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You’re a terrible writer

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I was told this by my 10th grade high school English teacher. God bless Mr. Merrier. I have heard he has since passed away after battling cancer. He was a good guy. Just maybe not the best cheerleader for me and my shortcomings.

I remember vividly the essay we were writing on Shakespeare’s Julius Ceasar. I struggled with it. He proofed a draft and I remember clearly standing at his desk when after so many red marks through the page he just said, “Geeze Rebecca, you’re a terrible writer.”  Without a hint of irony in his voice, my heart sank. I think I looked at him and shrugged. Well, yeah. I’m 15 and clearly confused you idiot! But I didn’t say that. I just went about finishing my essay. I think I pulled out a C+ on that assignment.

This was most shameful as an honors student in a room full of A+ work.

It probably hit me harder than if someone told me I was ugly or I had awful hair. Ever since that day I convinced myself that I was a terrible writer.

I am 41 now. Twenty six years have passed, three published works, contributor to several websites, and I still think I’m a terrible writer.

Perhaps it’s the self-deprecater (or the fact that I make up words)  in me. Believe me, I know when my writing sucks. I have 61 unfinished posts in my DRAFT folder in this blog’s website. Is that normal?

I get great ideas. I have crazy dialogues in my head that want to come on to the page. But somewhere between idea and execution there’s a chasm of dead space.

You’re reading this and thinking, ‘Uhm, that’s called writers block, Rebecca‘. Yeah, duh!

Maybe that is the lament of writers all the time.

You're a Terrible Writer by Frugalista Blog


It’s nothing new. I’m not the only one. Probably all artists and craftsmen feel like this.

But honestly, those words were so profoundly engrained in my frontal lobe (?) that it took me decades to get over it. I hated all writing assignments in college. I never let anyone read my work except the professor.

When I got my first ‘real’ job after college and I had to draft letters to environmental firms, or city officials, I would struggle and pine over them until my boss would read it and tell me they were fine. And they probably were fine. I mean, who cares? Just write the damn letter!

So many times we hear of success stories from the under dog. J.K. Rowling was homeless writing on napkins. She was turned down numerous times by publishers. The Help author, Kathryn Stocket, was turned down 14 times before her book was published.

My story is not uncommon. But I feel like it’s just another reminder to use your words carefully around the young and impressionable.

“You’re a terrible writer.” Them’s are fighting words. But I was too young and impressionable to know better. For some, a put down is what they need to stomp their foot in the sand, huff a big breath and stare down the target and charge like a bull. But for those like me, it can wilt us like a flower left in a car without water on a hot day.

I do not hate Mr. Merrier for what he said. I resented him for a long time though. Then I felt terrible learning he had passed after  fighting a disease.

We all say things out of impulse without thought. Now I’m trying to think back if I’ve ever told my children they were bad at something. What if I have? Is it life changing for them?

When people ask me what I do or what I am, I do not answer with writer. Or I didn’t used to. But I’m slowly starting to call myself that.

Isn’t it true that anytime you are paid to do something, you are considered a professional? So I’m a professional writer. Hmm. Still seems strange.

I wish Mr. Merrier could read my works (well, some of them!) and see me now though. He might change his mind. I mean, I’m not THAT bad.



Join me in Baltimore for Blog University. If you’re a writer or blogger, you need this conference. Find your niche. Find your tribe. Get your tickets for an awesome weekend with me and several other faculty. You’ll get schooled in a good way.



I Just Want To Pee Alone on Evening Magazine

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You got that right. If you read that title above it sounds like I want to pee alone on a TV show. No. It’s the book is on a TV show!!

Reporter Kim Holcomb and cameraman Howard from KING 5 news came to my house to tape a segment for local television. They were awesome and funny and Kim wore a super cute polka dot blouse. She did. When I opened my front door for her and cameraman Howard, I said, “Oh my gosh, you look so cute!” I hope Kim knew I meant her blouse, and Howard didn’t think I was flirting with him. Hmm… I never thought of that.

They wanted natural home stuff. You know, life as it is every day. I got to empty and load the dishwasher and Owen and James kicked the soccer ball. Emma was on the lap top and I did lots of ‘typing at my computer’ shots. I offered to scoop the cat box, but that didn’t make for such great TV. Hey- they wanted real, so I offered real.

I’m so glad I got a manicure that week with all those typing shots.

It was a gorgeous sunny day. But don’t let that fool you. No. Cameraman Howard closed the blinds then added these giant lights on stands. Apparently natural isn’t always good enough for television.

Then Kim shared with me that she’s interviewed Daniel Craig twice. Twice. Her impression of him- polite, but doesn’t enjoy press junkets. Not very personable. Okay, I can understand that.

Not everyone can be so giggly and sweet like me.

Seriously. I giggle the entire piece, you’ll hear. Also, I don’t always end my sentences. It’s a habit I have. I can’t seem to finish my thoughts with words or something.

And for the record- I don’t want Gwyneth to play me in the movie version. That was sarcasm that Kim didn’t pick up on. I want Amy Poehler or Kristen Wiig to play me in the movie version.

Mostly, what’s important about this TV piece is, you need to buy the book. (on Amazon, see my side bar)  And you need to tell your friends to buy the book.

What good would media promotion be for a book if you didn’t buy it?

Some notes; My house looks cleaner on television than it is in real life. I have too many mugs that don’t all fit in my cupboards, that’s why I have to stack them. I didn’t realize I had a double chin until I saw it on TV. Also, special mention needs to be made that isn’t in the video, Jen from People I Want To Punch in the Throat is the band leader of all this craziness. Without her, we wouldn’t have the book.

So enjoy the clip.

I can’t please everyone

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“Get a hobby.”

“Get a job.”

“Clean your house more often.”

“Let down your hair and blow off steam.”

“You should go out with your girl friends.”

“Why do you go out so much?”

“Pay attention to your kids more.”

If I did nothing but look after my house all day, people would think I’m weird and need a hobby. If I just sat around and did a hobby all day, people would think I needed to work more. It’s called balance people. I do what works for my family. Not yours.

Why are people so judgey? I didn’t ask your opinion. Okay, I just did about the judgey question, but before that. Why do people judge my parenting based on how often I’m on the internet? Shouldn’t they judge my parenting based on my kids themselves?

I’m a SAHM (Stay At Home Mom). It’s a lame term. I don’t just stay home. Sometimes I do. Sometimes all I can do is wait for the kids to leave the house for the school bus so I can watch Sherlock on Netflix or Downton Abbey. I make myself lattes and eat baked goods and am in clear denial as to the amount of work I actually have to get done. It’s a coping mechanism.

Then there’s some days I leave the house around 9 am and don’t get home until 7:30 or 8 at night. Between errands, appointments, volunteering and taking the kids to their activities, I am non-stop.

On a really good day, I’ll throw in some laundry between errands and empty the dishwasher. On a fabulous day, I’ll prepare a dinner that is nutritious AND delicious. Whoa.

So if you’re wondering, no, I don’t spend my whole day on Facebook. Or my blog.

I blog when I can, usually after the kids go to bed. Or when they’ve left for school.

Why am I even telling you this? Because there’s bloggers and moms and dads out there who seem to share their opinions freely about how horrible us blogging, Instagraming, Facebooking, and Pinteresting moms are. And I’m tired of it.

I’m pretty sure my kids are totally fine while I sit here next to them and I’m on my computer. Or wait in the carpool line on my phone. And when they were younger, how many times did I hear, “mommy watch this!” and for the one millionth time I was shown how they could spin and forward roll. Or burp. I didn’t miss any milestones of my children’s development because I was on the internet. My children are not maladjusted because I don’t give them every breathing, waking second of my attention. No, in fact. They are independent beings that know how to wipe their own ass. (Most of the time.)

Now with the book, I Just Want to Pee Alone out and kicking book selling butt- I want to be clear that I am in support of other moms who share their candid tales of parenting and motherhood, pregnancy and post-partum, and not just do it honestly, but hilariously! The kind of stories you laugh so hard at over a Girls Night Out when someone shares the story of how they gave birth, that you pee your pants, or spew your cosmo out your nose. Don’t all moms pretty much share their birth stories?

Then there’s my marriage. If I make a few jokes about McSweetie, can we not jump to conclusions that I must be a nightmare to live with? Can we not think my marriage must be miserable and my husband so pussy whipped, he doesn’t know what hit him? If I was a stand-up comic and did this piece about how husbands can behave like children, there would be a lot of women who agree with me. Or husbands that agree with me about their spouse being childlike. But put it in a blog, and all of a sudden, I’m Dr. Phil and I need to stop giving marital advice and stop emasculating my husband. Trust me, a list about how my husband doesn’t pick up his underwear, doesn’t emasculate him.

He admits to his foibles. He knows he can be lazy around the house. So what? I get something off my chest, a few others laugh about it and tell me they relate, I feel better. Life goes on. We don’t have to psycho analyze it into a marriage crisis, people! I’m actually pretty awesome to be married to. I wash his shorts, make his lattes, encourage him and his career, send him off to heavy metal concerts with his buddies, take care of his mother’s birthday… I’m a pretty damn good wife.

Here let me interview McSweetie on his feelings about this….

Oh, sorry, he was asleep on the couch. I’ll ask him later.

Okay, are we cool? Because I’m a little tired of people getting their knickers in a twist. Just chill the fluff down. I can’t please everyone, so I please me. And my family. Thankyouverymuch.

And if you haven’t yet- buy the damn book!

I Just Want to Pee Alone- the book

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Holy cow. I’m published in a book. A real pages with paper and ink- book. Not the ones stapled together in middle school you wrote in English class. Or the ones you tied together with string or ribbon from elementary school. A book.

Motherhood is the toughest – and funniest – job you’ll ever love. Raising kids is hard work. The pay sucks, your boss is a tyrant, and the working conditions are pitiful – you can’t even take a bathroom break without being interrupted with another outrageous demand.

Hasn’t every mother said it before? “I just want to pee alone!”

I Just Want to Pee Alone is a collection of hilarious essays from 37 of the most kick ass mom bloggers on the web. You will laugh, you will cry, you will want to share this book with every mom you know.

Featuring the hilarious Divine Secrets of a Domestic Diva, My Life and Kids, Bad Parenting Moments, People I Want to Punch in the Throat, and many others, and ME!

Kindle version and paperback available on Amazon, see the link above! For iTunes- click here

And if you needed any convincing, the reviews are in and folks are saying it’s hilarious. Oh, and we just happen to be #1 on Amazon’s Parenting and Humor category. No biggy.


People I Want to Punch in the Throat

Insane in the Mom Brain

The Divine Secrets of a Domestic Diva

Baby Sideburns

Rants From Mommyland

You Know it Happens at Your House Too

The Underachiever’s Guide to Being a Domestic Goddess

My Life and Kids

Bad Parenting Moments

Let Me Start By Saying

Frugalista Blog

Suburban Snapshots

Ninja Mom

Four Plus an Angel

Honest Mom

Binkies and Briefcases

Naps Happen

Kelley’s Break Room

Toulouse & Tonic


Hollow Tree Ventures

The Fordeville Diaries


Mom’s New Stage

Nurse Mommy Laughs

The Dose of Reality

The Mom of the Year

Life on Peanut Layne


Cloudy, With a Chance of Wine

Confessions of a Cornfed Girl

I Love Them Most When They’re Sleeping

Random Handprints


You’re My Favorite Today

Funny is Family

My Real Life

Frugalistablog turns 1!!!

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Confetti cannons and cake for everyone! Pew, pew, pew!! That’s the confetti cannons firing.

What does one do to celebrate their one year blogging anniversary? Eat straight out of the Nutella jar, that’s what!

I started blogging one year ago. One year. Holy shizzballs!! It’s been like nothing I imagined. For starters, I imagined Ellen calling me to be on her show. That hasn’t happened yet. So, see what I mean? Nothing like I imagined. I also thought Daniel Craig, Hugh Jackman or Melissa Gilbert would come knocking on my door by now. Hmm… still nothing. Well, here’s to another year of imagining.

What did happen that I didn’t imagine was YOU!!! All of YOU people!! Not just my mom, my brother and some of my neighbors, but folks in Saudi Arabia, Iceland, Ukraine, Australia, Malaysia…. crazy places that READ me! Not that where you live is crazy. Just that, for this little suburban American girl, those sound so exotic, and I honestly never imagined someone all the way around the world paying attention to my blog.

But let me also mention my blogging friends I have met. Okay, let me clarify. I haven’t ‘met’ any of them yet. But they are my peeps. My blogging sisters and brothers. Some of them I have made friends  on the ‘real’ side of Facebook. I definitely will be seeing quite a few of them one day in real live person. I truly can’t wait to drink a toast and break bread with these people. Hmm, that’s a lot of bread references right there. But my point being, they are so incredibly supportive. They are good people. They get the whole- build you up, promote you to the readers and know you’ll do it in return- process. They make my day brighter, help me believe in myself, commiserate over laundry and female issues. We laugh, we cry, we plot evil revenge on dickwads that leave awful comments. Just kidding!! You know me, I’m all about the peace! The friendship between other bloggers is definitely something I never imagined with this gig. It’s truly the icing on this wordy cake.

So I won’t name any of them specifically,  I’m afraid I’ll forget someone. So let me just say- you know who you are. You’re there for me, you are the wind beneath my wings. Cue Bette Middler.

My very first post was kind of like a child’s first day of Kindergarten. There were some introductions, nervous peeing, feelings of awkwardness and insecurity. But now I’ve found myself. My ‘voice’ I can call it. I’m not trying to fit in anywhere. Well, okay, I am. But I’m just writing and sometimes it’s funny, and sometimes it’s downright heart gripping. And thankfully you all just ride this coaster of crazy and dramatic confessions that I spew onto the screen.

Like my brother says about most of my posts- a lot of effort, not a whole lot of preparation. So true. I literally just developed my blog overnight. I know, hard to believe! (wink, wink) I just jumped in. Like a cold swimming pool. If I stuck my toe in and tested the waters, I bet I would have put on the breaks and backed out of there. But once I hit ‘publish’ there was no turning back. Sometimes I’m scared of a post. Sometimes I’m excited. Sometimes posts are crap. Sometimes they are gold. I never know. Okay, I have a slight inkling. But I’m amazed at what tickles someone’s funny bone or inspires them.

If you’ve stuck around all year  or just found me yesterday through this roller coaster and the complete whiplash that is my blog, then Thank You. I hope you stick around for another year. I think I’m getting the hang of it.

From vaginas, to my kids, to Spanx, there’s been a whole lot of fun going on around here.

I made this clip especially for you-

Do I have what it takes to be Blogger Idol 2012?

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Say yes. Please!! And vote for me. Or tell them to pick me. Either way.

Apparently, Bloggers are the new rockstars. Could someone please tell my kids this?? Thanks.

Here is why I am entering Blogger Idol 2012, and what I wrote on my application:

Ahem, <clears voice> is this on <taps microphone>

I want to win Blogger Idol 2012 because of the drama queen in me, and because it scares the shit out of me.  I don’t think of myself as a writer. I first think of myself as an actress, an entertainer. But gosh darn, I started blogging and things just came out in words. Silly, hair-brained ideas. Self-deprecation at its best.  People started reading. People said they liked it. I’ve exercised in leg-warmers for gosh sakes in a video blog!

So even though my Sophomore English teacher told me, “Rebecca, your writing sucks”, gee, thanks, Mr. Merrier, maybe I didn’t WANT to write about Julius Ceasar, huh?

Now I write about what I want to. What I know. And when a reader says they ‘hear’ me, they hear my ‘voice’ from the words, that they relate or feel inspired, I get goose bumps. I think, ‘okay, I’ll keep writing’. Even if one person reads it, I’ll keep writing. Even if one person says, thanks for making me laugh today, I’ll keep writing.

I’ve written about depression, weight –gain, mothering, PMS, sex. Say WHAT? Yes, sex. I gripe about my kids, I get pissed at politicians, stupid people, the media. I like griping. But I also like praising. I have learned from other great bloggers, to love myself. To see myself in new eyes.  Softer, more forgiving eyes. Eyes that say, “I’m mom enough.” “I’m wife enough.” “I’m woman enough.” So I want to spread this feeling to other readers. I want more people to know that they are enough too.

There are so many blogs out there. Millions. And probably at least 100 I read. Saying I want to win Blogger Idol 2012 makes me feel like I am saying I’m better than they are. Well, gosh darn, no I’m not. I’m still in awe when bloggers I admire comment on my blog and refer to me or even share me.  Like I said, I’m the queen of self-deprecation. I can laugh at myself and with you, laughing at me! But entering a blog contest will challenge me. It will keep that little fire in me that says, ‘keep writing’.

It will also prove to my children that I’m a little bit cool. Just a little bit.

So there it is. Award winning? Yes?

Not only will there be bragging rights for the winner, but a boat load of cool prizes for the winner and runners up are given.

Samsung Galaxy Tab 2

Chocolate goody basket


Snack Taxi

I was hoping a tummy tuck was in the prize package, but no luck this time.

Okay, just go on over and stalk them and tell them to pick me. That is all.

RTLF #11 Affirmation

I remember an exercise I did at a church youth retreat in 9th grade. We broke up into groups and were assigned names of people from the other groups. We had to come up with a list of things we liked about that person, you know- thought were funny, kind, described them. Anything. And then share them with the big group all together for them to hear.

What I didn’t expect was how I would feel hearing the affirming things that the group said about ME. I was floored. People think THAT about me?? I mean, so often, we know our friends hang out with us, like us, or maybe we don’t know if someone likes us. Hearing things like, “she always makes us laugh”, “she makes these funny facial expressions that crack us up” (hmm, we know about this don’t we?) was a total game changer for me. I always felt awkward, unattractive, klutzy. Now, I realized, people liked those silly qualities!

I came away from that feeling so full. What a great exercise. We need affirmation all the time. Some people are shy of compliments. Some people are compliment whores (ahem, I don’t know what you are talking about!). But whether it is a spoken word, a written note, or an action, affirmation is what gives us that feeling of, “yep, I’m worth it”. Not in a L’Oreal kind of way folks.

When I started this blog, I was hungry for affirmation. I wanted to be told all the time- good job, ooh funny, you are so talented…. blah blah blah. And I did get this. From my mom. From a few friends. It was great.

Now folks are reading that I never imagined would read. I have been mentioned on the Huffington Post for gosh sakes! I’ve been given kudos from a blogger I so greatly admire, People I Want To Punch In The Throat, listed me as one of her top 10 funny bloggers on And even sometimes on Twitter, I’ll get a compliment from someone in the biz, or whatever, that makes me gush.

There’s several blogs and writers out there I admire. Kind of, look up to, like the cool kids on campus. When they share my work, I am overjoyed. Like when my son says something sweet to me. My heart takes wings and soars.

Affirmation feels good when I’m given a Blogger Award from another blogger out there. These aren’t like ones that come with plaques and statues at award ceremonies, non blogging folks, they are like chain letters of the Internets, but in a good way. My first award came from Heather at B(itch)log. I was stunned! She’s all snarky and bitchy, and is a WRITER, that likes little ol’ me. ME? It felt good, let me tell you.

And then when others came along, I couldn’t believe it.

It feels good to be told someone likes you. Likes what you do. Or what you write. That they were moved, or changed by it in some way.

I want my children to feel affirmation every day. I want to smile to them when I walk in the room. Or they come home from school, I want them to see me happy to see them. I want my husband to walk in the door after a long day at work, and know that I appreciate him.

I want bloggers to know how much I like their stuff. How much I revere their writing and their talents. How so many of them help shape me in my posts. It’s like they unlock a little treasure chest in my brain for what is possible. All those things floating around in there that were suppressed with yoga pant wearing Gymboree runs, or serious, studious college days. ( I was such a square.) Now I get goofy ideas, and I think, ‘hey that would make a great blog’. And usually you guys embrace the goofy with me and it makes me super happy.

So my point is, share affirmation whenever you get the chance. Tell your children, your spouse, your mom, what you appreciate them for.

Share writers that you love. Pieces of work that touch you. If you think they are ‘too popular’, ‘too big’ to care- not true. I look at pages with thousands more fans than me, and I know that they too, enjoy compliments.

What I love about blogging, and people who don’t blog seem to always ask me WHY I blog if I’m not getting paid, is that it opens up my world and relationships to people out there dealing with things I may never have been exposed to otherwise. Getting my news and updates from Yahoo or CNN or EOnline is fine. But reading what people have lived, struggled through, overcome; that is what sticks with me throughout the day and shapes me. Not only that, but reading about other people’s episiotomy horror stories or embarrassing things their kids say at Starbucks, can be incredibly entertaining!

So with that, I will mention some big blogs and little blogs that inspire me, entertain me, and make me want to keep writing.

I Want a Dumpster Baby

This girl gets the Miss Congeniality award. Everyone loves Katy! AMIRIGHT? She is pregnant with twins, but her road from addiction and depression, to her struggles with infertility, inspire me every day to be a better me. She chooses happiness and is the most furkin’ positive, hilarious creature. I’m amazed by her.


The horrors this woman has come back from and kicked ass through, amaze me. Her perspective and truth about dealing with an abusive ex, will compel you to make a choice each day to be who YOU want to be, and never give up.

Mary Tyler Mom

MTM will grab your heart and change it forever. She has lost her daughter Donna, to pediatric brain cancer, and now, she is chronicling her story of trying to adopt a baby. Her writing weaves in and out of your psyche and doesn’t let go. You will wonder how she gets up in the morning with all she’s been through. But like so many out there, she faces the day with purpose and intellect and soul.

These are just a FEW, I mean, there are SO MANY others. People write of their failure, their fears, their triumphs. I am moved, humbled and enlightened every time I open up one of their posts to read. I hope you will be too. You’ll notice the trend in their writing is their gratitude. Not in a sappy, drippy, make you sick way, but in a ‘wow, if they can find it, so can I’ way.

Remember to smile, give a compliment, tell someone how great they are. It can make a HUGE difference. Just think of what our world would be like if more people felt their worth, their affirmation from those around them. It would be AMAZING.

Practice rather than preach. Make of your life an affirmation, defined by your ideals, not the negation of others. Dare to the level of your capability then go beyond to a higher level. ~Alexander Haig

I will not censor myself

Hey, readers. Listen up. I’ve been holding back. You know the librarian with the glasses, the buttoned up collar and the comfortable shoes? That’s me. No, it’s not my alter ego stripper character. Although, that would probably be perfect if I were to have some secret stripper life. That’s describing how I’m feeling sometimes when I’ve been writing. I’m thinking of bringing out the fishnets, Flashdance sweater with the cut out neck hole, and a bajillion bangle bracelets Madonna style. You get this is a metaphor right? A wardrobe description to describe my writing? Right? Okay, cuz any of you waiting for pics of me in this get up- just move along.

My point is- NO MORE MRS. NICE GUY!

I’m not going to get all hung up on the Dewey Decimal system anymore!

I’m too careful. I feel I need to please.  I’m worried about what my neighbor might think. What my mom might think. What the husband might think. Well, too damn bad.

I should only have to please ME! If you don’t like what I write, well too damn bad.

Nobody has picked on me or anything. I just was thinking back on some previous posts, and I think I was treading lightly. I shouldn’t feel like I need to beat around the bush with my blog. It’s not a family get together with the in-laws where I should choose my words carefully. This is MY blog. And I’m going to write like I’ve had two appletinis and I’m out with my girlfriends!

Hold. The. Phone. There’s a Flashdance Barbie? Why do I feel like I need this?

Oh yeah!!


And you’re like, wait- you talk  about your time of the month, sex with your husbandtelling people how to feed their kids  and the sham family bed– what in THEE HELL could you be MORE honest about?

Well, I don’t know- YET. But I promise you, whatever it’s going to be, it will be raw, rough and naked. SEE! I’m already letting loose! ha!!

Maybe it’s this whole turning 40 thing on the horizon.  Maybe it’s life is too short to waste on feeling self-conscious.

I’m going to wear green eyeshadow if I feel like it, regardless of the beauty mags that say I shouldn’t since my eyes are green. And I’m going to wear red lipstick when I feel like it too. Because I got some nice lips, and I can show them off, even if I think I look like Gwen Stefani when I wear red lipstick, but I probably look like Courtney Love after a heroine high.

This is how I look in red lipstick.

So there you go. Stay tuned.

Just kidding!! THIS is how I look in red lipstick, especially after running around doing errands and carpool.

Why can’t blogging awards come with gift baskets?

I really need to apologize for taking so freaking long to acknowledge some bloggers out there. And I’m very sorry that I don’t have a wine box or fruit basket to go with the awards I’m giving. If there was only a swag room like on award shows!!

So I humbly accept The Liebster Blog award by three- yes three- (I’m so cool) fellow bloggers.

The deal is, I need to acknowledge the blogs that awarded me this- and then award it to 5 other blogs that I enjoy.

And yes, I’m well aware I don’t deserve any awards (self depracation is my specialty) since my posts are fluffy and silly, full of stay at home mom musings, but hey- I don’t post endless pictures of kitties peeking out of cereal boxes. Okay, on Facebook,  I do. But since I crack myself up, and there’s a handful of folks who seem to genuinely enjoy my dull, shallow page, I will continue to fulfill my obligation and keep writing.

Okay my award givers are:

Somewhat Sane Mom,

She wrote the most HILARIOUS post of a party where Dora the Explorer got drunk on a bottle of Arbor Mist. I know- crazy good! She is even being my partner in crime and pimping my page to Ellen so Ellen can see my 50 Shades music video.

She has a keen wit, I think she’s hilarious like myself, and I don’t think she would mind hanging out with a beer or two (one in each hand, ha ha). Just go read her now! Okay, I’ll stop being so bossy.

What Inside Voice?

She blogs about celebrities she misses. My kind of gal. She got her teeth whitened recently (who cares right? Look at the pic!), and she has a ton of Facebook followers. I thought she was one of the cool kids on campus and was surprised when she graciously gifted me with an award. It’s always fun to find out there’s people who like you. And she’s got a book coming out! So when one of the cool kids, gives you an award, it feels extra good.

Blissfully Discontented

I remember Bliss back in my early months of blogging. I didn’t realize she and I started our blogs almost at the same time. She seemed so skilled and like a veteran. She uses the poignancy of raising children, one with special needs, and she blends it with balls out hilarity!! Which, I love balls out hilarity, if you know anything about me. I just love this gal, she’s sweet and kind and supportive of me. Like a cupcake and a good bra. That’s what a good friend is all about. And I’ve never even met her.

So here’s my five blogs that I would love for you to check out.

Please read them and support them. We are all just putting our words out there. Loving when someone reads them. And if they resonate within you in any way- then that’s just a bonus.

Hungry Rambling

My friend Jen, has been writing this blog for awhile. But I think it’s because of recently her and I going on some food adventures that it has really picked up. I mean, it is all about me, right? She’s my foodie friend and she’s not a dick about it. She likes good food. She’ll have lunch twice in one day (we have done this) because we find a restaurant that we want to check out, after just having lunch at a bakery we knew we wanted to check out. Anyway, you get the idea. She’s fun and sweet and doesn’t swear or gripe about her husband, like I do. She’ll gripe about a restaurant though, but mostly she savors the good stuff.

Glass Half Fool

I’ve known this guy and his family for many years. He has found himself in a situation away from his kids and starting a new chapter in his life as a single guy. I think his writing is an outlet for his frustrations and he has a snarky, twisted sense of humor. But then he’ll hit you with a poem from the heart. So yeah, he’s pretty messed up- but you’ll like him. I promise.

Misadventures of a 20 something Mom

This chick is amazeballs! If I had my shit together in my 20s to be a first time mom and write like she does, I may as well wear a cape, I would’ve been THAT amazing. GOODNESS- she’s funny and candid. She gets IT. If you know what I mean. And she isn’t afraid. And I like that about her. I’d like to say she’s a lot like me. Or maybe, I’m like her.

Twins Happen

Oh Twins mama!! I love this gal. I’ve never met her, but she’s my longitudinal (is that even a word?) sister. She and I are like the only bloggers on the west coast up on Facebook after 10 pm to kabitz back and forth. She’s given me advice, support and she has a big, huge heart. Whenever she throws in a curse word, I crack up, because her by-line is, “raising twins with God and lots of coffee”. I love a good Christian girl that swears. (Ahem, I may just relate, just a little…)

Kvetch Mom

Kvetch, kvetch, kvetch…. How can you not like Kvetch mom?? You can kvetch with her for goodness sakes and she’s not all verklempt. Get it? I threw in some more yiddish for you there. Kvetch mom is just funny. Read her post on Passover and tell me if you don’t pee your pants. Anyone that can throw in Moses and farts in the same sentence, is gifted!!

Now you guys have to do the same- thank MOI first,  and name 5 blogs you like. Be sure to let them know because all writers are selfish whores and love getting the attention!

There are a million bajillion more bloggy blogs out there that I need to give recognition to. So someone give me another award  and then I’ll write about them.

Peace out y’all.


I fucking hate cancer.

Don’t get all uppity on me because I swore. I’m really pissed. Dear God I’m so grateful I haven’t had cancer. I do what I can to live healthy and hopefully prevent it. But I know so many, too many who have fought and won, and fought and lost this goddamn battle. Whether it’s my parents, relatives, friends, friend’s children….ugh! STOP!

I wasn’t going to run in the Race for the Cure this year. My hips bother me lately when I run. But screw it. Now I am. I was thinking of hanging up my running shoes and just sticking to making donations. But darn it, life has a different plan. I’ve run 3 Race for the Cures. I have done the Susan G Komen 3 day as well. I’m tired of breast cancer. But I’m not too tired to fight. There’s so many who are fighting for their lives. So the least I can do is run dammit!

I was heading out for some errands while the kids were in school. The weather had been tempting me with some sunshine and I was dreaming of a pair of wedge, cork, sandals. I pictured them in my post this week (Welcome to the party…). They were on sale and I figured, with our tight budget, the least I can afford is a $40 pair of adorable spring sandals to get me in the mood for some warmer weather.

But then the call came from my friend. I hate those calls. Those texts. Those emails. They have that fucking ‘c’ word in them. And by ‘c’ word, I don’t mean ‘C U Next Tuesday’. THAT word is pretty harmless when you think of what the ‘c’ word is that I’M talking about. I’ve had one too many of those types of messages either by phone or computer that say someone has cancer.

So I went out to the store on my errands and got to thinking. I really don’t need those sandals. I want those sandals, but I don’t need them. What I DO need is a new pair of running shoes since the ones I own are 2 years old and have seen 100s of miles already. Not good for the pronating and plantar fasciitis feet of mine.

So I found -whattdya know, a $40 pair of Nikes at Nordstrom Rack. Hey, they have orange in them kinda like the sandals I wanted.

I resent those shoes. Not because ‘it was them or the sandals’ due to budget. But why I had to buy them. I will run the Race for the Cure. But I’m so pissed I need to.

These are them.

I’ve dedicated my races to Julie, Shannon, Jessica, My Aunt Gudrun, and now M. She’s very private, and I don’t know yet of our friends who actually know. I don’t even know if she reads my blog.

So I will fire up my iPod and make new playlists.

This one is always on there:

The reason for this race is the fundraising. If you feel compelled to give- click here and donate to my team- thanks! Race for the Cure Fundraising.