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The most random post ever- but also back to school stuff.

Right now my brain is like Steven Tyler’s testicles. I can’t imagine there is anything going on in there that makes sense or hasn’t been deadened by drugs. Oh wait- I don’t do drugs… so there proves my randomness. My brain is healthy, not some 70 year old’s scrotum sac.

The kids go back to school tomorrow. It’s a gorgeous day outside. I’m feeling a writer’s block. Or maybe I’m just constipated. I can’t tell which.

There’s the angel on my shoulder saying, “Those sweet children are off in the world again. Getting on that school bus to an instution of their peers and authorities that will shape their minds and mold them towards their future.”

Then there’s the devil on my other shoulder saying, “Sweet cheese and rice,  those urchins are outta here! Let’s watch Vampire Diaries and throw away all their shit!”

Well, it’s going to be a combination of the two.

I’m going to watch some Vampire Diaries. A guilty pleasure of mine, okay, not so guilty, that I will not let Emma watch. Yes, she gets away with a lot of things on Youtube and movies (I’ve let her watch Bridesmaids with me and she cracked up, don’t judge) but, the sex and crazed adolescence of Vampire Diaries is something I’d  like to preserve her innocence of for a little while longer.

I am going to clean under their beds and in their closets. The 12 year old still has bins of Polly Pockets and Littlest Pet Shop in her closet. Not to mention the oodles and oodles of Bitty Baby clothing and American Girl accessories. Those will all go in sacred storage. When she moves out, I will have a  room in the house dedicated to dolls and cats so I will bring it out of storage for display. McSweetie doesn’t know this yet- but it’s going to happen. Therefore I’m keeping all things American Girl. Okay, I’m not really going to have a room dedicated to dolls. I’m keeping them for my future grandchildren. I will be having more cats though. This is certain.

Where was I…. oh yes, Steven Tyler’s balls… no wait… not that. Oh yeah, kids back to school.

SO this is how it’s going to go. The kids will go back to school. I will get some light house work done. I will watch whatever the fuck I want to on TV and not have to tolerate Spongebob, Adventure Time or Gravity Falls. I will get a Frappuccino at Starbucks and lick the whipped cream off by myself and not have to share it. I will go to the store, Target, Sephora, Whole Foods… whatever… and take my own sweet damn time. No whining, no begging. None of that. Only I can whine or beg. With myself.

So here’s some pics of my sweet chillins’  off to school years ago:

This is my list of things to do this week:

Namaste bitches.

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Comments

  1. Dee says:

    Don’t you get one more day with the girl? Or is she going to be one of my transition day volunteers?

  2. Yes, tomorrow is day without little brother day! Then I’m alone!!!

  3. Kathy at kissing the frog says:

    Ahhh, I’m jealous. This was supposed to be my year to do all that but hubby knocked me up with a surprise baby so I am back to square one. I’m hoping the little darling will at least nap for two hours every afternoon so I can do something all for me. Enjoy your time!

  4. I really feel that you should live much closer!!!!! It doesn’t seem right that you would go to Sephora without me….
    Either way you have inspired me to wake up tomorrow and start throwing some shit out…thanks;)

  5. Fuck yeah, Sephora!

  6. JoulesDellinger says:

    I never fully appreciated how awesome it is to shop alone until I had a kid. Thank Steven Tyler’s Balls for online shopping.

  7. Anastasia says:

    Guffaw… I waited 3 years for a trip back home just so I could get the Anastasia eyebrow grooming set at sephora after seeing it in In Style UK. Hell yeah. We have Sephora, but everything is picked over and looks like the salvation army at home, and it’s mosty nasty perfume. Oh for a real sephora… Sigh