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Reason to Live Friday- #30- We are going to be okay

I’m usually the smart one in the relationship. It’s true. Hubs has done some pretty stupid things. He’s trimmed the cord on the blinds once while they were up so when we went to close them, the cord was too short.

He’s used my dishwashing gloves for applying moss killer to the roof of our old house and then just put them back under the sink like it was no big deal. I thought he was trying to poison me, but then I realized, he was just kind of being stupid.

So when I do something dumb, I feel REALLY bad. And I did something dumb this  week.

Back over the summer I paid the mortgage twice in one month on accident. It’s easy to say, that mistake caused us to default on a few other payments since there wasn’t sufficient funds in the bank.

I felt awful. And you can’t just call up the mortgage company and ask for your money back.

This week I did something similar. I feel like a huge idiot.

Scene begins- McSweetie calls me up during his lunch break because the debit card doesn’t work. While he’s on the phone I log in to our bank to check what’s going on.

Oops. We have no money. And it was MY mistake. – AND… scene.

You would think that after 15 years of joint accounts and being in charge of the bills, expenses, household shopping, I’d have my act together and come up with a system.

How dumb does a grown woman feel asking her mom for a few bucks to cover groceries? Pretty dumb, that’s what. But a lot better than pawning my wedding ring or grandma’s candle sticks. Okay, it’s not THAT bad. Don’t panic.

What makes me feel even more guilty about my lapse in judgement was that last week I was in a major slump. I wasn’t sick, even though my family around me was. I was hormonal and cranky. But also emotional and lethargic. I had nothing in me. I couldn’t pinpoint if it was just Uterus Armageddon or winter blahs, or what.

I needed sympathy and cookies. I needed to be told I was pretty, even though I hadn’t showered and was wearing the same clothes three days in a row. My friends did this for me. They saw the bat signal distress sign, and came to action. I got to hear what I wanted to hear. Sure, maybe it was just to be nice, but they knew that I needed it. That whatever it takes to lift us out of the fog is necessary. What’s a few shallow compliments to keep me from drastic measures? Okay, apparently, drastic measures are spending too much and wiping out your bank account.

Maybe my mood and my actions are correlated. Oops- no shopping or bill paying for me during Aunt Flo! This will go in the marriage survival handbook.

My gracious husband last week was kind and let me order take out a few nights for dinner. He saw the laundry pile up and the sink stinky with dishes. He didn’t say anything. He didn’t even get mad over this bank account debacle I have caused for us. He’s taken Owen to soccer, run a Cub Scout den meeting and coached a soccer game at 8 am on Sunday morning. He stood out in the freezing cold selling cookie dough with Owen’s Scouts for a fund raiser.

Other people’s goodness and grace doesn’t make me feel bad about myself. It pulls me up out of the dumps and keeps me from wallowing in the sludge of self deprecation. Not the Tina Fey kind that entertains us, but the damaging kind that can be cruel and destructive.

If you’re feeling like the bottom of Charlie Sheen’s shoe in a strip club, or you know someone who is- send them a cookie, tell them their hair smells nice.

I’m so grateful for my support network. My mom, my family, my friends, even readers. When I need something, someone is there for me. I hope you have a safety net like that too.

And thank you dear spouse for putting up with my neurosis. I’m 90% awesome, and I know that when my game is off, it’s only for a short while. I appreciate your patience. I do. Feel free to watch a Bourne movie marathon this weekend, or Karate Kid. I know how much you like those.

 

 

 

Reason to Live Friday #28- Hall and Oates

Say what?

I know, you’re thinking I’m bananas.

And I am. But a friend of mine, Katy, over at the blog I Want a Dumpster Baby is having her twins this weekend. I’m a little excited. She calls them Hall and Oates. So for the last 6 months, myself, and about 20,000 other folks have been following her journey while she gestates these babies! I’m guessing there will be real names and Hall and Oates have been code names this whole time.

I wish her so much goodness as she brings those babies into the world. If you know Katy, then you know how superbly fabulous this whole occasion is. If you don’t know Katy, let me give you a quick reference guide to help you along with why she’s so awesome-

Katy has a big smile.

Katy was an alcoholic.

Katy was a homeless alcoholic living on the streets of Chicago.

Katy is now clean and sober and full of gratitude each and every day.

I first met Katy online last spring when she was talking on her page about quitting smoking. She made an electric cigarette pretty damn sexy.

Katy likes spazz dancing in elevators.

Katy likes animals so much so that she doesn’t eat them.

Katy has people who love her and these babies who will think the world of her.

Yep, these babies are being brought into the world by two very grateful, full of happy kind of people. Her husband Chris, I can only imagine, is completely strong and loving, to be with such a larger than life girl like Katy. They chose the route of IVF to have these babies so they know how absolutely precious and darned lucky this whole gig is.

So I can’t kiss Katy’s belly- she’s in Chicago and I’m over here in the rainy Northwest. So I send my love via the internet and my blog.

My Reason to Live Friday #28 is other people’s happiness and those sweet Hall & Oates babies that the world gets to meet here in a few days.

Katy- all the best my sweet. And please don’t plan on freezing your placenta for later. It’s just weird.

Spazz dances for you- MUWAH!

Everyone is talking about Kim Kardashian and if she’ll sell her pics to the press when her baby is born. I say, who cares? The only babies I’m interested in are Hall & Oates. As far as I’m concerned, no Kimye baby or even Ivy Blue has anything on these kids.

 

And then everyone knows what a big deal Katy is, so I told her so with this card:

I might have gotten a little carried away during election season.

 

 

 

 

Reason To Live Friday #18-

The last few RTLF have been heavy and sad for Childhood Cancer Awareness Month. So I’m going to keep this light. Keep it fresh and jazzy. That’s me, fresh and jazzy.

This will be a list of things I have found to be quite grateful for in the last week.

A car that works. God bless getting in your car each day and the key turns in the ignition and all systems are go. It feels so good. My minivan had a bit of a glitch that put a crimp on my outings with my girlfriend who was in town last weekend. Nothing worse than starting your vehicle and the gear shift won’t budge. Even worse when you are at a restaurant on a Saturday night wondering how in the heck you’re getting out of the parking lot.

This brings me to-

girlfriends that make me laugh so hard, I cry. While we were experiencing this little bit of car trouble, she and I tried reading the owners manual and trouble shooting. Something sounded so ridiculous and we burst in fits of laughter. The kind of laughter where no sound comes out, and tears go down your face. You know the kind. I hope you do. Because that is the best type of high there is.

Healthy kids. It really is THE most important part of life. If your loved ones aren’t healthy, it’s devastating. My kids each came down with the sniffles this last week. Easy stuff. Only Emma missed a day of school. I am so grateful that they are growing, strong kids. The opposite is unthinkable.

Bed warmers. Not the 18th century kind that have coal in them and go under the mattress. No, this is a heated mattress cover. The evenings are so chilly now climbing into a bed that is already warm, is blissful. Forgetting to turn down the heater and falling asleep with the dog, then waking up drenched in a perimenapausal sweat, is something else.

Sweet and helpful kids. I’m not sure I know what they are. Just kidding! Yes, they are shits that don’t clean their rooms and insist I get up every 5 minutes for dumb stuff like juice and cereal. But this week, Owen got up before me and made the morning tea. It melted my heart to see him in the kitchen, trying to do it exactly how I do. It was lukewarm and way too sugared, but gosh darn, did I love that he did it.

Weekend. Well, since I’m a mom Friday isn’t really as exciting as it is to the rest of the working world. Usually there’s more work to be done when the family is home and not at school or work. But I will still enjoy sleeping in a little bit. The kids are older so we all sleep in now. Emma and I are doing a girls movie on Saturday while the boys take in a hockey game. Since this weekend isn’t jam packed with activities and outings, I will embrace it’s coziness. I will eat yummy things and watch old movies. Until my children turn on Spongebob and then I’ve got to run the laundry. Oh well.

Here’s to the weekend, and being grateful.

Namaste.