My gals, Ellen and Erin have done a little work on Pinterest for me. While I continue to recover from my finger surgery, please enjoy the following:
Shopping can be fun, boring, necessary . . . or it can be frivolous. Let’s face it; it’s really the buying that gets us into trouble. Most of the time we are Sensible, but every once in awhile, there is that purchase that just makes us shake our heads and say,”What in the name of all that is rational were we thinking?”
Erin: We’re not talking about an impractical splurge like this:
Ellen: Yeah, these are ridiculously pricey, don’t really rock out with yoga pants, and would inflame my plantar fasciitis, but at least they can be hidden in a closet.
Erin: These shoes are so expensive I would probably have to display them on my mantle for the next decade and call them art to justify delving into the college funds for them. On second thought, my youngest is five, and they probably won’t even be using books by the time he goes.
Ellen: It’s really cute we’re talking about these shoes as a hypothetical bad purchase when I have THIS actually in my house:
Erin: That is one big, fabulous bed. I’m not seeing the problem.
Ellen: I feel like I should size the picture so that it spills over into the margins. You know, so that you get a visceral feel for how massive The Monster Bed really feels in my daughter Jellybean’s (12) room. This is as much of the bed as I could get in the frame because, as it was, my back was pressed against the wall.
Erin: But she LOVES that bed.
Ellen: But at some point she is going to move out and then we are stuck. It can’t be a guest bed, because getting into that thing as an adult is AWKWARD. The way the steps are arranged makes you have to hunch over and crawl up there like a hobbit. Grandma could never make it up there.
And it weighs a gazillion pounds. She wants her room repainted, but this bed can’t be moved. We are actually just going to paint around it. That makes me shudder.
Erin: If you squint your eyes, that idea might actually pass for Sensible. It would be easier just to deal with the wonky paint job when you finally get that thing outta there by taking a sledgehammer to it and throwing it out the window. Remind me again why you bought it?
Ellen: Well, mainly because Jellybean needed a bed since we had whisked her daybed down to the newly finished basement, but really because she fell in LOVE with it. I justified the purchase because of the storage possibilities.
Erin: Jellybean is a good girl, she deserved it. Those drawers are fabulous.
Ellen: It can’t be justified. This is what we use them for:
Erin: You know what would make you feel better? A good ol’ round of Pintershizz. There are much dumber things to buy for the home than Monster Beds that bring your children joy.
9 Things Pintershizz That Put Your Insensibility On Display
(Working Title in Japan: How to Have Fun With Grandma)
1. Actually Have Your Children Swinging From the Ceiling
Ellen: Really!?! That’s my basement.
Erin: I just thought it would be helpful to point out The Monster Bed was not alone in your house.
Ellen: Weird. Helpful is not the word that came to mind.
2. Chairs That Look Like Something the Cat Coughed Up
Erin: Okay, all poking at you aside, how about this one?
Ellen: Now that is Pintershizz! I wonder if you need a distemper shot to sit in it.
3. Chairs That Force You to Use the Words “Phallic Symbol”
Erin: Here, Grandma, we saved a special seat just for you!
Ellen: Gives a new dimension to awkward family moments.
4. Fridge of the Future
Erin: You just place your food in the gel to keep it cold. How could this not be a fabulous addition to a household with kids?
Ellen: I’m going to start working on the baby proofing for this now! We’ll be rich!
5. The Bathmat That’s Bringing The Feel of Outdoor Plumbing Back
Ellen: A bathmat for those of us who don’t have enough dirt, mold, and mildew in our bathrooms already.
Erin: Super duper shiny bright side? It can double as a litter box.
6. Because It’s Easiest to Find Pintershizz in the Bathroom
Erin: Yep, this toilet seat scale weighs you “Before” and “After.”
Ellen: Gives scientific quantification to the term “Dropping a load.” Yet another thing for Grandma to enjoy at your house.
7. When You Want Agility to Be the Gauge for Who Can Use Your Facilities
Ellen: Grandma would be s*** out of luck with this rodeo toilet.
Erin: Waa waa.
8. For the Animal Lover/Contagion Fan
Ellen: Have you ever wanted to pretend you worked in a Biohazard lab while washing your dog? Want no more!
Erin: I’m sure you could use it with kids too. Nothing wrong with wrapping your kids in plastic while lovingly bathing them.
Ellen: Plus picture this curtain WITHOUT someone’s arms in it. Opens up the opportunity to explain to Grandma why your shower curtain looks like a giant tandem prophylactic.
9. One of These Pins is Not Like the Other
Ellen: We’ve had a good time presenting home products, but sometimes you have to twist the theme to accomplish a goal: like poking fun at your blogging buddy. We began this post at my expense, but we’re ending it at Erin’s.
Erin: You do know I’m right here? What are you talking about?
Ellen: I’m referring to when you asked me where to get a laser pointer, aka “Blinding Device”.
Erin: Well, it is for Science Olympiad for my middle boys—refraction and mirrors and all that. It’s so cool . . .
Ellen: What did your homeschooling neighbor say when you asked her if she had one?
Erin: I believe her exact words were, “Are you crazy!?!”
Ellen: Well I found the pointer for you. If you’re going to go that way, you might as well go full on Pintershizz.
Ellen: Just tell the boys not to run with them. I’m sure it’ll be fine.
-Ellen and Erin
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Ellen Williams and Erin Dymowski are the dynamic writing duo sharing the blog, The Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms, but they don’t share everything. Erin has 5 kids with her husband Steve and Ellen has two kids with her husband Frank. They’ve got parenting covered from kindergarten to high school. Their blog is like a good Girls’ Night Out conversation: full of shared stories, advice, book recommendations, and recipes; dosed heavily with humor and a dash of snark; and sprinkled with truth and honesty softened with sweetness. They are Pinterest ninjas, carpoolers extraordinaire, and Nikon warriors. Ask them about their gold medals in competitive synchronized litter box scooping. You can connect with them on Facebook, Pinterest, and Twitter.