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What did that Boy Band ever do to you?

Maybe because my daughter likes Justin Beiber, or maybe because I’m trying to be an equal-opportunity-nice-to-everyone type of person. But when people make gay jokes about Boy Bands and criticize their music that it’s not ‘real’ music- it kind of irks me. I know- that’s ridiculous. You’re asking- ‘she’s going to type a blog about defending Boy Bands?’ ‘Is this woman crazy?’. Duh.

Well, bear with me here- let me explain.

And yes, I get that in some cases Boy Bands are just products of the record industry or Disney machine. Whatever. Just go with me on this, ‘mkay?

Every generation has the music that makes the previous generation cringe. I mean, The Beatles. Come on. With their floppy hair (un)cuts and their little, ‘love, love, me do’ lyrics, they were boy band material for sure. Parents hated them, girls fainted for them.

Who the hell are these fellas and why don’t they get haircuts? Said every parent in America.

Then The Monkees– total boy band. And their TV show- so cheesy, but I LOVED it! And so did EVERYBODY else. Sadly, we lost Davy Jones this year, and you know that his cameo on the Brady Bunch is what made him memorable to most of us. Hey, hey, we’re the Monkees!!

Every day after school, I’d watch their show- right after The Brady Bunch and before Little House on the Prairie.

Not every music is every person’s cup of tea. But does anyone have the right to judge what is ‘real’ music? If it moves you, makes you happy, makes you feel, gets you dancing, gets you through a break-up, empowers you, reminds you of a loved one- then it’s music!! Right??

THIS DOES NOT APPLY TO KIDZBOP! That drivel is still horrible enough for me to take ice picks to my ears!

Those cute fellas on One Direction are adorbs and totes (see what I did there? Used my middle school slang- cuz I’m a cool mom) amazing with those little English accents, and don’t deny you aren’t bopping around in your car when their song comes on.

Their mamas must be sooo proud.

The Bieb’s song “Boyfriend” gets Emma and I going every time. I’m not sure what weird, hypnotic chords they put in, but EVERY TIME it comes on the radio, we do our white girl groove. And usually, it’s in the car. And I know Justin doesn’t qualify as a boy band, but he is a boy and he gets a lot of grief. Not that I have to defend his multi- million dollar status and 2 billion records- I think he’s gonna be fine on his own.

‘N Sync. Uh huh. J- T. You know you love it. Come on …. “Bye, bye, bye…” Thank GOD he grew out the curly pubes on his head. I think he’s so much cuter now.

We get foils done in our hair and wear shiny coats, but you love us anyway.

Jonas Brothers. Okay- they kind of bugged me. Sorry Joe. You are not going to be the next Justin Timberlake. Not gonna happen. But they are good boys. The whole chastity thing is still weird. If I was famous, I’m not going to flaunt my virginity for all to know about it. Virgin and proud is great. My children will remain virgins until they are in their 30s. But every time the magazines show them with a girl friend, I’m always thinking, ‘Aww, poor thing- she ain’t gettin’ any.’

New Kids on the Block- Donnie, Jordan, Joey- so cute… and the others, whoever they are. I mean, frankly who cares about the rest. I don’t even know their names. And these fans are hard core. They have CRUISES you take with them. Not just a concert- a CRUISE SHIP.

Who DIDN’T have this poster?

Backstreet Boys– Gone-ish but not forgotten. If you don’t get up at a wedding reception and start singing, “I want it THAT WAY”, then you just don’t know what cool is.

Why so serious?

Hanson– How can I NOT include these sweetie pies??  MMMBop. And now it’s in YOUR head too. They’re all like married and accountants or something, so the ‘one hit wonder’ status is cool with them.

Hanson then. Now that’s some good hair.

Hanson now. Still got the hair.

Okay, so there is my defense of boy bands. Coming to a mall near you. They are harmless, cute, so go on- shake your groove thang.

So be nice!  And aren’t we so over calling people gay like it’s a bad thing?

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Comments

  1. Dee says:

    Oh, Rebecca, that post made me sad. The only ones you knocked were the only ones I actually like. :( Perhaps it’s because I saw them open for Hannah Montana, before they were “stars.” I took Gwen for her 11th birthday, and they were so cute and didn’t make me want to gag once the entire 45 minutes they played.

  2. OH nO!!! I’m so sorry- I guess I just don’t like Joe now that he went solo. But you’re right- Emma has two of their CDs and they were pretty catchy. My bad. Please accept my apologies!

  3. I saw them in the Hannah Montana movie for that same tour. They were very cute then, yes.

  4. ghfool says:

    My biggest problem with Boy Bands is that not only is their music manufactured, but they aren’t women. However the Spice Girls sucked too so not even sexy British chicks can do it right. Bubble gum…you chew it for a few minutes, then throw it away. But super-hilaroius blog, you just keep getting better girl!

  5. I can see your point, but I also don’t believe the Beatles or the Monkeys were boy bands. I think the most important component of the boy band is the choreographed dancing being almost equally as important as the music. The Beatles and the Monkeys were too busy playing instruments to dry hump the air.

    I just heard that one of the guys in One Direction claims he got an STD because a koala peed in his lap during a photoshoot. I mean come on…

    • Koala’s carry vicious STDs now, seriously! :)
      You are right, I’m being totally ridiculous with my comparison to the Monkees and The Beatles. There was no choreographed dancing. So true. But my point is that people don’t have to rag on them so hard, they are just boys right? Not guerrilla regimes with machine guns! People need to lighten up.

  6. April says:

    Haha, funny vid, did you see that guy totally checking you out? Anyways, yes as women at one time or another we’ve professed our love for at least one boy band. They guys just secretly wish they were in one. I don’t have the pleasure of having a girl so it’s just me in the car getting my white on to these boy band indulgences. Ps. NKOTB FOR LIFE!!! haha.

    • Well, now I have to watch again to see the guy checking me out! I have a friend who has been on one of the NKOTB cruises! Just have fun people, and don’t spoil the party for others- right? Thanks for reading!

  7. The Beatles a Boy Band? That is lame. As time went by, The Beatles changed the style of rock and roll, and helped bring on other great bands and singers. go on…

    • Well of course! I didn’t mean to offend- I included them only for their shaggy hair cuts and cute lyrics- and how much parents at the time rejected their style. Thanks for reading!

  8. mj monaghan says:

    The boy bands have their place in pop music. I grew up with four sisters and had fun watching them get worked up over the latest group. Then got to see the same with my daughter. You highlighted some of the best. What about Menudo?

  9. jen says:

    1st concert I ever saw, NKOTB baby! Love Joey McIntyre!

  10. Although their music is often cringe-worthy by adult standards, this is a great post! However, the best part is your captions!