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It’s all fun and games until somebody pukes.

Saturday was a day Owen and I were looking forward to.  Ever since our last high tea excursion in the city, we wanted to do it again and bring my mom- this would be my Mother’s day with her. We decided to use this weekend for it instead of actually going on Mother’s Day weekend since we wanted to avoid any crowds – you know how crowded those High Teas can get! (rolls eyes) and also, we have other plans Mother’s day weekend. So this weekend it was.

Owen woke me up at 7 am on Saturday morning. He whispers- ‘I’m excited for High Tea, I can’t sleep’. Okay buddy, I’ll get up. 7 is not too early, and honestly, I like getting up and having time to catch up on emails, harvest my crops in WeTopia, you know, the usual stuff.

When it was time to go to the city to the fancy schmancy hotel, Owen had his nice shirt on and his good sweater on. Off we went in the stylin’ minivan (dear heavens this vehicle hasn’t seen a sponge or soap in months). Y’all know how much I love my minivan.

The doorman greeted us in his smart coat and hat, and I had Owen take my picture next to the Daniel Craig ad at the Omega store (duh, of course!) as the doorman looked on and laughed telling us a story of another group taking their picture next to the same picture. I guess everyone admires Mr. Bond.

Hold that thought! (Screeching tire sounds) Wait just a minute!! I forgot one important thing!!

The night before, while I was tucking Owen in, he asks me- “Mom, is being a kid going to be the best years of my life? Because I get to spend all this time with you.”

Lump in throat, eyes watery. Oh. My. Goodness. THIS is what parenting is all about. Geeze. OOOH I just hugged him to bits that night.

Okay, fast forward, back to High Tea.

Owen ordered his own pot of their signature black tea blend. He got his own tower of little sandwiches, petit fors and scones. There’s little things of cream and marmalade on the table. So. Cute.

My mom and I shared a tower of little cucumber sandwiches, curried chicken sandwiches, tarts, cream puffs and scones. We’re like, “gosh, this seems so small, is there enough food?” We even had one of the waitresses sneak us some extra sandwiches. Not kidding!!

Did we get full on our second scone and third cucumber sandwich? You bet your sweet tea pots we did! We even took home some leftovers. Silly little nitties we are! After a whole pot of tea filling your belly and those little lemon tarts with the cream, you fill up a lot faster than you think! WE learned our lesson!

Owen started to complain he didn’t feel good. Hmm, he said he didn’t feel good when he got out of the car. Let’s see here, (scratches head and thinks hard)  I’m going to make the assumption he’s just full. Funny, how when your kid complains of a stomach ache, you reason with yourself all the things it probably is. Heaven forbid, there’s ACTUALLY something wrong with them. The last thing we want is puking. I don’t just jump to the conclusion of, “oh my goodness, you’ve got the flu, quick, you need a bowl, you might vomit everywhere”. (This is called foreshadowing folks.)

Owen originally wanted to go to the University of Washington’s bookstore. That kid loves books. He was looking forward to looking at and showing books to Oma. They have a great kid’s section and lots of young adult fiction and classics. It’s really awesome.

You know it’s bad when your kid gives up the equivalent of a trip to the toy store, and asks to go home.

Ruh Roh.

“Hmm, here- hold this (hands him the paper bag the left over scones were packed in. YES I took them out first, duh!), just in case buddy ‘kay? Not that you are going to throw up (wipes his little brow comfortingly), but just in case.”

Sure enough- he moaned the entire 20 minute ride home, as soon as we pull in to the neighborhood entrance, HURL sounds come from the back seat! (Gag reflex on mom- engage, blech)

Within seconds the sour, stenchy, biley smell starts filling up the car. I roll the windows down and speed the heck home.

We get on the driveway, I jump out, help him out. Well, the bag was helpful. But not 100%. He’s covered in it. He’s sitting in it. It’s in the seat belt. On his face.

OH GOOD LORD!!

He gets on the driveway and kneels down and takes a Tebow. I see that it has covered the back of his pants. While I get a roll of paper towels and start on the car, he is making sure he is done puking for the time. Poor buddy.

My mom is just chill and being there for Owen, and I’m not letting her help.  I jump in fight or flight mode- which in this case is fight- cuz running down the street screaming isn’t going to get my van clean. And by fight I mean- grabbing every paper towel product and spray cleaner/carpet spray/ Febreze product in sight. Mom goes inside and waits for Owen to change. Once he does- I strip him inside the garage and then throw his clothes in the washing machine immediately- he snuggles on the couch with ‘The Bowl’ and chats with Oma. She gets him some water and he seems pretty good actually.

I have NO IDEA what the heck it was. He says there was a kid that puked at school and went home. I tell you, there’s been at least 4 kids that have puked in his classroom this year. His teacher must have a steel clad stomach. That’s just the worst. (shiver)

My mom and I hug and laugh on the irony of the day. Oh well. I guess this is what ‘Mother’s Day’ is all about right?? It’s never just about us- someone has to go and puke and ruin the fun! I’m just kidding! Owen felt so awful, not just in the bellyache kind, but in his heart. He was so sweet and thanked me for taking him to tea. We three promised we would do it again another time AND the book store so that we could make up for the crappy end to such a fine start to the day.

That whole afternoon we snuggled- well, I snuggled on the armchair NEXT to the couch- I’m not stupid- I think I washed my hands like, 12 times and I gave him ginger ale and he watched Harry Potter. And yes, I made myself a cup of tea. I know, I know, it’s like I need an intervention. But after all that cleaning up and chaos with the car pukeness, I needed a relaxing cup of tea.

The coast was clear for the next 12 hours and he was able to go see the Avengers movie with his buddy like he planned on Sunday. That’s his birthday party this year. Just to see a movie with a friend and go out to eat afterwards. I LOVE kids getting older and I don’t have to plan stuff!! Yay me!

And yes- the car STILL smells. I’m working on it. And yes, I’m trying every remedy known to Googlekind. So if it’s on the internet, I’ve tried it. It’s about 85% vomit-smell free now.

Happy Mother’s Day alls y’alls.

Me and Daniel- OKAY, fine- Me and a picture of Daniel.

Look at him pour his milk in his tea cup like a good English lad!! See all the cute, little fancy accoutrements on the table??

High tea and scones, with a side of James Bond.

In jest of one of my favorite mommy bloggers, Lady Goo Goo Gaga, and her post on bragging on Facebook- I’m going to brag about my fabulous afternoon with my favorite precious child that was spent having High Tea. I’m so blessed. (I threw that in for you Lady GGG!)

Yes, an 8 year old boy spent his Saturday afternoon in a fancy hotel dining room having Afternoon High Tea with his mom. And liked it!

The lobby set the tone. Owen was amazed at the splendid structures and sweeping staircases. He compared it to Bruce Wayne’s mansion. (There will be constant comparing of movie scenes throughout this post.) We entered the dining room and were seated at our lovely table set for two with fine linens, china and crystal. Two little pots of tea were brought to us. There were silver strainers in little silver cups by each cup and saucer. Little jars of honey and sugar cubes in a little bowl with silver tongs. The tower of goodies arrives with little tea sandwiches, scones, mini cups of custard, petit fours and macaroons. I almost forgot about the little fancy dish of berries we had to start with. Owen ate each berry individually with his fork. He was conscientious of his manners. He almost put his elbows on the table and stopped himself. So precious. And yes, I’ve used the word ‘little’ about a dozen times.

He loved the whipped cream to spread on the scones, he drizzled honey in his tea cup. He said how fantastic it would be if this was our house. If we had a butler to bring us tea. But then he said it might not be special anymore and he would get used to it and that would be sad. He mentioned the train station in Hugo and how quaint it all was to have a cafe, toy store and book store all in one spot. His idea of heaven.

Nothing could ruin our little day. Not even the crazy lady in the corner laughing to herself with great enthusiasm. We thought she was on her blue tooth or something, but no. Your bona fide crazy lady and all her grand illusions.

Conversation throughout tea with Owen went something like this:

Owen- “Mom, do you think James Bond drinks tea?”

Me- “Yes, I do. He’s English, he enjoys a cup of tea like the rest of us.”

***

Me- “Owen, tell me about the girls at recess that chase you. Do you like any of them back?”

Owen- “Yeah, there’s two.”

Me- “Do they know you like them?”

Owen- “Yeah, one of the boys in our group told one of the girls in their group so they know.”

Me- “Oh, like a messenger. You didn’t actually speak to these girls?”

Owen- “(laughs) No mom!”

***

Owen- “This is like Hogwarts, but really different.”

Me- “Cozy, but brighter. Hogwarts is pretty dark.”

Owen- “Yeah. Do you think this place is old? Do rich people come here? Are we rich? Hagrid wouldn’t fit in this chair.”

…you get the idea.

My favorite quote though from him between his sips of tea and nibbles of bite size peanut butter and jelly, “Being in this fancy place makes me want to be polite.”

Perhaps this is an idea for some reform idea for delinquents. Just the classical music and chandeliers encourage civil behavior.

Now, just so you guys don’t think I’m completely disillusioned in my blessed perfection of motherhood.

The tea sandwiches were tiny, the macaroons dry,  the staff could have brought more hot water sooner for me, and the whole thing cost a ridiculous amount of $$. But- was it the same as I would spend going to a 3D movie with the kids and buying popcorn and slurpees, suffering through an afternoon at Chuck E. Cheese? Probably.

Time spent with favorite son one on one: priceless.

And if you’re wondering- yes, this was Owen’s idea of what to do for our Mom/Son day. I didn’t thrust this on him and bribe him with Pokemon cards.Which makes it even sweeter.

Look at that tower of goodies! (And yes, the boy STILL needs a haircut.)

The custard was perfecton and the chocolate bars were fabulous.