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I wish Lindsay Lohan the best.


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You know what? You might be surprised that I’m not going to go all snarky on Miss Lohan. No. I’m going to send her encouraging, compassionate, sober vibes.

Because Katy at I Want A Dumpster Baby has taught me something. Addiction comes in many people. Pretty people. Smart people. Privileged people. Poor people. Snobby people. All of them deserve a second chance.

Or a 6th chance. Yes, on May 1st, LL has to check into rehab for the 6th TIME! She is only 26 years old. Late night TV, Twitter, and even myself have been guilty of putting LL at the butt of our jokes. “She’s a train wreck.” or “April Fools joke LL is pregnant, what could be worse?” or “She’s dating Charlie Sheen, a match made in heaven.”  But I’ve had a change of heart.

Most recently was her appearance on David Letterman. He asked point-blank about what her addictions are, when she is going to rehab and how she’s been in rehab before. I don’t think he was being spiteful or ironic. He seemed genuinely interested and concerned. She appeared taken aback and nervous. She even said ‘this wasn’t in the pre-interview’. She squirmed in her chair and looked to her right. Maybe to her publicist? And maybe some would say that’s a low blow on Letterman’s part. I think it was smart. It called her out on the elephant in the room. I think that’s one of the worst things about addicts and the people around them. They walk on eggshells about their sobriety struggle. But what Katy taught me is, it’s empowering to be open with your sobriety struggle.

You can see Lindsay, here in this clip-http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/04/10/lindsay-lohan-david-letterman-video_n_3050160.htm

She’s got some witty comebacks for Dave!

 

And then it hit me. This poor girl. She probably only wants to be sober. She just doesn’t know how. I remember Robert Downey Jr. in one of his court appearances I saw on one of the entertainment shows. He said to the judge, ‘It’s like I have a loaded gun in my mouth and my finger’s on the trigger, and I like the taste of the gunmetal.’ 

I hope LL can learn from RDJ. I hope she can want sobriety bad enough to know that the opposite isn’t worth it.

I don’t come from a background of addiction. It really isn’t in my family. I have known friends in rehab. Happily, several of them are successful in their recovery. Living with it, owning it, and choosing to be sober. I’m so happy for them.

But it really wasn’t until I started reading IWADB’s blog and how she shares her struggles of being sober EVERY. SINGLE. DAY. Once an alcoholic, always an alcoholic. Or drug addict. Or whatever.

I thought of my own children. I hope the path they choose is a sober one. I thought of what Lindsay has been through watching her parents fight over her and her siblings. Using them as pawns for their own demons. Shame on them. I don’t know the extent of what that environment did for her, but I do remember enjoying her as a child actor very much, and then seeing her downward spiral splayed all over the magazine covers in the grocery store.

I think of Emma. She’s beautiful, talented, witty and freakin’ smart. She wants to act. She wants to be on Broadway or in movies. She’s like me. She wants to entertain. She feels happy and at home on stage or in front of a camera. Would it be nice to make a living doing it? Heck yes.

But if opportunity came knocking and we took it, and let’s say at a tender age of 18 or so, her life isn’t necessarily in my hands anymore. I don’t know what choices she’ll make. Even children of happy, stable, good parents, make bad decisions. And become addicts. Right Katy?

It scares me.

This is why I feel Lindsay needs a cheering section. People who believe in her. Who want her better. Not enablers, not yes-people, but people telling her that she can do this. That she doesn’t need to feel ashamed of her weaknesses. She needs to be honest, she needs to look in the mirror and ask herself, “what the fuck happened?” (I want to ask her why her face looks so different, but that’s another story.)

She’s a celebrity so we feel her life is different than ours. She’s rich, famous, has ‘people’ working for her. But she is human. And if we woke up tomorrow and read the headline that she OD’d, we’d feel bad, but then move on with our lives. But I don’t think that her celebrity-ness should diminish her human-ness.

So that is why I wish her the best. I hope she’s brave enough and strong enough to see her thirties.

I’m pulling for you Lindsay.

 


Reason to Live Friday #28- Hall and Oates


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Say what?

I know, you’re thinking I’m bananas.

And I am. But a friend of mine, Katy, over at the blog I Want a Dumpster Baby is having her twins this weekend. I’m a little excited. She calls them Hall and Oates. So for the last 6 months, myself, and about 20,000 other folks have been following her journey while she gestates these babies! I’m guessing there will be real names and Hall and Oates have been code names this whole time.

I wish her so much goodness as she brings those babies into the world. If you know Katy, then you know how superbly fabulous this whole occasion is. If you don’t know Katy, let me give you a quick reference guide to help you along with why she’s so awesome-

Katy has a big smile.

Katy was an alcoholic.

Katy was a homeless alcoholic living on the streets of Chicago.

Katy is now clean and sober and full of gratitude each and every day.

I first met Katy online last spring when she was talking on her page about quitting smoking. She made an electric cigarette pretty damn sexy.

Katy likes spazz dancing in elevators.

Katy likes animals so much so that she doesn’t eat them.

Katy has people who love her and these babies who will think the world of her.

Yep, these babies are being brought into the world by two very grateful, full of happy kind of people. Her husband Chris, I can only imagine, is completely strong and loving, to be with such a larger than life girl like Katy. They chose the route of IVF to have these babies so they know how absolutely precious and darned lucky this whole gig is.

So I can’t kiss Katy’s belly- she’s in Chicago and I’m over here in the rainy Northwest. So I send my love via the internet and my blog.

My Reason to Live Friday #28 is other people’s happiness and those sweet Hall & Oates babies that the world gets to meet here in a few days.

Katy- all the best my sweet. And please don’t plan on freezing your placenta for later. It’s just weird.

Spazz dances for you- MUWAH!

Everyone is talking about Kim Kardashian and if she’ll sell her pics to the press when her baby is born. I say, who cares? The only babies I’m interested in are Hall & Oates. As far as I’m concerned, no Kimye baby or even Ivy Blue has anything on these kids.

 

And then everyone knows what a big deal Katy is, so I told her so with this card:

I might have gotten a little carried away during election season.

 

 

 

 

Reasons to Live Friday

After a sad week, funerals, and friends experiencing tragedy- I’m getting out of my funk with my Top Ten List of Reasons to Live.

I Want a Dumpster Baby has been rubbing off on me with her Things I Love Thursday posts. She always gets the right perspective. So I’m going to accentuate the positive and give it my own shot at practicing gratitude.

I’ve posted before about how good I have it– about not grasping on to the past. So here’s my list of what gets me up in the morning and out of bed- my cozy down comforter bed with the heated mattress pad. So it’s pretty cozy. These things better be worth it, right?

1) My kids– DUH. Of course. But even when they don’t wake me up first, I will get up knowing that when they do show their bright, shiny faces, it’s really what life is all about. If I get a fart joke or comment from the boy, and a silly impression from the girl, then already my day has started like an episode of Saturday Night Live (the good ones that you don’t fast forward through) and I can get on with my day.

2) McSweetie– not only is he really cute and has pretty eyes, he works so hard for this family. Ever since my pregnancy with Emma, he has planned and strategized how to keep me home with the kids. Not in a ‘barefoot and pregnant, keep her in the kitchen’ way. In a ‘I know how much it means to you to be a stay at home mom, so I will make this possible’ way. And when he pisses me off for his usual slobby ways (admit it hon, you’re a slob. What with all your beard hairs and tooth paste smears on the sink, blech) I just think how hard he works and that he puts me and the kids before his own wishes.

3) Furry friends- I have a love affair with cute kitty pics on the internets. It’s a little like an addiction. And yes, as much as I complain about cat litter and pet hair (good lord, I could knit a sweater!), my pets bring me so much joy and companionship. They really are little family members. I love them SO MUCH! The dog would snuggle me all day if I let her, and she and I make great couch buddies. She is next to me snuggled under a blanket while I write this.

4) My parents- I love my mom and dad! They are amazing people. I’m so glad they live 20 minutes from me and we talk or text or email every day. Any friend of mine that meets my parents are instantly in love with them. They have compassion, empathy, respect and understanding for just about anyone they meet. They work their asses off looking after each other, taking care of my disabled adult sister that lives with them, and doting on their grand kids.

5) My brother and sister- I don’t always take the time to reach out to my siblings. My brother lives in Chicago, and my sister is disabled living at my parents. My brother is 11 years older than me and growing up I thought he was cooler than cool. We would listen to Queen records in his bedroom and he got his license when I was still in elementary school, so trips to Baskin Robbins were super fun with big bro. He would take me to movies during the summers and I got to see all the cool stuff like Grease and  Footloose (the original) before any of my friends did. My sister is very introverted, has almost a hermit-like existence. She has deteriorated some over the years and doesn’t take an interest in the kids as much as she did when they were babies. But she enjoys silly things like Twilight movies and the Royal Family and so I can always share our interests when it comes to pop culture and all things media. I remember as a little kid begging her to read my Peanuts books to me and we would spend afternoons watching Little House on the Prairie and The Brady Bunch together. Funny how memories mostly revolve around television in my years growing up!

6) My blog– I had no idea what I was getting into when I started this last year. Sometimes, it’s a bone of contention with the family. They think I spend too much time on it and ignore them. AS IF! But the community of readers and other bloggers is like a whole new family to me. Complete strangers have been so supportive of me and offering encouragement.  I love hearing what folks have to say, and when it’s compliments- that just makes me feel all warm and fuzzy. Even the criticism, which hasn’t been much thankfully, nor have I been infected with a troll, but it still makes me think outside my comfort zone and keeps me on my toes. I’m always striving for improvement.

7) Caffeinated beverages- I love my warm cups of tea and coffee throughout the day. Period.

8) The school bus– Thank God I don’t have to wrestle the school parking lot to get my kids. Having the bus come in front of the house, or in my daughter’s case, down the street; is one of life’s major conveniences. The bus drivers for us have been very courteous and consistent rule enforcers. I appreciate them getting my littles to school and back. They make my life so much easier.

9) Whole Foods– Yes, I know. It’s Whole Paycheck usually. But since my plant-based diet months ago– I’m finding that getting my groceries at Whole Foods makes meal planning and shopping fun. I can find just about anything I need, organic, even local items, and there is always a vegan alternative. I space my trips according to our budget, and when I set aside the time to go, it’s like a special field trip and I take my time perusing the aisles. It really is a happy place for me.

10) My pastor– I have the coolest pastor. My church is a Lutheran church and we’ve attended the last 14 years or so. Despite being a church of the Missouri Synod, which could be ultra conservative and restrictive- we bend the rules a tad, and let women take on many roles in the church. He never makes us feel guilty if we miss a string of Sundays. He always has the right words to counsel with. And he never mixes politics with his pulpit. I appreciate his family, his extended family, and his views on the world. I always feel better hearing the Word from him.


So there’s my top ten. And I could go on. Which is good. What a blessing it is to know my list is longer than just 10 things!

Take inventory of your top ten. Embrace them. Tell people how much they mean to you. Live today with no regrets.

Namaste.