’s day he was in Kindergarten. It was precious. And I understand that McSweetie doesn’t really know what to do with Mother’s day anyway. Do I get a simple bouquet of flowers and call it good? Or do I need a giant diamond pendant that signifies all the fabulous things I do each and every day?

Well, neither.

I think flowers are a rip-off at Mother’s Day. They jack up the prices. And a giant diamond pendant is a little ridiculous. Just a little. A medium-sized diamond pendant wouldn’t be that ridiculous though…

So let’s be real here. We want to share all the real things we love and hate about Mother’s Day. You know there are those things that suck about it! And I thought what would be more perfect than a review of an awesome new book. Recently, I got the privilege of a copy of the new book Scary Mommy; Motherhood Comes Naturally  (and Other Vicious Lies) by Jill Smokler. I was tickled that I got a preview of the book from her publisher and I couldn’t wait to share my book review with you. It does not disappoint.

If you come from the point of view that motherhood isn’t all baby powder freshness and cooing lullabies, you will love Jill’s book. This is a second installment of her Scary Mommy tales. All I can say is, where was this woman when Emma was a baby?

Some Scary Mommy Confessions you can probably relate to:

“I beat my kids at Super Mario Bros. and proceeded to do a victory dance that made them all cry. Whoops.”

“For Mother’s Day, I will trim my pubes. And then I’ll pleasure myself while fantasizing about child-free days, endless bottles of wine, and the time when my husband was actually sexy.”

And my favorite-

“For years we’ve been assuming our daughter is just in an annoying phase. Turns out, she’s actually just really annoying.”

 

So for all you hard working, (every mom is a working mom) tireless, selfless mothers out there- I’m doing something special.

Enter for a chance to win a copy of Motherhood Comes Naturally (and Other Vicious Lies) by Jill Smokler, and I will throw in a copy of I Just Want To Pee Alone! As a bonus giveaway- if you prove in the comments with a link to a social media site that you told your friends about Scary Mommy’s book, I will randomly select a winner for something special by ME! No macaroni necklaces here, this will be a great load of loot, I promise.

Jill has been crazy busy promoting her book on the Today show and is starting a book tour- Find her cities here. 

I want to help her sell a ton of books. She has three kids to put through college people- or pay for therapy, either way.

So enter and share!
a Rafflecopter giveaway

I Just Want To Pee Alone on Evening Magazine

You got that right. If you read that title above it sounds like I want to pee alone on a TV show. No. It’s the book is on a TV show!!

Reporter Kim Holcomb and cameraman Howard from KING 5 news came to my house to tape a segment for local television. They were awesome and funny and Kim wore a super cute polka dot blouse. She did. When I opened my front door for her and cameraman Howard, I said, “Oh my gosh, you look so cute!” I hope Kim knew I meant her blouse, and Howard didn’t think I was flirting with him. Hmm… I never thought of that.

They wanted natural home stuff. You know, life as it is every day. I got to empty and load the dishwasher and Owen and James kicked the soccer ball. Emma was on the lap top and I did lots of ‘typing at my computer’ shots. I offered to scoop the cat box, but that didn’t make for such great TV. Hey- they wanted real, so I offered real.

I’m so glad I got a manicure that week with all those typing shots.

It was a gorgeous sunny day. But don’t let that fool you. No. Cameraman Howard closed the blinds then added these giant lights on stands. Apparently natural isn’t always good enough for television.

Then Kim shared with me that she’s interviewed Daniel Craig twice. Twice. Her impression of him- polite, but doesn’t enjoy press junkets. Not very personable. Okay, I can understand that.

Not everyone can be so giggly and sweet like me.

Seriously. I giggle the entire piece, you’ll hear. Also, I don’t always end my sentences. It’s a habit I have. I can’t seem to finish my thoughts with words or something.

And for the record- I don’t want Gwyneth to play me in the movie version. That was sarcasm that Kim didn’t pick up on. I want Amy Poehler or Kristen Wiig to play me in the movie version.

Mostly, what’s important about this TV piece is, you need to buy the book. (on Amazon, see my side bar)  And you need to tell your friends to buy the book.

What good would media promotion be for a book if you didn’t buy it?

Some notes; My house looks cleaner on television than it is in real life. I have too many mugs that don’t all fit in my cupboards, that’s why I have to stack them. I didn’t realize I had a double chin until I saw it on TV. Also, special mention needs to be made that isn’t in the video, Jen from People I Want To Punch in the Throat is the band leader of all this craziness. Without her, we wouldn’t have the book.

So enjoy the clip.