There’s things in life I haven’t done, and probably never will- like bungee jump, sky dive or go in a hot air balloon. But I’m pretty proud of when I signed up for a flying trapeze class.
There’s this place in Seattle that gives you the basics on trapeze. They are a circus school -SANCA. Yep, you can join the circus and you don’t even have to run away from home.
So I heaved my late 30s body onto the platform and hung on to that metal bar for dear life. You know the phrase- “scared the shit out of me”- well, I did NOT put a dooky in my panties, but oh boy- I had to pucker for dear life.
Let me say- I’m afraid of heights. The climb up the 20 foot ladder felt like climbing a sheer rock cliff. Yes, I had a safety harness. But my legs got heavier and heavier the higher I got.
Once you make it to the platform, this Tinkerbell size of a pixi woman, holds on to your belt and then a second pixi holds the trapeze bar for you and down below is the guy with the trapeze on a tether. You see these two tiny women, with no safety harness, on this little square platform and you try to act as confident as they are. You put your toes on the edge of the platform (oh God, my palms are sweating just writing this!) and you reach out to the trapeze bar. THAT MOTHER FUCKER IS H E A V Y!! I’m holding on to it with one hand, my second hand is still hanging on to the safety rope with Pixi #1. Pixi #2 is telling me to put both hands on the bar. I’m telling her I don’t want to. She is telling me I have no choice. I’m glad that I’m wearing dark pants, because I think I have tinkled out of fear, just a little bit.
Well, I willed my hands onto that bar, and when they told me, I jumped. The video is not so great- a stranger was shooting it and I don’t know why they held my camera sideways.
When you watch the video listen carefully- you can hear me screaming- you can hear the guy on the ground giving the directions- he’s saying- ”open your eyes, take a breath,” OPEN YOUR EYES! Ha!
That will be my circus trick- The trapeze lady who can fly with her eyes closed! What can I say, closing my eyes is my coping mechanism. If I’m a passenger in a car and someone cuts us off and I’m anticipating impact- I close my eyes. Someone jumps out behind a door to say boo- I close my eyes. Closing your eyes makes the scary stuff go away.
In short- after this first time in the video- and yes- I flipped off in a dismount, thankyouverymuch! I did it THREE more times!!
I felt like a FUCKING ROCK STAR!
Then in the morning I couldn’t put on my socks, wipe my butt or hold my coffee cup, my arms hurt so bad. Okay, an old rock star.
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