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The definition of a slut

Wow. We hear that word a lot these days. There’s slut-shaming posts everywhere. Slut-shaming is the new black. Let’s talk about sluts shall we?

What is a slut?

A slut is a woman thought to have a lot of sexual partners. A woman considered unclean, sullied. A female considered to be a prostitute.

Huh. So wearing a plastic bra and underwear on stage for millions of people to see, or swinging from a wrecking ball (okay, while NAKED) is considered having a lot of sexual partners? Or maybe it’s unclean? She looked showered and clean to me. I hope she was sitting on a towel though on that wrecking ball.

We all know who I’m talking about. I read comments on the internet from all kinds of folks. Whether it be trollish internet dwellers that like to just comment on a myriad of entertainment websites or YouTube videos, or even kids on Instagram commenting, everyone is using the word slut. Or maybe it’s parents describing the way teenage girls dress these days.

“It’s a shame they wear such short skirts, those little sluts.” Or a news talk radio host in my area calling Miley Cyrus a slut on his radio show after her VMA performance.

Considering she’s had 1 relationship (that we know of, of course) over the last 3 years; I don’t think she fits the definition of a slut. Right?

Now if we’re talking about that other little pop princess, what’s her name? Taylor something? Yeah, I think she’s had one or two partners. Can’t say we know if she’s slept with them, but yeah she sings about them any way. Must be those cute Coca Cola ads and her KEDS endorsement that keep us from calling her a slut.

I recently wrote about my struggle with seeing the woman wear hot pants, or short-shorts  in Target. I was struggling over the fact that my gut told me she shouldn’t wear that, and then my mind had to think it over and I realized, it was none of my business if she wore them. And what a woman wears doesn’t define her sexuality.

Now let’s turn the tables.

What is a stud? A stud is a man who has a lot of sex and considers himself good at it. Or others think he’s good at it too. Or according to the Urban Dictionary, a man that is a stud, is a cool dude that people want to be with and be like.

Huh. Interesting. So a guy has sex a lot, he’s a stud. A girl has sex a lot she’s a slut. What in the ever loving crazy fucked up logic is this? One is a high-fiving fist bump status, the other is a derogatory label.

I’m going to go with hetero relationships here, just for this post’s sake. It’s what I’m familiar with so that’s fair. Not sure how it relates to gays and lesbians.

In order for a guy to have sex a lot with multiple partners, he needs to have girls to HAVE SEX WITH HIM. If he did it alone, that would be called masturbation. No one is a stud because they have a lot of sex with THEMSELVES.

Can we just stop? Can we just stop using the word slut? I don’t want to slut shame anyone. I don’t want anyone calling a girl who wears a provocative outfit that might be inappropriate, a slut. I just don’t want to hear it. A woman can have consenting adult sexual relationships with as many or few partners as she wants. Just like a guy can.

And a young girl wearing a revealing outfit is NOT a slut. She’s just trying to figure out her body, her sexuality, what gets people’s attention. Maybe she needs guidance is all.

The word sounds out-dated. Like Negro or Oriental. It doesn’t seem to have a place in our society any more. Or it shouldn’t. Not if we want to stop the perpetuation of the rape culture we live in. That’s right. I said rape culture. Shaming women about their sexuality, making them feel guilty for being sexual creatures, and blaming them for the tempting of the male species are just some of the ingredients to this rape culture soup we’ve tolerated over the years.

Now, is a woman promiscuous because she is having unprotected sex, or sex without knowing her partner’s history? Then that’s a different story of concern. That’s not favorable for either man or woman. But having safe sex, lots of it, with lots of people is an adult’s choice. It’s the two adults that are doing it. It is not the clothes they wear or our job to define someone’s sexual prowess by our own assumptions. It’s none of our business.

Miley swinging on a wrecking ball naked or making out with a sledge hammer, doesn’t make her a slut. It makes me confused about construction sites and then I want to put underwear on her. Preferably a pair that isn’t white that she’s rolled around in over a pile of bricks.

Stop using the word slut and judging women unfairly for their sexuality. I am woman, hear me roar.